The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.

(Gloria Steinem)

How true. BJ spoke this week on our second practice (okay I'll back up a minute.)

The OD currently does not have "official membership." Which we need in order to become an "official church" in the Pittsburgh Presbytery. A lot of Emergent churches have practices (kind of like Benedict's Rule) and so our steering team (this mysterious group of planners) has come up with the following:

• Listening
• Learning
• Eating
• Encouraging
• Giving

So far we've gone over listening and learning in sermon format and next week (the timing!) is our communion Sunday when we eat together before the service, so there you go. BJ has also been hosting dinners at his house to discuss that week's sermon. I missed the first two because I had a previous dinner engagement and last week I was completely burned out. I was supposed to go see someone play Bill Cosby (a storyteller, who also plays various baseball players) but my life sort of exploded last Wednesday. Enough about me, though.

Where was I? Oh yes, BJ has been hosting dinners. So I'm going this week, and I've reminded a few people (BJ told us to!).

On learning and unlearning: this is my season to learn about friendship. I love the line that Carrie says at the very end of the season finale of Sex and the City: (it's a long one...)

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

I remember going out with this one guy to the movies. He said, "I like going to the movies with you." It was a true compliment coming from someone, like me, who was used to going to the movies by himself. I am now used to going ice skating by myself, as I have done it twice now. (This week, at the very same Igloo where Mario Lemieux and company played so many games...) For years I longed to have someone to walk with in the morning and now I am grateful that I can walk alone with my CD player and take fabulous pictures like the one below.

But gradually and suddenly, my life became infused with all these wonderful people (I guess it sort of crept up on me) and now I long for more time with friends. My life isn't really cut out for it: I work two evenings/week and every Saturday except when I take a day off. So now I'm learning how to balance more friends and unlearning how to be a loner and yet learning how to be alone without being lonely.

It's a lot to learn, and sometimes I feel like an absolute dork. But let me tell you, the payoffs are amazing.