Someday......

I will have either an accountant or a husband, and that person will pay my bills for me. It will take them 5 minutes, because they understand how much money is in the bank and when the bills need to be paid.

Unlike myself, who has spent an hour and a half piecing together check registers and on-line banking websites. Have I written even one check? NO!

But even I have my limits. I've done all the hard work--I have to take a break!!

Even when I have money, I hate paying my bills, because I know too well what it is to have more month than money. Right now I have $200 caught in an insurance misunderstanding that won't resolve for another month (OR SO!).

At the OD retreat we talked about how private Americans are about money. We don't talk about how much we make or how much we spend. Our check register is PRIVATE. We talked about how Jesus mentioned money in the New Testament more than anything else, even love. We talked about how our lives might be freer if we opened our check register to someone we trusted, who could look at where our money goes and see what we treasure. Right now, since most of my money is transferred electronically, you'll see two checks go out every week: one for my tithe at the Open Door, and one for my therapist. Yes, these are things I treasure. My God and my sanity.

Ugh. I know I will go to bed feeling better if I actually write the checks, but I am so tired because for me, money is so emotional. I had to call my friend Kelly and whine before I paid my bills. "You're getting ready to pay your bills?" said she. "Ye-es..."

Her advice: put on some good music. Pray about it. Contemplate the blessing that I have a full time job and the blessing that the Grandma money has kicked out most of my debt.

So I'm listening to WORD-FM, where they play Christian music only on Saturday and Sunday afternoon and evenings. But I am TIRED. Time to go look in the fridge for juice or something...