You know I am a bear with little brain when...

I spend my lunch in my office reading blogs. (and by office, I mean the non-cube farm I share with 5 other people who just happen to not be here today.)

And then, because someone commented on Jenny's blogiversary with the whole Monica/Chandler planeversary thing, I searched that.

[Monica has just given Chandler tix to Vegas for their anniversary] (thanks to Friends Café for the script)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: Do we have to?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Monica: Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Monica: But we can go, right?
Chandler: Yes.
Monica: Okay!

I just adore Monica when she gets all goofy like this.

Does anyone want to fly to Pittsburgh to help me with this Mother/Child thing? Let's see, tonight I have Bible Study, tomorrow morning I have to finish the questionairre for the Steering team for the OD, then go to work, then Friday I have to work, then Friday night I'm going to see Harry Potta!! Then Saturday, work, AND the Mother/Child thing, then a wedding after work. Yeah, and I need to get the bride and groom their gift. Which might not happen this week since I only got the invite on Tuesday.

Oh, and then next week I'm doing a storytime, plus it's Hot Dog Day at the library on Wednesday...I'm going bonkers.......................................................................I have 9 minutes left of lunch. Mayhap I'll go do something exciting like see if it's still raining outside.

The charmed life, or Sarah Louise goes bonkers...

So have I told you lately that I love you?

You, my place of employ? My boss did not bat an eyelash when I emailed her today to say that although it wasn't on the work calendar, I would be working on renovating a house during the day tomorrow.

You, Sally North Hills? Who fed me leftover spaghetti and smoozed the evening away--I did go in to work for about an hour which is all my pea brain could stand. I still have no clue how I'm administering the quiz component of the book quiz* on Saturday, but I have enough questions--about 30 per team if no other teams show up. (I now have four teams.) Sally fed me two plates of venison spaghetti, veggies (of course--cuz she's a mama) and we even picked raspberries in her backyard. Plus, she lent me long jeans for the work site since I don't have a pair that fits right now (I've been wearing my J. Jill capri jeans since before Montana--I seriously need to do some laundry.) And I helped her unload and load the dishwasher and lounged on her bed while she folded laundry...I feel SO relaxed right now, I could go to bed.

Which I should, as I'll be at a work site tomorrow at 7:30 (yes, a.m.).

Oh, and did I mention that one of the weddings that I thought I wasn't invited to, the bride merely forgot to mail my invitation and was actually wondering WHY I hadn't responded yet--oops! So on top of everything else, I have a wedding on Saturday. So this week is jam-packed!! (But with nice things. And I will go to the reception for this wedding, as I have eschewed them all summer.) (Which it feels nice to feel that a wedding reception won't be a soul carving experience--I suppose it still could-might, but I'm feeling okay about things right now, and if I can hold onto that until Saturday...)

The invitation thing reminds me of the time on "Friends" when Joey convinced Monica to invite his parents to her wedding and had her call them up to personally invite them. "Tell them it got lost at the post office--they hate the post office. Oh, and the Irish." So, Monica gets on and says, "It must have gotten lost in the mail--U.S. Post office, they should call it the U.S. Lost office! What are they, Irish?"

Well, it's ten, I am going to get ready and hit the hay.

___________
*Officially the Mother-Child Smackdown.

Well, I didn't have anything on that topic, so I went another way...

(Phoebe Buffet, from Friends)

So in the interest of writing about things OTHER than my social life or angst, I offer this: a blog post from Venice. (No, I'm not in Venice--would that be so!, but a blogger for the NYT is.)

Read on, dearies.

I may rant on the other blog later today.

Oh, and this just in: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is now on Thursdays. My Mary Kay consultant emailed me. I missed it, but I can watch it online at nbc.com.

"Somebody's gonna drop everything, Run out and crank up their car..."

Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who you're friends are

(Tracy Lawrence, "Find out who your friends are")

Yes, I like country music. You got a problem with that??

So....Guess who locked her keys in her car? When I called her, EE Sally said, if you call Triple A, you'll waste a lot of time, I'll come. I was on my way home, parked at the Taco Bell, in Etna, and she is the only person with an extra set of my car keys, so I did call her first, saying, first, "I can call Triple A." She said, "I'll rescue you."

Which, she did, and then I stood outside my unlocked car and she sat in hers and we talked about random things like why Peabody HS had their prom on a school night...

**************

Also, thank you for all the comments and emails. I've started listening to It's called a breakup because it's broken (which is a much better book than He's just not into you) and I think my heart is moving on.

So I'm just a simple gal, trying to figure out how to not whine too much and make this relevant but still be me, which is smart but smarting, and not really interested in hearing breastfeeding stories this week.

In other news, NH Sally said (as we sat on her terrace in the shade over lunch), she'll plan my wedding shower and we'll have sangria and we'll play the "mawiage" scene from The Princess Bride. Wow, I'm excited about that. Now I just need to find a man...*

(which for some reason made me think of Monica Geller and her jam plan and then her baby plan.)

*(which made PJ at work grab her hands over her mouth...) (She's often apt to say that the only reason they're still married is laziness--she's too lazy and he never gets rid of anything.)

Bed. I think it's time to go to bed.

Oh, she's got you running errands, you know, picking up wedding dresses... Wah-pah!

(for the rest of this hilarious sequence from Friends, go here.)

There are days like these: where all I can think about is the injustice of Big marrying the young Natasha. Or Ross marrying Emily. Or Charlotte moaning, “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen, where is he??” These are the days when I want to walk into TV-Land and live in “The one with all the wedding dresses."

Today I don’t even want a date, or even a kiss. I want division of labor. Someone else to drop off the laundry at Fluff and Fold, or another pair of eyes to help me find my watch or a clean shirt (found both, thanks!). Someone else to drop the car for an oil change and remember to tell the guy high mileage oil (I forgot.) But I did have a coupon, woo hoo!

(And if you're chomping at the bit to comment about how your hubbies don't help, save your breath. Today is not the day to mess with me!! I'm in the middle of UMS--ugly mood swings--and not to be trifled with.)

So I indulged in a little retail therapy. A new purse (some women have shoes, I have purses.) Well…I have both. But when everything feels swollen and you don’t want anyone to TOUCH you unless it’s a hug, you know better than to try on shoes at Target. So I got a new bag. Because when EE Sally called me to see if I could watch the boys in a few weeks I couldn't find my phone before it stopped ringing. And wouldn’t you know, my new bag matches my wallet. I’ll post pictures anon.

Am enjoying Much Ado about Jessie Kaplan. The mixture of planning the daughter's bat mitvah, the sister's dating life...it's fun. Although, (not that it matters, it's just interesting) Cohen seems to love using name brands for things. It's not going shopping for new glasses, it's going to William Sonoma. It's not going to pick a bra for daughter, it's going to Marshalls. (Do authors get paid for product placement?)

Oh, and tomorrow starts the next session of Mother Goose. I love the program, but it is a bear to get me to work by 9 a.m.

Motivation...

So as soon as I discovered that my apartment is making me sneeze b/c I haven't dusted in...well, let's just say, a very very very very long time, I turned into a dusting queen. I have organized my videos into regular movies and taped TV. Ugh. I have a lot of taped TV. The stuff I want to keep is any episodes I might have of Cosby. Not The Cosby Show, where Bill is Dr. Huxtable, but Cosby, where he plays (still married to Phylicia Rashad) Hilton Lucas. Oh how I love this show. It played on some network for 4 years and I didn't understand it then. But when I lived in Virginia with the folks, it was syndicated and came on around dinner and all of a sudden it was my motivation through the day. I'm telling you, the minute they make this into DVDs (nothing in the works, *sigh*) I'm buying all four seasons.

Doug E. Doug (Cool Runnings) plays the annoying neighbor and he is the best. Madeline Kahn plays Rashad's business partner and is amazing. She actually died while the show was on, and so there is a special episode where the actors (out of character) sit around and talk about what a great lady she was.

My apartment is so mired with clutter that it doesn't look like I made a lot of progress tonight, but believe me, I made a lot of progress. And now, I think it is time to go read or relax so I can get to sleep. Last night one o'clock came and went and I was oblivious, so hard at work de-cluttering was I. (Well, a few games of Free Cell, too...)

Oh, and all this whilst watching Disc 1 of Season 1 of Friends.

"So you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?"



About half of my real movies collection. Don't they look nice? I wonder how long they'll stay this way...

Learning to be me...

A few things:

Like Chandler, I use humor to disfuse situations. You will rarely find me posting about something of deepness without a tidbit at the end that disfuses it.

(That long pause--you didn't notice it?--was me looking for a good Chandler quote. What good is the Internet for if not for quotes from the bestest TV show ever, Friends?)

Okay, here's one:

Rachel: Guess what, GUESS WHAT?
Chandler: The fifth dentist finally caved and now they ALL recommend Trident?

I got it from imdb.com, the librarian's answer to "who was in that movie with that girl from 90210?"

See, I'm doing it again.

Last year at Lent, I had a journal. In the front, I had a quote from Soren Kierkegaard, "And now, with God's help, I shall become myself." I have to interject here that I've still not read any of Kierkegaard's books, I'm still relying on random quotes. Same with Camus. Maybe that should be my New Year's Resolution: to read Kierkegaaard and Camus.

Oh, did I get off track again?

This is one of those "experiment in writing" posts.

And I haven't had breakfast yet...

Well, anyways, tune in tomorrow, when I gather my brain cells once more to bring you the loveliness of my bloggy mind.

Oh here's a tidbit. It wasn't last year at Lent, it was this year. Except that my mind is still tuned to the academic calendar. Oh boy. I need breakfast.

Other things to do on days that Harry has you grumpy

Watch your taped episodes of Friends. Mostly they're lame, but I love that show, so whateve. (Gotta stop saying that!!)

However, every once in a while, you hit gold. Pure gold. As in "The one with all the wedding dresses."

You gotta visit imdb.com for the one of the best quotes, which features Chandler (Matthew Perry) saying "Wah-pah!"

Yeah, this having a cold thing isn't doing much for my continuity of thoughts.

Anyways, now they're doing "The one where Nana dies twice." Wikipedia has a great thing on the episode...oh the Internet is full of richness...

the one where Sarah Louise loves the one where...

So I came home and to my delight, baseball wasn't on, Sex and the City was! And now that I've seen the HBO goodbye montage, I knew that Berger was going to break up with Carrie on a Post-It, so today I got to see the episode where it happened and the episode where she got over it.

THEN, when things couldn't have been getting any better (five points if you do the Chandler voice), Friends was "The one with all the Wedding Dresses." Probably one of my top five favorite episodes. I haven't laughed like that and clapped my hands and laughed and clapped for a long time.

Oh it feels good to laugh.

I'm going to a charity event tonight. The tickets (plural) (two) are comps because I volunteered last year. I remember thinking then, this is cool, but I'd rather be with someone. Yeah. I wish that tonight too, but everyone (and I mean everyone) had other plans. Yeah, them too. Yep, asked her. Yes, asked him.

I generally do not mind going alone.

I go to movies alone. I go out to dinner alone. I go to First Fridays alone. I go to parties alone. But this is an event where I will probably know no one. And while watching a movie is something that doesn't really involve someone in the seat next to you (which is why I do not advocate it for first or second dates), and sitting in a restaurant alone can be fixed nicely with a book, going to a charity function where most people have paid the entry fee can be a little daunting. Especially when you have cajoled your single male friends almost to the point of embarassment and know you will have to face them at some point in the future. (Ugh.) Especially since last year I only saw one person I knew. (I'll have you know I just deleted three extremely catty but hysterically funny sentences.)

(You never know who reads this, and besides, I wouldn't want people talking about me that way...am I too nice to be comic?)

So I'll get dolled up and I'll have fun. It is, after all, the event of the year. And I'm getting in FREE! It starts at 9, so I even actually have time to watch Murderball, which is overdue at the library, with 18 holds. If you're one of those people waiting, I'll return it Monday, I promise!

Oh, and if you're looking for a great chick-lit mystery, Size Twelve isn't Fat is a wonderful choice. Meg Cabot is a writing genius. I hope she never stops writing. (Wasn't it only seven years ago I was saying that about Elinor Lipman?)

Anyways, Happy Father's Day, everyone.

"We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.

"Even longer," answered Pooh. (AA Milne)

Well folks, I had plans for a nice long post detailing stuff and things, but it's already almost 8 and I have to be at the UP at 8:30. So, quickly:

• Thanks to all for wishing me well re: health. No, I have no updates (not even from the gyn)except to say I still have the cough, and um *other* issues. Email me if you really want to know. Tomorrow I really am resting (as opposed to last Sunday, where I told you I was gonna and ended up spending the day in whirlwind social activity.)
• Blogger will be out at 8:43 PST. Read more here. Ugh.

Last night I went to a goodbye party for a friend who will still be in town til July 17. So this was just the first goodbye. But I will miss him. He and his wife are among the first friends I got to know when I came back to Pittsburgh for grad school. We were all a part of a Bible Study that in the past 4 years has morphed into at least two other Bible Studies. At least three of the men who were single when we started are now married. At least one of the girls is now dating. It took me two episodes of Friends, one episode of Frasier, and a Seinfeld stand-up joke to finally get my rear in gear to get ready. Yes, I dreaded this get-together. Why?

Hello, no rings here. Oh, and did I mention that there's at least one baby? Most of these folks still attend Bellefield, so I don't see them regularly, since I attend the Open Door. They are lovely people. They are even, my friends. But it felt a little bit like the anxiety one might get going to a school reunion. I got the best compliment from Allie: "Your hair looks great long. I saw you the other day across the room and I was stunned at how striking you looked." WOW. Tell me more!

I got lost on the way over there, in part because Pittsburgh is that way. You think you know where you're going and oops! you took one wrong turn and you're on the other side of the river. (Well, not quite, but almost!) I hadn't been to Greenfield in at least a year and I thought, oh, I'll remember when I get there, but clearly I did not. What was interesting was the route I took (before I got lost) was

• past a place I used to go swing dancing,
• a place I used to live (which brought back memories of Sweet William, whistling on the way home from a party.) (We had a fight, I left early, and when I heard his whistle outside my window, I went down to make-up.) Oh, Sweet William. But he wasn't the one for me. But he was a really nice guy. Ah, wistfulness.
• past the apartment building where two women lived that were in a singles/grad students group that lasted about a year, in the mid 90s. I remember coveting their highrise--I've never lived in a highrise except in college and I have always wanted to.

So it was a trip down memory lane and then that pit feeling of crap, I am so lost!! My dear friend Kelly also lives in Greenfield. Our relationship is mainly my cell to her home phone, exchanging prayer requests and updates on our health. Maybe I'll be able to connect with her more this summer. Anyways, she had books I'd lent her at least a year ago, and every time she saw me, she told me "They're sitting on my dresser." She and her kids were walking/riding bikes on the road below where the party was, so I left the party and went to get my books. Oh it is so good to have friends. She knows me on a more daily basis than the folks at the party, so she was able to calm my anxiety. Plus, we got two hugs in--hugs are always the best!

And....it's like the pay phone after your quarter is gone, "Your time is up." Off to wash the hair, etc. and then the UP for the OD, and then to work.

I dream of a blissfully quiet Sunday...

Sarah Louise and the city...

Well, we've already established that I only get 4 channels. (Well, sometimes five...) So I never caught Sex and the City when it was on HBO. I've only had my DVD player since March, so I hadn't checked out the DVDs. No, my introduction was a few episodes when it aired on TBS while staying at my parents. My Monday through Friday routine is: if I'm home at six and/or seven, I watch Friends. Saturdays at six, FOX showed two episodes of that show with David Spade...Just Shoot Me! which at first I hated but it grew on me. At seven, I would watch Friends. One week, I came home, turned on the TV, and David Spade was gone, and in his place was Sarah Jessica Parker and ensemble. So I became more entrenched in the lives of Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha. They show two episodes, from the same season, back to back, so you get a continuity of story. So now I really want to watch Season Six to see how it all works out.

So yesterday, feeling sorry for myself that I wouldn't be attending the Memorial Day picnic at the Creasy's new digs, I went to Giant Eagle and straight to Iggle Video, their video store inside the grocery store. I rented Sex and the City Season One, Season Two, Down with Love, and Mean Girls. So far, I've watched Season One, Disc One.

I like Carrie Bradshaw. She's a writer, and while she has an alarming addiction to expensive footwear, she seems like someone I wouldn't mind meeting for coffee.

When I was in high school, I had my first boyfriend the second semester of my senior year. This is my prom date!, I thought. No, I was his secret fling. He had at least four other secret flings that semester, all at the same time. So you can imagine that a girl might go to Cosmo for advice, if she couldn't talk to her mother. And I was scared. That I'd meet someone, and we'd have all those icky conversations about "Your place or mine," and I'd have to worry about diseases and pregnancy and...I was very relieved second semester of my freshman year of college when I became a Christian. Now I don't have to worry about all that! I just have to save myself...

Famous last words. I didn't date through college. My first boyfriend in Pittsburgh, a year after I'd graduated with my bachelor's degree in English, was bisexual. As in, not really interested in me. That was fine with me--I just wanted companionship. Which worked until he fell in love with me. It was a disaster. I had a few more disastrous relationships, until about eight years ago, when I had *the* disaster. I as good as had a ring on my finger when it became apparent that we wanted very different things out of life. I thought he enjoyed attending church with me. He was doing it merely to rack up points, which he would then later redeem. He required less sleep than I did, so he wanted to go out every night, or stay in. I unraveled. At first, slowly and then with more and more speed, until I was doing what is called in the mental health field as "rapid cycling." I was staying up all night and going to work the next day ENERGIZED. I was talking fast and then I was down in the dumps. After months of my saying "I think we want different things, I don't think this is going to work," he dumped me, when I was already in a trough. Luckily, my mother was already on her way to visit me from Virginia when I hung up the phone with Mr. X. I never got dressed, and answered the door wearing my nightgown. She had never seen me this way. I had never seen me this way. It was the beginning of my long road to an eventual diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder.

My mother and I went out for dinner. We went to see "Good Will Hunting." As we waited for the movie to start, my mom told me about how offended she was when my dad took her to see "Raging Bull," because the language was so foul. Um, we laughed about that later. But the profanity in "Good Will Hunting" wasn't gratuitous, it was just the way those guys talked.

I haven't been in a relationship of that ilk for eight years. When I mentioned that on the phone the other day to Sally, she couldn't believe it. "And how many years since you graduated from Library School?" Four. She's the one with a five year old, which makes the counting easy for me...

As I watch Carrie, and Charlotte, and Miranda, and Samantha, shoe shopping, drinking their Cosmos (which aren't very established in the first six episodes), and dishing about men, I remember who I was when I dated those men. I didn't like what I became when I was with them: I didn't have a life, I had a boyfriend. I became consumed. It wasn't love, it was addiction. I am afraid of that happening again. I have a nice life. I have a garret that I adore, albeit dusty and cluttered. I have a job I like most of the time, albeit not at the top of the salary ladder. I have friends that I enjoy meeting for coffee, or for a morning of baking. Where would a man fit into this lifestyle? The old Sarah Louise would have dropped it all for that knight in shining armor. But the new me, the wiser me? I'm not so sure.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. But all this time in my apartment, drinking liquids, taking sauna showers, taking naps, has made me more contemplative. My English teachers were forever saying I was weak on conclusion paragraphs. So sue me, I still am.

How I spent my summer vacation (part I)

Today I came home to my warm third floor walk-up, a week's worth of mail, and 2 messages on my answering machine. I turned on the a/c, watched Friends, talked to my siblings on the phone, and went to the drug store picked up my photos. I treated myself to a Haagen Daaz ice cream popsicle. It was my reward for paying cash...I'm trying to just pay cash from now on...I've been reading up on debt cascading (where you pay a lot on one debt and the same on the rest and when that one is paid off, you add that payment to the next debt, so that it's like the domino effect.) And the point is, to stop using credit. So I paid for my trip to Midas (an air filter costs $35 to install?) with cash, because, well, I had some. We'll see how long this experiment lasts. The key is to not go overboard either way (in the stingy department or the spending department). Like when you reach a milestone, reward yourself. You may push your "getting out of debt" back a month, but if you're following this plan, you're getting out of debt years in advance, so one month is minor, if you really need a break. I've been listening to this guy's tapes in my car.

So um, that tells you nothing about my summer vac-kay...I got to see my friend Kelly twice, and I got to see my brother every single day!! I usually saw my sister (but she doesn't always get up before noon). I went to Betterton Beach, "the Jewel of the Chesapeake," my favorite beach. I hope to retire near there. (I know, my mom said at 33 you're already planning this?) I love Pittsburgh, and plan to spend the rest of my professional life here, but I need to be near to the sea. My aunt has a house (two?) in South Carolina, near Myrtle Beach.

The day I went to Betterton, it was disguised as a trip to Chestertown, home of my alma mater, Washington College. I had dinner with an old friend and a bunch of his friends, over chinese food and lots of lacrosse talk. But the real reason I go to Chestertown as often as I can is to go to Betterton. My senior year of college was a lonely one. I had a car second semester, and so I used it to drive to Rock Hall and Betterton. The sand on Betterton is not like the white powder you find at playgrounds or Ocean City. It is amber and grainy, like someone emptied a thousand packets of raw sugar. While I was there, a lifeguard (I assume) was cleaning off one of the life guard chairs, getting it ready for the summer. I had my suit in the car, but thought it bad form to assume he would keep an eye out for me when he was clearly working on something. When I went to my car to get my journal, some folks came to the beach and did swim, but I thought it was bad form to join them, complete strangers. So my need to not exercise bad form kept me from exercising my own form. Alas. I have for a memento a stone that is yellow and quite possibly the smoothest stone ever. Last year I took some sand in an empty water bottle and it rolls around the bottom of my car, under the passenger seat.

What else? I went walking in the Memorial Day Falls Church 3k fun run-walk, where you walk around town with thousands of other folks (some people run), and get a free t-shirt and a water bottle! This year the tshirt was pink!! (As in my favorite color, hello?) But I dilly dallied and made a free border at the Creative Memories table and when I got to the tshirt table there they only had extra large. Oh well, it helps to be tall. Although, my mom left hers on the kitchen table (size large) all day and I was seriously tempted to snag it but I didn't. (Such a good daughter am I.)

I had breakfast with my friend Sandi, I had coffee with my friend Tally, and well, it was just a really good summer vacation. I just wanted to finally post something else.

Oh, and at the Memorial Day parade, we met George Fitch, underdog Republican candidate for the govenor of Virginia. This is the guy who created the Jamaican Bob Sled Team (as in the Disney movie Cool Runnings). He was very cool. Too bad I can't vote in Virginia.