Sunday, September 30, 2012

Tweeting my way to a post...

Preface, in 140 characters or fewer, tweets from this morning.

Is every woman in love with Booth and want to be Dr. Brennan or is it just me?

Realizing as I watch Bones Season 5 that I wasn't so much in love with the boy as I was in love with the IDEA of him.

And no way was he ever in love with more than the idea of me b/c we never shared enough of each other. 


Deep thoughts for a Sunday morning? I have been watching Bones exclusively...even the shard of Friends the other night didn't appeal, and I DID NOT like Elementary. The idea of Sherlock Holmes as a junkie in recovery that needs a handler? I admit I have never read the original books, but I am too neurotic myself to enjoy watching neurotic people for entertainment.

I'm still in the grieving in an alternate world of research for my poster session--TUESDAY and watching, like I said, exclusively, Bones. My therapist agrees that if I'm not watching any other TV that 3 episodes a day it is not unhealthy. (Thank God!)

(I did watch 4 yesterday, but I'm in the midst of a medication change. We went up on my antidepressant dosage b/c I was depressed. I took the dose back down on Friday morning b/c I was exhibiting "high risk" behaviors.) I use the quotes b/c I've never been one to spend thousands of dollars on shoes while manic. But I spent over $8 in the library's book store this week, $8 I really didn't have for magazines I really didn't need. (It wasn't ALL magazines, I did score a very nice messenger bag which will be great for carrying my laptop to the conference.) Friday morning, I called people cute on Twitter. I said, "I want to eat you up" to someone. And, thanks to my dear friend Gabrielle, of Hormonology fame, I was able to assess, in the shower, that oh! I'm in week 3. I should be feeling grumpy, not "You're so cute, I could eat you up."

So, on Friday, I modulated my meds. Which meant that I was in a mixed state both yesterday and Friday. Today I need to focus on the poster. (Which basically means, after this blog post, it doesn't matter what my mood is, I have to power through.) More on that once I'm done...I promise a more complete post later this week. To me, there is something wonderful about Sunday being the first day of my week. I start the week with Sunday and Monday as my days off, which is why I HATE calendars that use Monday as the first day of the week and give Saturday/Sunday teeny tiny boxes, as if you couldn't have anything important enough to write there.

I kicked, well, tush, yesterday at work. While I did spend the morning mostly gabbing with our wonderful Saturday volunteer, in the afternoon I knocked out over 15 Blu-rays. And that's impressive, because a lot of Blu-ray records are incomplete or non-existent. I generally have to do some original cataloging for every third record. I admit that my work was not up to the standards of my former boss, but a Blu-ray is NOT a facsimile of a Martin Luther book and I got the record (and the item, which is in high demand) out. Other librarians can come along and tweak the record I worked on, that's why it's a cooperative cataloging system. Haters gonna hate, but I mostly love OCLC, without it, my work would be much more gnashing of teeth than it already is.

I've gotten into a rhythm of work on Saturdays without Jean. Mornings, I talk with our volunteer Jenny, afternoons, I knock out Blu-rays, and with my last 20 minutes, I check to see which DVDs are in the system, such that any of the library assistants could just add the items to the record. This rhythm will likely chance once we are done with Jennifer's order (yes, a lot of women with J names), but for now, this work rhythm will last for at least a few more weeks, since we don't even have the Barbie videos that she ordered.

I live my life out in stories, and relationships. So it follows that I learn from stories, and from the relationships found therein. As much as I do NOT like the character of Daisy Wick, I learn from her relationship with Lance Sweets that the boy and I were not well matched. Intellectually, maybe, but emotionally not at all! And while Booth and Brennan are not a match intellectually or emotionally, they both seek to learn more about the other's process.

I think the next guy I date should be someone who reads fiction. I haven't dated a fiction reader since the last millennium. Max did read a fiction book I recommended, but we never discussed it. I'm looking for someone who I can talk to about stories. Because above all else, I traffic in stories.

Thanks for tagging along into this's more "journally" than I like to set out as a finished product.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"

(My mother.)

ARGH. I so wish I was the kind of person that folks wanted to help. What I mean by that is, that I could be the sort of person that could talk to a car salesman who didn't get the detailing done on my car (there are ASHES still in the ashtray) and say, "oh, (dripping with honey), I'm sure you just want to double check to see if this was taken care of."

Meanwhile, I'm "your guys didn't do it, and I'm going out of town this weekend, I need it taken care of, and now, or tomorrow."

This is the summer of SQUEEZE SARAH LOUISE.

I don't have 2 days to play phone tag and be nice. And I don't even have my phone ON right now because I had one bar of battery. (Sometimes if I turn it off and then turn it back on, I get another bar back.)

It's a goal, then. Become the kind of person that is grace under fire. Right now, I just feel like I'm on fire, and "stop, drop, and roll" isn't doing the job.

"But life is good, right?" my mother would interrupt RIGHT HERE.

Yes. Life is good. I got paid today, I have food at home, I have a car (albeit one that needs new rotors), I have a roof over my head, and I have good friends, and a great family. I had a WONDERFUL week off at the Lake, so wonderful. I have never in my life needed a vacation as much as I did this year and for the first time in my life I didn't want to go home when it was time to go home. (I am weird that way. When vacation is over, my body clock/GPS says "home, take me home.") But not this time. Can't I just STAY gone for a little bit longer?

Well, there's a stack of books that need Dewey numbers to be checked, so if I have bad grammar, it's because I wrote this all at once, no major edits.

See you on the flip side. Or as another blogger once said, MTC (more to come.)