You're what? (Tin roof--RUSTED!)

Tomorrow starts the library's summer hours. Which means we close at 5 on Fridays. Which means I start at 9. Which means I won't have time to blog before work tomorrow.

And it's not like I have tons to talk about, except that (this just in) there will be ONE more blushing bride this summer than expected. So, my party will be postponed until July. (Yes, the next wedding, just announced, is in two weekends, the day before my party was gonna be...)

But YAY! I get to go to the "Best Books for Babies" event sponsored by Beginning with Books on the South Side this Saturday. (Try to say that five times fast...) Thanks to Janice, who is forgoing her last day of being a soccer mom so that I can go. Thanks, Janice!!

I need to do laundry AND send some off...and pay bills. And get a haircut. And continue to stock up on small gifts...I think I forgot to get something for the shower I'm not attending this weekend. But I found something for the shower I'm not attending NEXT week, does that count? Well, um, sure. But I still need something for tomorrow's, unless I wait to gift at the event. Which I might do. Because tomorrow is DAY TWO and folks, that's not necessarily pretty. Plus, I have a cookout to go to tomorrow eve.

Plus, did I mention that my appetite hasn't stopped? Lucky for me, I have guacamole in the fridge. Hmmm...I don't think I'm getting a full night's sleep tonight...

My mother's comment when I relayed the happy news, "she's Sunny's roommate, who's getting married in two months," my mother, the one who NEVER pressures me to find a man, says, "Oh, you should move in there." Like getting a fiancé is contagious--thanks Mom.

I want them to have grandchildren. I really do. The guy on Sunday who gave the message, he's 60 and has grandchildren. My parents are 64 and going on 65. Besides, Christmas isn't fun anymore--we're all adults giving each other grown up gifts. At least when my Grandma was living, she added something to Christmas--she was very childlike her last three years of life.

I am happy to be 35. I am happy with my life for the most part. But pretty soon all my single friends are going to be married...I need a new crowd!! (And I don't really want a new crowd...I think I need some guacamole and chips and some Miranda, Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte.)

ACK!!!

Today was a day for retail therapy. I'll fill yins in on that next time. Maybe by then I'll have figured out how to post NEW pictures. I went to Goodwill and got pants and books and after work to Targét and got shirts and paper towels.

This just in...

Orlando will be a mecca for Harry Potter fans in 2009--a HP theme park will open there...

In which Sarah Louise wonders what all this technology is for if it DOESN'T WORK????

Okay, so today or tomorrow will be Day Two. (I'm just saying.) I think I'll see if I can schedule a haircut. (Yes, at my regular place...)

Oh, I promised you morning walk pix, didn't I? Oh, and I'm not stupid, I know that posts with pictures get more comments. I should adopt a child just so I can post baby pictures...NO!

Yes, I'm a little loopy. You'll have that.

And yes, today (toady?) I'm going to send emails to decide which neighborhood computer guy I'm gonna use for the "Official Changeover of Sarah Louise's Computer--Goodbye ME, Hello XP!"

Maybe that should be the raison d'etre of the upcoming party I'm throwing. Yes, SL is tired of answering everyone else's e-vites. And yes, I'll be sending one of my own, but it is easier, and I don't have people's mailing address...and and and.

(Although I did spend most of my day yesterday doing a pros and cons of paper invites.)

[for you viewers at home, this is where it all went bust...the technology went on strike!]

AND since my software thing for my camera is not working, I've just installed Picasa on my computer. Yes, just like that. So additionally, if you have comments on Picasa or why I should choose Flickr, it's another opportunity to comment.

OR if you know why my stupid computer won't import my stupid pictures...ARGH! Something is broken and I don't know what it is. Which means there will be no NEW pictures from yesterday's walk.

(All that time lapsed was me trying to see if I could figure out how to use Picasa for today's blog picture display and no, it's not intuitive enough for me.)

(And the rest of the time lapsed, yes, it is now 10:00 am, the TIME STAMP is for when I started this post...is for my computer freaking out, me shutting it down, Firefox updating itsself...SOMEBODY STOP THE MADNESS!)

Sorry, I just had to have a shout. (Does anyone else remember that moment from About a Boy, when they're in the restaurant, and the kid shouts Cow a bunga!)

So, no pictures, because not only is my camera and/or my computer not wanting to do import/export of new pictures, "My Pictures" doesn't want to open so I can see what I might be posting to yins n'at.

Oh, and Picasa? Thinks that I had a digital camera in 1980. Some of my 2007 pictures showed up in a folder labeled with that year. Let's see, I was still using my mom's Brownie camera at that time--with 126 film, so that would be a NO! And unlike David (see, I remembered his name) I have not decided yet to scan all my photos to my computer (which seems like a great idea until you have one of the mornings like I've had this morning.) I wonder if it's too late to take a WALK!

Lucky for me, I don't have to be at work until 1 pm. Which is I'm sure a good thing for my co-workers too, considering that I probably have bulging veins at this point in time.

And just in case you are wondering, yes, I already had all those labels. No new labels were created for this post.

Off to email the computer guys...or maybe I'll take that walk...Yes, I think for everyone's sake, I NEED to take that walk.

[This post was brought to you by your local Luddites lodge, who reminds you that a pencil is an amazing invention. It has a writing component and a delete button and neither require batteries or electricity or TECHNOLOGY]

If I had more energy, I'd bring up scads of quotes from You've Got Mail. Instead, I'll just link to some quotes. (And imdb doesn't even have the one I want, which is

"You think that machine is your friend, but it's not."

And that, as they say, is a wrap.

YAY! My picture is on Schmutzie's rooster roll thing-a-ma-jig

Click on "Le Cockroll" (on my sidebar, below the roosters) and you'll see it. Don'tcha love the Internet? Anyways, support the Canadian Cancer Society n'at.

Housekeeping at ze blog n'at

So, a few things. I've updated my profile (twice--I added the bit about having a dark side after one of the ACK! posts last week).

I've added my "cockroll picture" and link to Schmutzie's roll--it's a whole stamp out cancer thing, which I am ALL FOR. Plus, she and her hubbie are BOTH great writers, they'll be on the rolls soon.

After all the blog rolls (which I hope to update/reorder soon...) I have two more new items, which also need updating, books I'm reading and items lost in my garret.

I took a long walk today, even walked the "family" stairs (I started praying for families about eight years ago when my current pastor was going through a divorce, and I prayed for them while I was on these stairs. I took pictures,* but I'll do pictures tomorrow.)

It felt good to walk. My legs still feel it, and I've been home, messing around on blogs n'at for at least a half hour.

*Whenever I take pictures now, I think of the captions I'd give them if I had a cool photoblog like Paula's. Like the stairs would be "Stairmaster" but they're these moss covered stone stairs...and the water fountain would be "Oasis." Caption-making makes me smile.

As you were. I'm off to get ready to go to Sewickley. The mileage this week is going to be out there. A trip to the moon, a trip to Sewickley...oh, and Monday I was bored and wanting Abate (which still isn't open?) so I drove out to Pittsburgh Mills. I had dinner at Red Robin.

HOW DID IT GET TO BE 10:18??

25 years of memorable books...according to USA Today

All that websurfing I do found me this. It's not a surprise that Harry Potter tops the list...

If you want the rants, you'll have to go to the other blog. I really let it rip...

Plunging hormones...

Mutter, mutter, complain a little...

The thing in Moon--was for academic librarians. I was THE ONLY Public Librarian there.

Then I had a tiff with my boss at the end of the day. Thank goodness for 6pm, when I said I was leaving. And I did.

And NH Sally saved me. I called and begged for leftovers and the screaming mimis were calmed by spaghetti, white wine, and girl time on the deck.

Then I went grocery shopping, and Walgreens and spent a lot of money, so it's no wonder I'm not in the best mood.

And my appetite has increased. I'm eating four meals a day. Charlotte and Miranda just had their "this baby shower is going to stink" fight. Right now Carrie and Miranda are sitting on Carrie's stoop and Miranda's talking about how she'll never be a good mother... (I heart SATC!)

There has got to be a sunny side to this all...well, I did get to go to the moon (Moon Twp, PA) today. AND I got free lunch. AND I didn't get lost going from Moon to our library.

Tomorrow I get to see my therapist, YAY! And eat at Cafe Ches Amis in Sewickley for lunch...maybe I'll take pictures...

One more picture. There are more...

Happy Birthday Aunt Margaret and other thoughts on a Tuesday

Aunt Margaret is my hero, of sorts. She's been dead at least twelve years, I have a lot of her furniture because she died right around the time I moved into the garret and was needing furniture. I have her table and chairs and a little shelf that I use for my collectibles. I also have a kitchen counter thingy. Maybe I'll take pictures later.

But for now, I have to walk to the store (well, I choose to walk there--it's a nice day and when else will I get my walk in?) for milk.

Aunt Margaret was single until she was fifty, when a judge who was friends with the judge she was secretary for stopped by with Mets tickets and AM's judge wasn't there. We know this judge (the one with tickets) as Uncle Ed. They eloped to New England. My mother always describes Uncle Ed as boring, but of course to me he sounds very romantic--not that I'd want my first date to be a baseball game, I'd show my ignorance of the game. And he bought her a pig. She saw a pig and AM said she'd like one, and he bought her one! He must not have lived too long, but because of him, AM was a wealthy widow, and traveled, and made it possible for my mom to stay at camp for extra weeks in the summer, and magazine subscriptions, and such. I only ever knew her as a widow, as I only ever knew my Granny, and since they were both independent ladies that doted on me, I thought this is the life. When I grow up I'm going to be a widowed granny or aunt. (You see the bizarre thought process there, but I was seven, give me a break!) They had time for me, whereas my Grandma had Grandpa and she always corrected the spelling and grammar in any letters I wrote to her. (It was only after Grandpa died that Grandma and I developed a relationship. She still corrected my spelling, but for a few years I wrote her letters every Sunday morning and called her regularly on Sunday afternoons.)

Wow. I didn't realize I had all that family history just on the brim, waiting to spill out. Maybe I'll email this to Sis, since she otherwise never visits...

Oh, and one more thing--Kiki might know this or not--Granny, who is my dad's mom (and Kiki's mom's mom), knew Aunt Margaret through some club...which I always thought was cool, that the two sides of the family had this connection. I'll have to get more details. My family is not so good at telling stories (well, except me, but I don't have all the facts...)

A blogfriend of mine has a quote on her profile. Her husband says about her, "Heidi is an open book, but not a short read." I think Heidi and I share that. We love telling stories. And a story really isn't a story if no one's listening. So thank you my dear ones, for being my audience.

Oh, and in other news, I finished re-reading Girl's Poker Night. I wonder how many times I've read it now. Laura keeps track of that sort of thing on LibraryThing... Anyways, it was lovely, as always. Ruby Capote and I have SO MUCH IN COMMON. And I love the book because she's a columnist and some of the chapters you're not sure if they're a column or not, and then the other chapters are short, which remind me of blog posts...and it takes place in New York, and it's all about Ruby stumbling towards love...perhaps one of these days I'll give it a proper review. But for now, I have to quick decide if I'm walking or driving to the store for milk...I got all wrapped up in it being AM's birthday. Hmmm, she was born in 1898, so she'd be...(you do the math.)

I think I'll drive to the store and get ready for my trip to the moon (I mean Moon Twp.) since I don't know how long it will take me to get there, and if I get there early, I can walk around. Besides, I'll be home in the evening, so I can walk then.

Darn inertia (an object at rest stays at rest, an object in motion stays in motion. A blogger blogging gets glued to her chair...)

Ungluing--NOW!

In which Sarah Louise goes to Phipps (Pt 1 of ?) [with spelling corrections]

Well, I'm not up for a long post with lotsa pictures, but this was my favorite scene at Phipps and believe me, I took lotsa pictures of this one scene, from many vantage points. But I figured I'd give you a little something. The artist, Chihuly (which I'm sure I spelled wrong) (Thanks CatStevens!), goes from place to place, doing art installations in glass. It's very cool. I was enamored with this boat full of colorful balls. It's just so playful.



And now I'm off to do some laundry. I might take a drive later. Lily and I had a lovely lunch at the Waterfront Pizzeria Unos and then we walked along the river. I'm going to the moon tomorrow. Oh, I mean Moon Twp. For training. And I think free lunch. I better double check on that. I promise more pictures to come.

"When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place."

(The Acts of the Apostles, 2:1, RSV)

"The sanctuary's not air conditioned," I reminded my mom on the phone as we discussed meeting at a Chinese restaurant for dinner before church.

Well, the folks that designed the "prayer stations" tonight really capitalized on that one...

One station had a prayer, When I'm afraid, Holy Spirit refresh me. When I'm tired, Holy Spirit refresh me. And then when you were done, you were to take a drink of cool water as a reminder of the refreshment of the Holy Spirit.

Another station was a fan positioned behind a card table. (This station was duplicated on each end of the Great Hall.) On the card table was a reminder that the Spirit is like the wind, it goes where it wishes. (John 3:8). It felt really good to stand in front of the fan, and one wonders why the fans were turned off for the rest of the service...

Another station was a table, and on it was a bowl of ice. The prayer was something like this: Our hearts are frozen, we are cold: to God, to others. To symbolize our desire to melt, to be open to God, to others, we poured hot water onto the bowl of ice. The visual, seeing the water melt even a little portion of ice, was a reminder that God does melt our hearts of stone.

I wandered from station to station and ended up sitting on the toy carpet by Alyssa's mom, chatting a bit.

And the sermon was like an old camp revival exhortation: "You are the gospel to your neighbor, your co-worker, your friend." Why do people need Jesus? Because they are sinners. Why do people need the church? Because we can't go through this life alone, as forgiven sinners. IT'S HARD!! God is a missionary God, THEREFORE, we are a missionary people. Maybe you think of a missionary as someone in Africa, or South America. When God thinks of a missionary, he sees your face.

Giving the sermon was the pastor of the Pittsburgh Presbytery. Who before he started his message, told us how much the Pittsburgh Presbytery loves and supports the Open Door, because we are trying new things.

At the end of the service, as folks were folding up tables, I approached him and said, "Thank you for coming, it was encouraging." He said something and I said, "We get discouraged." And he said, people care about this church. People are praying for you. It was good to hear. I needed to hear that.

Lilly was there, and sat by us in the beginning, and later, with a veteran, who walked in just as BJ was saying "The Holy Spirit is an eclectic person." The veteran, wizened and looking a little spaced out, held a flag, which he waved. Lilly knew him, which didn't surprise me, she knows so many people, and went and sat by him, and encouraged him. Even the pastor, as he preached, came up to the veteran and thanked him for his service to our nation.

Oh, and John presented our graduation gift to BJ: a gift certificate for a bike. (BJ graduated from seminary on Thursday, woo hoo!)

And I am encouraged. I am encouraged for having spent time with my family, having folks meet my family...and as I am listening to the PBS Memorial Day special on WQED behind me, I am encouraged. I am crying as I listen to an actress do a monologue of a mom who lost her 20 year old son, who writes a in a journal every Sunday sitting at Arlington National Cemetary.

I hope you are encouraged as we enter this season of Pentecost.* These are not easy times, these times in which we live.

As the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote, in his poem "God's Grandeur,"

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings. (1918)**

*Pente=50, so 50 days after the Passover and now in the Christian tradition, 50 days after Easter.
**First published January 1996; published July 1999 by Bartleby.com; © Copyright Bartleby.com, Inc

Another manic Saturday, oh I wish it was Monday, that's my fun day....

So...I got up, laid back down, blogged a bit, rushed off to work, worked from 9:30 to noon, scarfed down lunch at Kelly O's Diner, went to Target to get a gift off the wedding registry--the cashier said, "If it wasn't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done." Drove up to the video drop box at Giant Eagle, returning SATC Season Two, Vol?.

Drove home, wrapped the gift (a game!), took a shower, painted my toenails orange to match my shoes (here)*, and drove to Oakland for the wedding. Did I miss anything?

The wedding was BE-YOO-Gorgeous. The bride processed to "Anne's Theme" (you know, from Anne of Green Gables the movies?) It was so beautiful!! I almost regretted my decision to not attend the reception when I sat down next to E&A and then C sat down next to them. Plus, Alyssa & John did the music, and all the Woodworths were in attendance (the boys, almost 5--or is it 6?, were the ringbearers--AWWWW!). But I think it's much better to wish I had gone to the reception and think "oh that would have been nice" than to GO and regret it. My parents were in New Stanton when I left the wedding, so they should be here soon. I have a little bit of tidying to do before they get here.

Which I'll go do....now. Ta!

*I know there's a more recent pic, with the toenails but I can't find it and there they are, the 'rents (this was written in two stretches, as it took them MUCH longer than I expected.)

In which Sarah Louise does a meme in what seems a futile attempt to stay awake at work...

Today is the sort of day that would be really good for physical labor, because sit me at a desk when I'm feeling like this and all I want to do is take a nap.

So Paula got tagged for the "7 things about me" meme and she tagged whoever read it that hadn't done it yet, so here goes.

1. I've traveled all over the world but never been to our neighbor to the south, Mexico. (I went to Canada for the first time 5 years ago when I got my Masters in Library Science.)
2. I usually read more than one book at at time. Right now I probably am in the middle or at the start or end of about 5 books.
3. Today is my friend Eileen's 24th birthday. Yes, that counts--it's about me, because she's MY friend. (And a sneaky way to mention it...)
4. I don't have a garden.
5. I hate grocery shopping.
6. I occasionally think about starting a non-anonymous blog, since so many folks know who I am, but then I think it would be too much work.
7. I can roll my tongue. Can you?

"Somebody's gonna drop everything, Run out and crank up their car..."

Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who you're friends are

(Tracy Lawrence, "Find out who your friends are")

Yes, I like country music. You got a problem with that??

So....Guess who locked her keys in her car? When I called her, EE Sally said, if you call Triple A, you'll waste a lot of time, I'll come. I was on my way home, parked at the Taco Bell, in Etna, and she is the only person with an extra set of my car keys, so I did call her first, saying, first, "I can call Triple A." She said, "I'll rescue you."

Which, she did, and then I stood outside my unlocked car and she sat in hers and we talked about random things like why Peabody HS had their prom on a school night...

**************

Also, thank you for all the comments and emails. I've started listening to It's called a breakup because it's broken (which is a much better book than He's just not into you) and I think my heart is moving on.

So I'm just a simple gal, trying to figure out how to not whine too much and make this relevant but still be me, which is smart but smarting, and not really interested in hearing breastfeeding stories this week.

In other news, NH Sally said (as we sat on her terrace in the shade over lunch), she'll plan my wedding shower and we'll have sangria and we'll play the "mawiage" scene from The Princess Bride. Wow, I'm excited about that. Now I just need to find a man...*

(which for some reason made me think of Monica Geller and her jam plan and then her baby plan.)

*(which made PJ at work grab her hands over her mouth...) (She's often apt to say that the only reason they're still married is laziness--she's too lazy and he never gets rid of anything.)

Bed. I think it's time to go to bed.

6 Indulgences under $25 in Pittsburgh (In case you don't want to buy the $48 shorts from Free People)

(If you haven't read Blackbird's recent Italy/random/fashion post, go there now.)

1. Manicure (plain, no special decals) $12-14 depending on the salon.
2. Movie (matinee) $6.50
3. Playing Free Cell at Yahoo! Games: Free! (well, I suppose the cost of dial-up or DSL could be figured in, but who has time for that kind of algebra)
4. Visit to Café des Amis for lunch: ~$8.00 for sandwich and soup du jour or salad. (again, if you like algebra, you could figure in gas mileage to Sewickley.)
5. Dinner at Wendy's: ~$4.00 for small iced tea, Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe, and Baked Potato, 2 sour creams.
6. Trip to Library Book Nook: ~$15.00 for coffee (decaf), biscotti (chocolate covered), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (hardcover), The Time Traveler's Wife (paperback), Victoria Magazine's book on Calling Cards, an older Catalog for the Carnegie Art Museum, Three Musketeers (the one with Charlie Sheen) on VHS, and two other paperbacks...(algebra for Master's in Library Science tuition, 20% discount for staff, mileage for workplace that is a half hour away from home residence.)

against my better judgement, I give thee, the bridal shower mayhem picture...

I like this picture because of the chaos and that the emotion I felt is clearly expressed in the woman on the right in the striped shirt. All the other pictures feature women with red eyes, you know, from the camera, not puffy from crying...oh I gotta get out of here!!

Let's talk about something else, PLEASE!

So if you've been reading this week, you have seen the gamut of my mood swings. And if you have my email, this is the time to send me an "oh sweetie, you'll be fine" message. (You can totally cut and paste that!!)

So Jenny was talking about turtles and boy, does the Louise family LOVE turtles.

...please put another coin in the blog...your time is up...

okay, so I woke up at 9, spent some time with my email and reading blogs and rearranging things on my own (what, you can't see all the nuances??).

So now I really DO need to go do other things, namely EAT something, do a little housekeeping...cuz THE 'RENTS are coming on Saturday, Hallelujah!!

So talk amongst yourselves...about turtles. The Louise family loves sea turtles especially, so as your blogger librarian, I recommend E.L. Koningsburg's The view from Saturday and Sarah Weeks' Follow the moon (book AND CD).

and this post is called too tired to sleep...

Whine and Cheese...

Yes, I'm thirty-five. And single. And pretty much happy about both those things, except when I'm in a room with twelve women who are either: married, new mothers, younger than me, or engaged and about to be married in 48 hours, 72 hours, or two months. The main reason I went to this party was that I had so much fun Monday. But women-only parties can be such a drag...

We made wedding dresses from toilet paper (my first time) and bouquets that might be used not in the wedding but as decor. I left before the "advice for the new bride" started flowing.

Which was around 10:15 pm. (Remember I worked a 12 hour day yesterday.)

But the day did have its pleasures: lunch at the Sesame Inn with Marian and a box from Kiki with a teacup that I think probably was my Granny's. Also a saucer, and two mugs she made.

I just finished off the guacamole that was for the party Saturday (yes, it has been in the fridge) and have been watching some Season Two SATC.

It's midnight plus a few minutes. Hopefully soon I'll nod off.

Just in time...

Remember how I was sick and taking vacation days left and right and stressing about my negative comp time (about 33 hours) n'at?

Remember how I've been working daylight on Tuesdays to go to this über cool discussion group for my church The Open Door?

Did I mention that I actually left the house early today to get to work at 9:45 instead of 10 and planned to work until 6:15 pm to gain another bit of comp time (chipping away at that 33 hours...)?

Did I mention I had to drive to Sewickley (a 30 min drive from my library) in the middle of the day for training for our Summer Reading Club?

Well, even if you didn't know any of those things before now, doesn't that seem like a lot, already?

Well, guess who forgot to look at the monthly calendar. Yes, guess who didn't notice that Jenny was on vacation this week, so I'm working her desk shift. Yes, thazzright, from 6 pm to 9 pm.

God Bless Laura, who was the bearer of the bad news, but stayed 20 minutes late so I could run to Wendy's for some sup-sup-suppertime! This is when arriving 15 minutes early on Saturday to relieve her and just being friendly in general pays off big time.

In other news, the party last night was so fun that I am seriously (ack) considering attending the wedding shower tomorrow.

I think, though, at the end of this evening, I will definately need a beer or a bath or maybe both. Because rise and shine, tomorrow is the last Mother Goose of the season.

Oh, let's not go there. Oh, all right...I was supposed to have something for the kids, it being the last week. Then I took my sweet time ordering it, b/c first I had to get a purchase order, and then to get the discount I had to update my ALA membership. By the time I ordered it, guess what, it's on back order.

So then, I had a brainstorm that I would make the booklets that Librarian Sally has for her storytimes.

Today, I had a panic moment when I realized, I am not Librarian Sally, and so I devised an item for our graphic artist to put together.

But I was out this afternoon, she was out this afternoon, and so now I have...nothing. MAYBE she'll have something for me by 10 a.m. tomorrow, but now I'm like between a rock and a very hard place.

EXCEPT: I'm here at work for another 2 hours, so I could come up with something on my own...

But I really don't want to.

So I think I'll go online and see what I can come up with that's not too cheesy. Because I told them I'd have something for them. And I WILL, but there's the backorder, and the fact that the graphic artist and I had crossed wires.

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY! (oh, and I am experiencing PMS, so that's fun too.)

But what happened good in your day, Sarah Louise?

I had an awesome lunch at a French café in Sewickley. The veggie soup was creamy and yummy and the veggie sandwich--the crust was crunchy, the cheese was cheesy--it was ambrosial.

Still re-reading Girl's Poker Night. Still loving it. Today I rejected two audio books: a James Lee Burke mystery that just seemed a little too gritty for me and a novel about Mary and Joseph (yes, the parents of Christ) that was beyond syrupy.

J Rocks!

I just got home from the barbecue!!

(I was one of the last guests to leave, and actually the last one, since I was behind K, as we left at the same time.)

I love it when a party dies down and it's just the last folks. J is in town from Washington State and he is well, the coolest. He used to live here and we miss him terribly. If I believed in breaking marriages, I totally would have gone after him YEARS ago. But I really like his wife, too, so that wasn't an option. Plus, he really likes her too, so there you go. And they're having a baby in June!!

I had my first try of scotch, and we sat around and told jokes, most of which I wouldn't repeat here. We laughed and laughed...Kiki would know the one I told, about my dad going to the mechanic in Germany...I'll tell ya later, I gotta go to bed!

But I have to say this: at noon today, after a full hour of me using half my therapist's box of Kleenex, she asked me, "I know you hate being asked this, but are you suicidal?" I said, "no, but if I was, this is when it would be." I mean, I was a MESS.

And then, I don't know, I got through the rest of the day and I got to see myself as a person I like being. I haven't been her for awhile. And you know, it feels great.

And now, I must to bed. And yes, in case you're wondering...there were two posts that I reverted to draft. Sarah Louise sez, "You snooze, you lose." Besides, they were pretty much wine and cheese blogging and I got some sympathy (THANK YOU POPPY and KIKI) and the beat goes on.

G'nite. Or rather, very early morning.

Three in one day--no it's not a posting record. This post brought to you by the letter M.

There were no movies I wanted to see. Spiderman 3, while good, was kind of a downer, and it would be much more fun to see Pirates 3 with my sister.

So I went for the manicure.

First, though, I cleared out my car. (Gas prices being what they are, I don't need to be carrying any extra weight.) Whilst I was organizing, Mr. First Floor came out, on his way to one of his many gigs. (He's a free lance musician/piano teacher/etc.) He's a nice guy. We chatted a bit, and then he was on his way.

And moments later, I left, to get the manicure.

THEN I came back and spent the one-hour-where-you're-not-supposed-to-do-stuff-with-your hands with my neighbor Mini (yes, another M). She's a housebound octogenarian and up til now I would have not gone over, but GUESS WHAT? My cold seems to have gone away!!

So...that means I'm going to the barbecue for the (another M) medical students who graduated today. Jury's still out on the shower, Wednesday, and the wedding (prelude to a Marriage) on Saturday is also up in the air...

Oh, and I finally met the man who bought the house next door and one of the girls who lives next to Mini. Neither of them have M names, but they seemed nice anyways.

So...what do you think? The color is Whodoo Voodoo.

Pimp my mood, baby!

My new therapist rocks the clock. I used up almost half her box of Kleenex (told you) and here were some of her bits of advice:

• Match.com or some sort, even if it is just for companionship. We both think we might try Y108's thing-y. (She's single too.) Because it seems like all my friends (oh, you noticed) are already hooked up.
• Ditch the wedding, either go home or have the 'rents come here--it's obvious I need some family type loving.
  
• Get out! Do something, go somewhere, get out of the garret!!

I feel better already. And her thought was that if a guy has a rule on age, there might be something else a little fishy about him. It was nice to hear someone else say that OUT LOUD. (I've been thinking it.) Poppy will back me up on this one, I know.

So, if you'll scuse me, I have some Meditereanean Nachos leftovers (pretty much the only good result of last night's trip to Sharp Edge) to eat. Then quick pay-a some bills and then OUT! I'm thinking things that begin with m--movie or manicure. And clear out the crap from my backseat.
I might wait to call my doctor tomorrow.

spending too much time looking at the closed door...

When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us... (Helen Keller)

This week, if I had health, I could:

• go to a party tonight for my friends graduating from med school.
• go to a wedding shower on Wednesday for my friend who is graduating from med school today and getting married on Friday
• go to a wedding on Saturday (I WILL BE AT THIS EVENT, come rain or come shine.)

Oh, and it's Memorial Day this weekend! (I should be glad, I get an extra day off, but...)

The cold still is with me. My mood has turned from "eh" to worse.

And I can quote portions of Season 4, Vol 3 to you: (Carrie) "That's my squirrel?" and "I can't believe you're going out with someone named after a tree!" and (Miranda) "that's my scary age"(43) and (Carrie) "45 is mine."

Last night I sat between two men who talked to each other about the 10% rule or the 10 year rule. So gentlemanly of them...one had the theory that age of girlfriend shouldn't equal more than a 10% difference between yours. I actually remember having the "age" conversation with said gentleman at exact seat, at least a year ago. The other had the theory that 10 years older or younger, as long as it wasn't illegal. Nice, guys. Real pleasant for this 35 year old almost-SPINSTER to be listening to. I think I'm getting very bitter. Is it any WONDER???

Also, had an email exchange with my psychiatrist this morning:

Me: "I forgot to schedule after our last appt, when should I reschedule?"
Him: "If you're feeling fine mood-wise, 4-5 weeks. If not, then sooner."

Until this morning, I think I would have said 4-5 weeks. I don't think my current therapist has seen me cry yet. I think she'll be getting full use of her Kleenex box this morning.

This afternoon, I HAVE to look at my bills.

A happy thought: I have some clean clothes.

Oh, and did I mention that today has already been:

trip to the chiropractor.

In a few, I'll hop in the car for:

trip to the therapist.

Then I'll catch a quick lunch and then motor to Oakland for:

a blood test. (It's for the study I'm in, see other blog.)

I've been re-reading Jill Davis' Girl's Poker Night. I love this book. I love this book so much.

I missed the party!! ACK!! and other thoughts about life...

So yesternight was the party for BJ and his lovely wife. BJ graduates this week from seminary--WOO HOO--he's been going for a very long time...and Kat turned 29+. Anyways, it was the party of the year, This Side of Eve was gonna play, EVERYONE was gonna be there, I even borrowed NH Sally's nice bowl for the chips and guacamole that I was taking. It's one of those that has a place for chips and then a place for dip. KEWL. So I called my parents when I got home from work, as we had not talked in ages (well 36-48 hours) and I got my mother. Who is not worried that her Mother's Day card isn't even in the mail yet. (Have I mentioned that she's The Best?)

I told her I was going to lie down for a bit and then go to the party. As soon as I hung up, I remembered I hadn't told them I GOT MY 5 YEAR PIN so I called right back and got my dad. Who was very congratulatory.

Then I lay down and had all sorts of dreams about driving in New York City (but somehow it couldn't have really been NYC because it was actually pleasurable to drive...) and at one point woke up enough to realize CRAP! It's probably past eleven! (When the party ended.)

I awoke again just recently, took my bedtime pills, which means I'll be a little off today...

****************

I've started subscribing to Word of Hope e-devos and right now they're going through Ecclesiastes (all is dust, nothing is good under the sun, etc. etc.) This devo is specifically on Ecclesiastes 2:1-11 and the list of all the toys King Solomon bought himself to make himself happy. (He who dies with the most toys wins, n'at.) Since I wouldn't know, I've always sort of skipped over this part. I mean, who cares about a king who had all this stuff, the best stuff, etc, etc. Then your mind glosses over to wouldn't it be nice to have thus and such... (well mine does.)

Aside: clearly I'll be needing cough meds again, today.

Anyways, so I'm half-heartedly reading the verses, and the devo, when the devo writer hits me with the punchline, a prayer.

"Father, thank you for all good things. May we not use pleasure to avoid facing important questions. Amen."

OH.

Even in my spare (and yet cluttered) garret, I do that. I mean, who WOULDN'T rather watch SATC reruns than pay the bills or think about important questions? It made me think about Reese Witherspoon's acceptance speech for the Oscar for Walk the Line: quoting June Carter Cash, she said, "I'm just trying to matter."

Well, me too. I'm just trying to matter.

But it's so easy to forget that, to think about how many books I can add to my LibraryThing account, or when am I going to finish all this laundry and not think about:

What will be my legacy?

I certainly don't want to get to the end of my days and be like King Solomon:

"I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11, NIV)

(I did look up The Message, but somehow I need the word "meaningless" to be in there...)

Laundry, in the end? Meaningless. It's a task that's never ever done.

(This is where if I had the energy, I'd list all the meaninglessness in my life.)

And this is where my English teacher, Dr. (I can't remember her name right now, but yes, she was my high school English teacher and a DR!!) would say, "weak conclusion." I'm good at the meat, but I have weak conclusions.

Oh, but like in the end, is it really important that I missed the party last night? Or that I have lots more books to add to my LibraryThing account?

Yeah, I'm sorry, my conclusion stinks. Can I go back to bed now?

Oh, and I read Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl yesterday. WOW. (Although Maniac Magee is still my favorite, um, of the two JS books I've read.) Oh, and Love, Stargirl is coming out in August.

Blogiversary--I'm TWO!

I go by "the Saturday after In-Service Day," not by the actual date. It's easier to remember.

And I've got bloggers block. (And insomnia--I've been up since 3ish.) Ah well. Go read the one with all the links to all the books I've read recently.

Crunch all you want, we'll make more--I promise. As soon as I lick this cold. More riting about booocs n'at.

Happy Trails (until we meet again). It's been lovely sharing this cyberspace with yins.

Here's a link to my first blogiversary. I posted a landmark post on comments later that day. It's been downhill since then, I'm afraid. I'll try to pick up the pace.

Hogs and quiches to you all. (Virtual ones, mind you, I still have vestiges of this cold/flu thing-y.)

TTFN,

SL

oh, and I've been adding lots of books to LibraryThing

most of them are tbr, (to be read) but hey, a girl's gotta dream. You can find me under sarahlouise (one word).

TTFN...

Well, maybe something to tide you over...

I GOT MY 5 YEAR PIN! Pictures later...

So DGB requests writing on books. I can do THAT at least.

I just stopped listening to a Maisie Dobbs mystery--it was getting too dark for my taste. But in the same sort (post WWI, British woman mystery) I have fallen in love with Daisy Dalrymple. So far I've only read the first (authored by Carola Dunn) but I highly recommend it, Death at Wentworth Court. Daisy is the daughter of a viscount but chooses to work, and her social standing offers her entree into places she might otherwise not have entree. (Note to self--you are very tired when you use entree twice in one sentence.) She works as a freelance writer, but like our girl on this side of the pond, Nancy Drew, seems to show up where things go amuck. There's also a cute investigator from Scotland Yard who (I read ahead on book jackets) becomes her fiance.

I just finished listening to Made to Stick. I don't exactly recommend/disrecommend it--is that even a word? It has a lot of stories, and that's the main reason I kept with it. The premise of the brothers who wrote it is that a story sticks far more than statistics--you remember the urban legend but forget to recycle your phone book. (Bad example, but I am TIRED!)

Tomorrow's Mother/Daughter is Tuck Everlasting--which I had forgotten how sinister it was. The movie matches fairly well, except that in the book, Winnie is ten, and in the movie she's at least fifteen, and there's a whole subplot of her going to finishing school and her parents are RICH. In the book, her parents may own the wood surrounding the cottage, but it's a cottage, not an estate, as it is in the movie. I do not want to make up fifteen questions if no one shows as has happened for the past two times. (Or was it just once?) I love this program but I am exhausted and wish I could have confirmation that my making up questions is not for naught.

I finally read the Newbery and am not sure why all the fuss on all accounts--why did it win? why all the fuss on account of the word scrotum? I read and LOVED Maybe Yes, Maybe No, Maybe Maybe, an earlier Patron (pronounce pa-trone, like drone) book, but The Higher Power of Lucky, well, eh...but I have to say that I don't know what other books were in the running for this year's award...

Let's see...inhaled Beth Moore's Get out of that Pit, but it has holds, so no time to re-read. I heart Beth Moore. Although at $13.85 (Amazon's price) I suppose I could buy it...

Which, btw, my 5 year pin came with a $5 dollar Border's Gift card, WOO HOO!!

I promised BJ when I bought Good to Great on CD I'd lend it to him--better get on that...

Meanwhile, I have the rest of Frasier to watch.

Blogiversary on the horizon...and I got...nothing! (updated)

Saturday will be the third second anniversary of my starting this blog. (I must have been thinking in terms of "starting my third year..." sorry!)

Right now, I just want to curl up on my sofa and sleep.

Which I think I might do.

Cuz tomorrow, is STAFF IN-SERVICE DAY. Let me put it to you softly: people who care deeply about Library 2.0, people who have never heard of Library 2.0, people who care about customer service but don't practice it, people who don't care about customer service, all in one room, all day. Oh, and we get re-certified for CPR and NEXT year I'll get a 5 year pin. The food should be good though.

And there's going to be something where we guess who each other's baby pictures are?

It could be bad. On the other hand, lunch from Boston Market, not on my dime, nothing wrong with that.

Meanwhile, Zicam is getting me through the days. And nights. I promise to blog about books, SOON.

oh brother, oh sister... (updated)

Internets, ugh.

So I overslept BIG TIME and had to relinquish Mother Goose to my very able co-worker Sally (yes, I told you there were a lot of Sallys in my life.)

And it's raining cats and dogs and I do not want to do ANYTHING, much less go to work. Especially since my boss, if she knew I was still sick, might send me home and I HAVE NO SICK DAYS LEFT. And I'm like 5 days in negative comp time.

I basically need a miracle--some sort of wrinkle in time.

But maybe I'm just feeling this way because I don't have any drugs in my system...(I thought I'd left the Zicam in the car and I was going to have to brave the rain to go out to get it...)

Oh, and thanks for all your sweet comments. (Blushing...) I couldn't ask for nicer blog friends.

I'm gonna go take Zicam, go take a shower, eat something, take the rest of my drugs, and CONQUER THE DAY.

YARRGH, I am the mighty Sarah Louise! (who is taking the morning off...did I mention how much I LOVE MY BOSS???)

I'll be there by 2 and work a late shift or call her and renegotiate. I think this calls for...a nap!

Miracle drug discovered: Zicam cold and flu

I made it through the polls today (dawn to dusk) by taking Zicam and by taking a nap around noon.

My brain is a noodle and I can't find the Season One DVDs I bought ages ago. (Sex and the City we're talking here.) So I have been watching Vol whatever of Season 4, again and again.

Tomorrow is Mother Goose.

I want to do something FUN! I had half a mind to go to the Sharp Edge for Mediterannean Nachos and a beer but it's no fun going alone. And really, sharing funny election stories isn't fun if you weren't there...

Soooooo tired.

Anyways, time to take the NIGHT-time version of Zicam.

Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure.

oh, and if can vote tomorrow, DO SO!

BB has prepared a nice voter's guide for the City of Pittsburgh and Highland Park, our neighborhood.

I wrote this up for our church's weekly email. They reprinted portions of it in Sunday's bulliten.

Tuesday, May 15 is Primary Election Day in Allegheny County. If you are registered as a Democrat or a Republican, you can vote for people in your party.

If you don't care about who will be running in November for Judicial, City Council and School Board, don't show up on Tuesday...but you seem like the sort of person that DOES care, so here are some resources from the OD's own public librarian, SW, who will be working the polls on Tuesday...(if the Fulton School is your polling place, stop by and say hey!)

Click on some links, talk to your neighbors that have lawn signs up, and go vote on Tuesday. The polls open at 7 AM and close at 8 PM.

I'm not registered--but I want to vote in November (about.com)

FAQs about Voting (League of Women Voters)

Where do I go to vote? (Pennsylvania Dept of State)

Smart Voters site (Judicial races)

Pittsburgh League of Young Voters (videos of folks running) The L of YV are our neighbors at in the Union Project. You can contact them at 412.728.2197 or at pittsburgh@indyvoter.org.

Who's running in which races (League of Women Voters)

Granted, these links are only helpful if you live near me, but the League of Women Voters and the League of Young Voters are excellent sources nationwide.


-----------

Go Vote!! It's your civic duty. If you can't vote, go register so you can in Novemba!

Sarah Louise and the Sad Giant Eagle

I call it the Sad Giant Eagle because it is clearly in an economically depressed area. I went there once, once upon a time, and decided never again. But today I needed a store and fast, so I went on the way home from the therapist's.

It wasn't so sad. I liked that the cashier and bag person both said to me, "No rush, we're a 24 hour store."

And I spent a LOT of money.

• I got a Britta filter for on your faucet--but my faucet is so OLD it doesn't fit.
• I got Zicam Cold/Flu--Nighttime. Well, and they didn't have any Daytime--I told you it was a sad store, so I just NOW woke up from a four hour nap. At first I was so scared that I missed the primaries...

So now, I must go back to GE, the one near me, which is a little less sad. And get the DAYTIME kind!!!

My therapist sorted this one out with me: I don't mind being sick because it allows me to be introverted without feeling guilty. Like, well, of course I can't go out, I'm sick! So I sit at home and read and watch movies...so somehow I need to incorporate more fun "introvert" stuff into my regular routine...

Especially since I have no more sick days left. The next time I get sick, I'll either have to call in dead or use vacation days (use vacation days is what I did this time.)

You've seen that mug, right? "I've used up all my sick-leave. I'm going to have to call in dead!"

Anyways, Ugh.

Friendship, it's a perfect blendship...

When I was a girl (that sounds so weird, but I AM 35) I read a book. It might have been called Best Friends. It was unfortunately weeded from my collection at one point. (Darn the transient life of a diplomat's daughter--my mother paid me 50 cents for every trash can filled.) The story went something like this: the two girls were close and then the one girl moved and gained new friendships. The left behind girl (it was in the same town, so they still went to the same school, I think) couldn't understand. The girl who moved said, "I don't have best friends anymore, I like having more than one friend." Eventually the left behind girl understood, gained new friends of her own, and they all lived happily ever after. I miss that book.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about friends lately. Well, and there's been a lot to think about.

Do I cling? Do I cause folks to run for the hills? (Probably--hyper-loneliness does that.)

Do others cling? Do I run for the hills from them? (Oh yes!) (Did I mention I'm an introvert?)

What of relatives--how do you keep the relationships going in between the weddings and funerals? (Not an easy one.)

What place does money come in? If you have parties where people can buy things, does that scare them from accepting the invitation? Or do the people who come buy out of guilt? Or, do they happily buy because they needed what your party offered and they didn't have another venue for such purchases? (It's a mixed bag.)

How do you build a relationship with Ms. 2nd floor? One safety pin at a time, it seems. She called and didn't leave a message (Thank you, Caller ID) and when she called to return my call, it was to see if I had safety pins. Which I did.

I am not the perfect friend. I am an enigma. I have been hurt from the day that I realized Sheila stole things from me in first grade. A necklace, a bouncy ball. I have been the victim more often than the aggressor, but I have been known to ignore someone until they gave up trying. I also have been known to think that I have ruined something just because someone took three days to answer an email. I HATE conflict. I hate thinking I've been ignored or abandoned. I can be very high maintenance in this department. (See above, running for the hills...)

The trick, (if there is one) is to find the healthy friends. The people you like spending time with. Because you read the same books, or go to the same church. Because you both share a love for cows. The people who make you care, make you laugh. The people who live in your neighborhood. Whatever. But what you want is someone who will give and take. Granted, they sometimes will take more than their share, and you may find yourself giving way too much. (Ding! Ding!) My mother would say "It's like chips and dip: they don't always even out."

But I find the Camus quote on my bathroom wall a good ruler: Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

We all need space, every once and a while. It is up to us (the spaced out or the left out) to figure out when to build a bridge. It may be never. Some friendships are only for a season. But some, a precious few, are worth fighting for. Even those will be enigmas--how do you FIGHT for a friendship? So often the other party JUST WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE. And there's no bridge that will cross that chasm. So you wait.

Waiting, though it seems passive, is really a very good way to fight. It requires patience and a lot of introspection. You might find in the waiting that you don't want to wait anymore. That's okay too.

How goes that saying? "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was yours to begin with." Well, I don't believe that stock lock and barrel. Because I believe we have seasons. I have wonderful memories of friendships that only lasted a season. Just because that season has passed, I don't need to think we never were friends. But, the letting go is difficult, and if that loved one DOES return, there is hope for renewal.

Sometimes renewal means wrecking what was there before and building an entirely new relationship. That's okay too.

I realize I'm rambling and mixing my metaphors and if someone was paying me to write this, I'd go through a few more drafts.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to be healthy. I'm trying to reach out and give space. I'm trying to figure out who are the people that make me laugh and cry for the right reasons. And I'm trying to figure out who I should just call up and say, "Do you want to have a cup of tea?" (Or a beer, or a walk...)

Because a lot of people are getting pregnant, or getting married, or moving out of state. And having babies. And life goes on. If I wait for the "perfect time" to ask someone to be my friend, my chance may be gone. And my chance might already be gone--some people don't want to be friends. They may have too much going on in their lives. They may want to just be alone. They may be moving and know they won't be good at keeping in touch. There may be people who only want to be friends once in a blue moon for breakfast at McDonalds. There may be friends who dream dreams and then their life changes and they move on and you feel lost, holding half the dream.

I'm learning to let go. I'm also learning how to hold on.

There are people out of my reach. And there are people I don't know HOW to reach. But I'd be a fool to not keep on trying to figure out who are the people I can reach and then try to reach out to them. I'm not perfect, but I make really good quiche.

(There, doesn't that sound like a commencement speech or something in an inspirational book about "How to be friendly"?) It's really just me, trying to sort out my brain. All this writing has made me HUNGRY.

What I gave her on Mother's Day, and what she gave me

So...I didn't go dahn South. And my mother was so happy--it gave her an extra day to clean the guest room for their house guests that arrive tomorrow. And I was happy--I slept until eleven this morning. ELEVEN!! (Well, I have this cold, see, and I didn't take a single nap yesterday...)

At one p.m., I called and "all circuits were busy." I guess everyone else had the same idea. At 3, when I did get through, I told her, it was a "Poland moment." (When I would dial seventeen times, praying in the phone booth in the hall at my dorm to get through.)

She said, "You must have ordered this beautiful day." I did, I told her. It's beautiful here too.

Some of my favorite people don't have that privelege. Of calling their mama today. And that makes me want to weep.

Some of us want so badly to be mamas but we haven't met their daddies yet.

I say "Happy Mother's Day" to everyone as if it's a Valentine greeting. Because we are all each others mothers and each others children. When my mama was far away in Poland and I was a freshman and sophomomore and junior in college, I had stand-in mamas. At least two of those women now are gone. I can't even say thank you to them today if I wanted to.

Ah yes, it's that Sarah Louise, life of the party, Miss Pollyanna.

Erin, over at Biscotti Brain, gave us wanna-bees or wishing it was different a real send-up. Thanks, dear.

And Happy Mother's Day to all yins, because whether you are one or not, we all have one thing in common: We had a mother.

Poetry circa 1988--updated

One of the tasks I've set before me is to clean out my files so as to get ready for the purging of the hard drive for the bringing it on-ness of Windows XP. I found this update of a poem I published in the H.S. Lit Mag my junior year. Then it was called "The Answering Machine." Some of the words are changed, as has the "you."

Voice Mail

Amid all the junk on my desk:
Clippings from magazines,
Two empty glasses
Eight CD cases, three pens
Too many keys on a blue key ring
Scissors and a paperback copy of 1984;
I found your letter.
It told of your happiness
Of being back home
Of the joys of springtime
In the country
But then I read between the lines—
I was sorry I did
For here I saw the piles on your desk too.
Unopened bills
Your mom’s rosary beads
As the phone rings, I prepare my thoughts:
I read your letter,
That’s why I called.
I called to say I care,
I need you, I miss your
Sunshiny smile.
“…please leave your name,
number and a short message at the
Beeeep!”
“Kay, this is Sue…call me back.”
My speech, diminished to seven words.

Which is basically how I feel about answering machines/voice mail. I rarely reveal myself on them, I prefer to talk to the person. Mostly, even if my world has caved in, I don't want my friend's husbands to know, or for my friends to worry, so I cheerily say, "Hope all yins are healthy, we'll talk soon."

Some great librarian videos...

Okay, so it's official. I'm on a "got a cold/vacation" which is good, since "I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead" applies to me. After Lily got over her, "Why aren't you going to Winchester, it's just a cold" she invited me to go see The Emperor's New Clothing at Pittsburgh Playhouse Jr. KEWL. Since she works for Point Park, we'll get in free or for a dollar. NICE!

So I've been feeling remiss about reporting on the library side of my life and what better way (busman's holiday) to do so but by sharing some new YouTubes?

Got this one from Jessamyn, Queen of Librarians. Watch for her sign...



Got this one from Adrienne, someone who commented on Fuse #8 (did you know she vowed to post one children's book review per DAY??)



and this one just makes me giggle...



Wow--You Tube must have fixed something since Christmas. I was sure I was going to have to fix some HTML. Anyways, hope you liked the flix.

Mary, Mary, how contrary, how does your garden grow?

Tulips are gone now. I've been considering flowers on the edge, not sure if it's a "notify the landlord" issue, since he's the one that mows the lawn. But I didn't ask him about the six or so tulips I planted when I was in Library School that still bloom yearly.

I'm quite contrary, actually. Bored. I should be on the open road, listening to an audio of a Maisie Dobbs mystery, ready to reunite with my mother and father. Instead, I slept all morning, and went to McD's for lunch, picked up some things in Oakland (yes, I had a blood test--my Dr. doubts that my cold is related to the Tegretol increase, but he humored hypochondriac me.) So I guess I actually picked up some things (more ovulation wands--see my other blog) and dropped others off (a few vials of blood). Anywho. I went to Walgreens and dropped some cash on new toothbrushes and Zicam. I didn't know there was a swab kind--the Cold Eeze lozenges strictly forbid an empty stomach and no citrus within a half hour. The nose swabs don't come with this warning, woo hoo! So I also bought V-8 and OJ. I considered going to the library but decided against it. Which is a good thing, since by then it was early rush hour. (I forget about stuff like that.)

So I'm home, and I think I might actually try for another nap. Yes, at 5pm, Sarah Louise is considering an evening snooze. Well, I had lunch around 2pm, and hunger seems to have been cut off due to the cold, so I'll wake up around 7 and eat something...

Did I mention how much I abhor colds? I do. But hey, at Walgreens I got a Coke slush drink, so I guess this day hasn't been ALL bad.

So...suck your toe, all the way to Mexico....

Do we ever know as children that all the things we sing song have history, and some have slurs?

I sure didn't.

I remember this one:

That's life.

What's life?

A magazine.

Where do you get it?

At the corner store (like I had ever seen a corner store in my life at this point)

How much does it cost?

Fifty cents. (like a magazine ever cost that...well, maybe, but not in my magazine buying years)

I don't have that.

That's life.

What's life?

and so on until you can't stand it anymore.

So the deed is done. Why do I have the best conversations with my folks when I'm telling them I'm NOT coming down to see them? My dad and I must have talked for close to an hour, about the Bible (Psalms, Revelation, the Inter-testimentary times, how he's doing the Bible in a Year with the Message translation...) about family stuff, about Tulip Time (I will get there, one of these years....)

So I'm feeling better psychikly (is that even a word) but my body aches. Which means I have to report to my psychiatrist. (It's a side effect of Tegretol.) Ugh.

I think I'll watch the rest of whatever Volume this is of Season Four. I'm grateful that I'm in my 30s. I don't think I would understand the nuances of the humor of SATC if I hadn't had, if my friends hadn't had the life experiences we've had.

Off to email the psychiatrist. BUT I DON'T HAVE A FEVER.* This is good. And it could just be I'm worn out, because, well, I've been running.

*I have the AC running. I suppose I could have a fever and not know it?

Oh, internets...or Sarah Louise shows her whining muscles in blogland

So, I'm in the crying jags place. I cried when Miranda got pregnant. I cried when she didn't have an abortion and Charlotte said, "We're having a baby?" (The SATC fans will get it.)

And now I'm thinking it's more prudent to stay home than to go away this weekend. To work a half day on Friday and Saturday and to take Monday off. (Or some combination of that.) Because Tuesday (the polls) will be hard. I mean, I've been getting up at 8 a.m. and Tuesday I have to BE THERE at six a.m.

We had a phone fight, the 'rents and me, mostly because we're all stressed about different things. I watched the rest of the SATC episodes left on the video and started an email to the 'rents. Then I started crying. Then I called Mama. Mama stays up late with her schoolwork, so she was still up just now. She conceded that it would not be a relaxing weekend. Which is what I need. I need some peace and quiet. I need to be able to sleep in. Going to Sis's graduation and then church on Sunday morning and then deciding if I'm leaving Sunday or Monday....

So I'm going to sleep on it. I hate to disappoint Sis, but I would hardly see her--she's spending Friday night in Winchester, and then Saturday--well, graduation is like a wedding. You don't really SEE the person you're celebrating.

So I think I'll be staying in da Burgh. Because I haven't even started packing (well, the pills are ready.)

It would be nice to have a day to myself, to clean this apartment. To veg. To just read. To SHOP! I have coming up wedding showers, weddings, other stuff. (One wedding shower is SOON, and I only found out about it today--the bride and groom pushed up the date.)

And my throat is sore. Which could be allergies OR a scary side effect from Tegretol. (You know, the kind where it says, Tell your doctor if...)

Time to pop "You've got mail" into the VCR and slip into dreamland.

Oh, did I mention that today alone, I have fixed brakes to the tune of $250 and a temporary crown on my tooth, which will cost about that once it is a real crown??

Oh, it's that song, "they just show on up with their big heart, you find out who your friends are..." I really am a country music girl, I just like living in the city.

G'nite. I hope I can sleep...

I've learned a few things...

I can buy my own air filter and wiper blades and save like $30 bucks. Midas just called, my car will be ready around 1pm. Which means I can go see the dentist (something's different, my tongue keeps going over this one area...) at 1:30 and be at the reference desk at 2pm.

Good thing I saved my frozen dinner--I'll have it for lunch!!

Oh, and **blank stare, what was that thought...** oh! I wrote something over ater b my othlog! (that's "at my other blog"--the computer did something and I thought it looked cute and exactly where I am--blank stare, blank stare)

It's 12:00 somewhere, let's chow!

Better living through chemistry...

So last week we decreased the Zoloft cuz I was doing things like staying up til 4:30 am and cleaning like a maniac. Cleaning, by itself, isn't bad, but there's a point where it becomes unhealthy. And other stuff, like I could feel my skin--ugh.

Then, my hormones came for a visit and I turned all dark and stormy MIXED with the "let's dust all surfaces!" (Yes, it's called "mixed state.")

Then I had mornings like today, where I willfully got back under the covers and read my book with the Today show on in the background and finally coerced myself to go to work.

So now we're increasing the Tegretol, tomorrow. So hopefully the self-loathing and guilt and crying and stuff will calm down.

I'll keep yins posted--but I bet you figured that by now.

On the good side, I got to see Eileen tonight--she is one of my favorite peeps. Yes, the Open Door folk were over at the Stiver-Stevens-Bells discussing "Reconciliation." And we might get to play soccer!! (Yes, I played soccer, once upon a time.) (For a very short time.) (Far far away.)

G'nite. I'm gonna see if anyone's home at 304 Nut St.

The Dark Side of Sarah Louise...

This weekend, I braved the masses and went to see the third Spiderman movie. In it, Peter Parker's Spiderman suit goes black and we are introduced to the "darker side of Spiderman."

Weeks ago, talking to a friend, she said she wasn't really interested in seeing the "darker side."

The movie in so many ways mirrored my life that it was hard to see it on the screen. Peter betrays MJ, MJ betrays Peter, Eddie betrays them both, the guy who killed Ben Parker comes back and Peter has a face to face with him, where Peter admits, "I've done a lot of bad things too."

This movie did not feature the fairy tale wedding on the hill that I guess I expected of the third Spiderman. I think there is easily room for a Spiderman IV.

Against good advice from therapists, friends, parents, again and again, I push the limits. I reach out to people with a barbed hand. I remember a book about borderline personalities that lived in the Self Help department when I worked at Fox Books. It was a red paperback called, "I hate you, don't leave me."

There's the bumper sticker we've all seen: "Hurt people hurt people."

Bumper sticker wisdom. Ah yes.

We come so close to reconciliation and then we can't help but say, "remember when you said such and such?" We can't help but take the knife in the back and twist it, just a little more. If I make you squirm, will you still like me?

I have no easy answers. What is it that Paul famously said, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15)

Clay feet. I have 'em. I am so NOT made of "sugar and spice and everything nice..."

And yet, there are a few folks who take all my crap and still love me. To those few, I say a big THANKS.

Ugh

It's taken me this long to figure it out--I don't have Monday blues (duh, it's my day off.) But Tuesday blues figure big in the Louise household.

But, I'm reading Paula Marantz Cohen's new book, Jane Austen in Scarsdale. It gives tribute to my favorite Jane book, Persuasion.

Okay, I guess I'll find some shoes and hoof it to my job. (Which, I do love, btw.)

So clever...or not....

So, I thought up a new labeling system, but it might have some snags, so stay posted.

Reading the sign on my desk...

It's been weeks since I've had any sort of decent conversation with any of the residents of 304 Nut St. in Virginia. (Or at least in my mind a long time.) I left a message last night that was something like "I'm so exhausted." I left a message earlier this week on Sis's cell, "I can't find my watch! I can't find my watch!*"

Did anyone call me back? Email me a NYT article on how to sort your underwear drawer so that you don't misplace watches or bras...

So when I picked up the phone, to call my family (the ones who had not called me...) I was ready to be snarky. "Don't you love me anymore???" And then I remembered that sign on my desk, that Bonhoeffer quote:

"The person who loves their dream of community (read: family) will destroy community (or their family) but the person who loves those around them will create community."

So when my dad answered and right away wanted to know how I was getting down South for Mother's Day, not even, how are you, daughter, we got your message, I took a deep breath and discussed transportation arrangements.

We chatted a bit, about movies: I catalogued a series of Polish films based on the 10 commandments (my 'rents lived in Poland for three years as the iron curtain dissolved). (The series of ten movies is called The Decalogue.) I told him I just finished watching Bobby. He told me about the happenings at their church, where my 'rents are really doing everything: nursery, ushering, Sunday School, clean up from communion...and the Sunday School is the hardest--it's a series on caring for our creation, not a popular topic, and on the weeks they weren't on field trips, my parents have been met with antagonism. Tomorrow is the last class.

Mom and Sis were at TJ Maxx shopping for a dress for graduation--yes, Sis graduates next weekend. And the following week is the Primaries, and that weekend is BJ's graduation party from Seminary (woo hoo) and the following weekend I have a wedding. Holy Calendar squares, Batman, I've got a busy month!! And I think I better be looking at my dresses...

I am determined to somewhat make this blog a little less eclectic and a little more focused--maybe a day of the week theme. Like Monday: anything, since it's my day off. Tuesday: Cataloguing, Wednesday, Kids stuff, Thursday, librarianship of any sort, Friday, TGIF, so something fun, and Saturday, more cataloguing, and Sunday, something spiritual.

Knowing me, I won't follow this to a T, and I may scrap the whole idea, but I really have not been following the kidlit blogs AT ALL and it makes me sad. Maybe more what I need is a reading schedule--and my reading would then influence my writing...

Ah really don't know.

But here's a tidbit: today there was a veteran selling poppies outside the Giant Eagle. I bought one on my way back to the car, and told him my grandfather was a Navy Chaplin. The veteran selling the poppies said he'd been in Korea and it occurred to me that yes, the WWII veterans would be very old by now. Wocka-Poppa (my pop-pop) died a year before I was born, and my Grandpa died when I was a senior in college, so in my mind, they are as young as they were the day they died. (Not so young, but younger than if they were still living--my grandma, who died two years ago, was 99 1/2.) I tied the poppy to the "Ich Liebe Dich/I love You" ornament that I have hanging off my rear view mirror. I'll take a picture.

But now, Internets, it is time to get ready for bed. I'm zonked.
______________
*I suppose it is funnier with the actual thing I couldn't find, which was a bra.

Timid? Moi? Not commenting? Moi? Yes, it's true...

So I've had a really bizarre week. I'm trying to be less "kiss and tell" on ze blog (or rather, no kisses and tell") but Internets, this was the week of all kinds of mood swings and introvert sirens blaring and surprise emails and...I'm exhausted.

So I've noticed something. I have been visiting your blogs but I'll start a comment and then think it's stupid and erase it.

AND I STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO THE POST OFFICE! Yesterday, when I went to the Oakland Main Carnegie, the Post Office has been closed there. And then I didn't have time to go...so MONDAY. Which will be a lovely day of appointments:

8:45 Chiro
11:00 Therapist
3:00 Psychiatrist
7:00 Prayer Mtg.

I might go see Spiderman 3 tomorrow. No clue if it will be sold out.

I've got to find more interesting things to blog about. I'm just exhausted and feeling trapped and ugh. I was in a groove around 11, but that groove has come and GONE. Janice and I are staying a little late (I'm not clear if it's 5:30 or 6, but I need the hours, so we'll flex.)

A librarian story? Well, I check Dewey numbers. We mostly get them from the CIP data (fancy abbreviation for the info on the t.p. verso or the copyright page.) I double check to make sure they're accurate, fit our collection, etc.

So the latest Bill Geist book (something about small town America) comes across my desk, and the number is like 8 digits beyond the decimal point (too many, dear Internets!).

This was the number: 973.924020'7. Now, 973 is for USA (9 is geography, 7 is the Americas, 3 is the US of A.) Generally, if you don't have zeros after the 973, you're talking about a president. Sure enough, the Bill Geist book about Small Towns (Way off the Road) is classed under Richard Milhaus Nixon. (Well, at least the .924 part is.) (Who knows what the other numbers were supposed to be for...)

I did some research, sent an email to the librarians upstairs, suggesting two possible numbers for the book. One of them called me and said, use the 973 one, but why aren't you using the one in the CIP? It took nearly every inch to say in a calm tone of voice, "Because the book would be classed under NIXON!!"

And wouldn't you know, Bill Geist and Bill Bryson, who both wrote books on Small Towns, will be separated. Because Bill Bryson's book (The Lost Continent: travels in small-town America) is classed under 917.3. (9 for geography, 1 for travel, 7 for America, 3 for USA.)

YOUR LIBRARY TIP OF THE DAY: if you want to have a 973 book not be about a president, you have to make sure you add the right amount of zeroes. So Bill Geist will be found in 973.009, which is the geography of the USA.

Aren't you glad you stopped by?

Oh, and in grocery store news, I scored a copy of a VHS of Season 4, Vol. 3 of Sex and the City. Who knows what kind of condition it's in, but for $1.99, I'll take a chance.

Oh, it's quiet... (updated)

apparently, it's not Nan's Saturday...anyways. And apparently Esther's daughter and son-in-law are in town, so she's not here.

MUST I WORK?

It's not so bad...

What day is it????

So I just called into work, as I overslept and will be late. I figured I'd get Nan. No, I got Jill. All of a sudden, even though in my heart of hearts I knew it was Saturday, I said, "Wait, what day is it?" (Because I never work with Jill and she hardly ever works the weekend.)

So now I know that I'm not going to a quiet office (part of why I like Saturdays, it's just Janice and I most of the time, sometimes Nan, sometimes our boss Esther.)

And I'm a little shell-shocked anyways--this has been QUITE a week.

Say special prayers for Paula's Dale--he's shipping out soon.

Say a thank you and continued healing for Blackbird's K--he's doing fine.

***************

Apparently I have a very rich imagination--in my dreams, I reunited with both college roommates and was living on what sort of looked like the South Side slopes and I found $100 in the carpet. Oh, and Samantha from Sex and the City was one of my roommates. And I lived walking distance from a movie theatre and a bookstore but both were closed, as it was early in the day. But I was going to go see the SATC movie (another fiction of my dream.)

**************

Nothing against people in general, but now I do not want to go in to work. All my introvert sirens were at high keen last night, so before I went to a BBQ at Amy and Cameron's, I had dinner at Wendy's and finished my book. Then I went to the BBQ, which was lovely, Amy's dad was the reason for the event and he was quite nice. (He's in town from California.)

Well, off I go. And I told Jill 9:30 or 9:45 and that's like 5 minutes from now. Oh look, more dust. Janice won't be in until after 1:00--it's soccer season.

I'm going...

In which Sarah Louise shares some links, in the hopes that you will share some books...

Every once in a while, my friend Susan Fry or one of her relatives is in the newspaper. I'm not kidding. Her niece was once the model for a Walmart photo ad.

Now, not for nothing, a picture of my own darling sister at a very young age was in the window of a Tegucigalpa photographer, I guess sort of as a model, but I think Susan has topped me again and again.

So...a Girl Scout in her hometown of Pepperell, MA is sending books to a school in the wake of Katrina...here's the lead from the newspaper article: "There is a school in Chalmette, La., with a library Emily Batchelder has never seen, but she's got a pretty good idea it doesn't have enough books."

Here's a link to the article.

In it, you learn that Susan Fry, with her new Usborne business, has partnered with Emily to send more books to the kids in Chalmette. I just bought a copy of the 12 Dancing Princesses, one of my favorite fairy tales. The shipping is free if you have it sent to Chalmette, and you can even leave a gift note that will show up on the invoice.

Plus, Usborne books are really great. So you can order them for your own kids. I think you have to pay for shipping to your own house, but somehow Usborne is still donating money if you buy them for your own kids...read the article.

Susan and I met in Chemistry class, our junior year of high school, two days before her niece was born. The first words I remember her saying were, "My sister's having a baby!" And two days later, "My sister had her baby!" Her mom once butchered my last name, and we all had a good laugh. When I had chicken pox (at the ripe age of 20), and my parents were in Poland, it was Susan's mom who drove me back to college. (Well, I didn't know it was chicken pox...oh that's a story for another day.) Anyways, we have history, and I think this is a trés cool thing that she's doing here.

Here's a link to buy a book (or books).

And with that, I'm off to the Internet Safety thing a ma jig! Ciao!

I couldn't stand it anymore, I shut the TV off...

It's that frizzy haired film critic on Today. He was slamming Spiderman 3. Now, the one good thing is that if he hated it, I know I'll love it, but if I watch Today on Friday when he gives his film moment (too long) I almost always shut the TV off.

I should go for a walk.

But you know, Matt is in Capetown, South Africa today. So I'll continue to browse my email.

I bet he's done by now. The good bit is that I got to see more footage from the film. Oooooh, how I hate that frizzy haired man!!!

Where's Matt? (and SL continues to watch Today...)

I guessed Beijing--the clue was something about hosting the world. Yeah, NO.

Dubai. Emily's ex is doing a lot of work there. Oh, and soon, Em is on her way to Korea. I'll shoot her an email today or tomorrow.

Oh, and the Lewis twins lived there. I should finally email some pictures... (not of Dubai--I have some pictures from when Livia was here (yes, like in August) that I still haven't sent out.

I figured out when I'm going to the Post Office--there's one inside the Carnegie Main Library, where I'll be Friday for an Internet Safety forum.

Queen Rania of Jordan (yes, she has her own website!) is talking to Meredith about micro-lending and village banks. "Harnessing social momentum." This is the coolest concept ever--women are loaned like $100 and and they can buy some chickens and start a small business selling eggs and eventually chickens...it is SO amazing.

Memory is like a purse...

...if it be over-full that it cannot shut, all will drop out of it. Take heed of a gluttonous curiosity to feed on many things, lest the greediness of the appetite of thy memory spoil the digestion thereof. (Thomas Fuller)

This was the only purse specific quote I could find that I liked. Case in point, the last time I did a "purse post" I used the dictionary definition.

Note to self: next time save the google search and just use the Roget's thesauraus entry.


My new purse, full to the gills. Target, $24.99

My lovely OCLC pin that says Cataloguing is a public Service/Reference is a public service.

My wallet, purchased YEARS ago. Yet, they match! Looky that! And, this wallet had been lost in the abyss of my garret for many moons, so the aquisition of a matching purse is even sweeter as I reaquaint myself with my wallet.

80 cents at the library shop, read it and weep!! (Or watch it and guffaw!)

My last tulips of the season.