Monday, January 09, 2006

Insomnia rears its ugly head once more

Okay, so I get that taking a nap at 4 until 7:30 pm isn't the best idea if you want to get to sleep. But it is 3 am!! And while normally on Monday I don't have to be anywhere, tomorrow (today) I do!

Things I'm working on, that may be keeping me awake:
  • um, that nap midday!!!
  • birthday card for co-worker, lunch tomorrow. That took about 2 hours trying to figure out a clever enough one...I finally resorted to the Dewey Decimal...oh forget it, if I tried to explain it...at the ala store you can buy mugs with the DDC # for coffee. So I tried to come up with the DDC # for said co-worker. You had to be there. Anyways, it's funny.
  • that darn nap!!
  • i've been missing Grandma more than usual--maybe it's the fact that this was the second Christmas without her, and that I just read a book where the Grandma died, or that I used to always send my Grandma occasional cards (Valentine's, etc.) (And guess what the stores are regalled with). I just finished reading the last 15 or so pages of Dicey's song, where Momma dies and it got me all teary, because when someone is hardly living for 3 years and then they die, it's like you've already been half-mourning and so it doesn't hit you like a brick like it does, say, when your husband gets killed by a drunk driver.
  • January is just a stupid month--it's like August, which is too hot and you just want life to get back to normal. January is too cold and stuff hasn't started back up yet--the comfort of Mother Goose Storytimes, the thrill of the Short Story class...
  • My apartment has returned to its overgrown garden self--it needs weeding and cleaning--badly!
  • I missed church!

So, what to do? This is when you return to Thoreau: SIMPLIFY!

  • I do not NEED to go to the Children's District Mtg. tomorrow. I like going, but it's not mandatory.

Wow. I feel better already. What else can I do?

I have a few verses that Abba gave me back in November. The first one is kind of scary, because the main point is purification, which often means a holy fire. The rest are pretty comforting, but that first one is a doozy. "See, the LORD is coming with fire and his chariots are like a whirlwind; he will bring down his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire." (Isaiah 66:15)

I know I am a woman of "unclean lips" and "I live among a people of unclean lips..." (Isaiah 6:5) I was blown away last week when I read the passage after that--that God basically tells Isaiah to preach to the people until they are deaf to God's word. We always seem to think of that whole "Whom shall I send?" "Send me! Send me!" as the beginning of an exciting journey, a cure for AIDS, a trip to Africa, a trip to Louisiana. No, it was to make the people calloused against God's word. Gee thanks, LORD. That sounds thrilling. Poor Jeremiah, he always gets a bad rap, but he was basically speaking to the same people. People with calloused ears and hearts.

The comforting passages: Is 66:13, one of the few places God compares himself to a mother: "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you..."

Hosea 11:11 I will settle them in their homes, declares the LORD.

Ps 68:6 God sets the lonely in families.

Ps 126:1-2 We were like men who dreamed, our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.

Prov 20:6 Many a man claims to have unfailing love [oh yeah!!] [women are not exempt here either] but a faithful man who can find...blessed are his children after him.

Deut 4:7-9 What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way our God is near us whenever we pray to him? And whatever nation is so great as to have righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today? Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

And this CD, well loved, given to me by a dear friend, needs replacing. (Did you catch the Pittsburghese in that sentence?) It is skipping all over the map. Oh, you say you need to go to Amazon anyways to pick out Emily's birthday gift? Gee, what a great idea! So, bloggers, I bid you good night. May I see sleep before the sun reaches my window panes. I do not relish telling my boss I won't be attending the meeting, but she will understand.

3 comments:

Joke said...

The point of purification is not a scary one. Not, mind you, that it's fun but you should realize you are being purified for a reason.

Think of it as God's mudroom. You're going through the hassle of shaking off the mud so you can go in to the party and stuff.

Like my parents always told me as a kid: "Don't fret about liking it...you are freed from teh obligation of liking it, you just have to do it."

It also beats being scourged, reviled and crucified, yes?

So there.

-J., who knows.

Sarah Louise said...

Thanks.

--erica said...

I think we need to not only recogonize that we might not like it..but that it may be painful as well. Fire burns.