Internet link established!

Thankful doesn't begin to describe this oasis of time and place. Yesterday's meal was the best I'd eaten. This morning we went kayaking, with myself in the reeds more than five times. As Sis recounted it to the neighbors, "You'd just hear laughing, and you'd know she was stuck again."

I have pix (of course) but they'll have to wait til I return to da Burgh.

Last night Sis and I watched Pretty in Pink. She was the one who figured out the DVD player...

Today we're doing seafood for lunch and Chinese takeout for dinner--with candles on the punkin pie, as my birthday is approaching...

It is gorgeous out here. I don't think I'll want to leave...my aunt's house backs up on a gorgeous salt water marsh. If you've ever seen Dawson's Creek, it's like that. We've seen merganzers, egrets, kingfishers...

Tomorrow I hope to join my dad at the beach for the sunrise--and get some seashells!!

Oh, and this is being written from the "internet cafe" at the Egg Place. We walked--it's less than half a mile but you know, no one walks anywhere here...it's all highway...

Cheers!

Are there actually people awake?

Well, internets, this is it. In 20 minutes, I'll be off to the airport. What's that Peter Paul and Mary song? Leaving, on a jet plane....but I do know--I'll be back Sunday noonish!

Since I asked her to not vacuum after 9pm my neighbor has stopped talking to me--so I'm leaving her a Thanksgiving card and some of my birthday flowers. I can't believe they're still good!

I may be able to blog at the beach--my dad just bought an Mac laptop.

Yawn...okay, gotta go!

Just because I feel I need to be positive to offset the last post....

So, it's that time again. I've added two new links to the right.

(Poppy is sure to remember when I posted and said they were on the left--I still use my left hand to make the L and "the other left" would be a common phrase in the SL household if I didn't live by myself, n'at.)

I added Katy and Sandy to my "church shoes" section. I hope they don't mind...since my blogroll is set up for me to navigate to my favorite blogs easily, that's where I put them, since they do go to church. Katy lives in Chicago, though.

Badger and Behind the Stove are smart to be in the B's, you see, as they are also blogs I visit too often.

I'd link this up n'at but this is the moment where if I don't get moving, I won't get a walk. And since tomorrow morning will be spent with those charming TSA guys, I think I'll catch yins later.

This is a public service announcement...

I hate stuff like this. But as women, we all have probably done this at one time or another and thought we were completely safe.

Have you ever gone on a walk (in Pittsburgh, we go to the Reservoir a lot) and put your purse in the trunk?

Well, here in Highland Park, there are guys that hide in the woods, waiting for you to do just that, and then they steal your purse. So far the police can't figure out how they got into the trunks, there are no signs of entry except, of course, that your purse is gone. The one woman who reported it to our neighborhood list serv didn't check her purse until she was in Monroeville (10 miles away) and at the mall, where she'd hoped to return some stuff. Instead, she found that thieves had racked up her credit cards on gas and groceries.

This stuff happens every day, but as we get closer to the holidays, it gets worse.

My dear internets, be safe!

Pretty soon, you'll have to get by on the archives....

...cuz I got no clue if I'll have internet at the beach. So I probably won't be winning any "I finished NaBloPoMo successfully" awards. And frankly, I probably won't care.

But if I leave you with one thing (I'll post at least once tomorrow...) it's this book: I feel bad about my neck and other thoughts about being a woman. Nora Ephron is the writer of When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle. She is a funny lady. And while I sat on the sofa, emptying out purses and finding all kinds of crap, I also came across this book, which had been hiding in my second bag (you know I'm stressed when I'm carrying a purse AND a bag.) Ephron's second essay is about how she hates purses, because they inevitably become littered with loose change and tic tacs and tissues that look used even if they never have been.

If I didn't need to sleep tonight, or check the laundry's progress, or finish packing, I'd finish this book right now, in a huge bite. So instead I'll spend four minutes telling you to read it.

Oh, and take your Vitamin C. You don't want to have a cold for Thanksgiving. So far the zinc and staying on the sofa most of today probably means I'll be okay for the duration, but be careful out there! I can't afford to lose any of my good and faithful readers and lurkers to airborne germs.

Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

(If they do, hit them with a shoe.)

This is what passes for a post...I think I'm getting a cold...

These are the rules. You bold everything you've done. I just through the NaBloPo randomizer found someone who added comments for each one she'd done. Which I thought was interesting, but I'm not going to do that. I might comment at the end.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

I think that was 44, if I counted correctly. I might take a few of these and use them as post topics. If you're interested in a particular one, comment and maybe I'll write about it! If I highlighted the number as opposed to the item, it means I did something similar or I know someone who did or I just want to remember it for some reason.

Off to do something about this burgeoning cold...

If you don't want what you want, then you're not going to get it.

(Madonna)

Went to the Sharp Edge after church. (Yes, you gotta love a church who considers a bar the best place to hang out afterwards.) At one end of the table, a guy was pouring his heart out to two other women about this girl he's not sure if he's interested in. "But what if I spend more time with her and she likes me but as I spend more time with her I become less interested? I don't want to hurt her."

I was not a part of this conversation but my advice would have been, "you'll never know until you try, and eventually if she's smart, she'll figure out when you're not into her."

You know, a date is a date. And it accomplishes something--you learn more about that person. And more, you learn how that person acts with you, something you will not get if you only spend time in group settings with that person--people tend to show different colors in the one on one situation. I think it's much kinder to go on a date and discover you have nothing in common and just don't go on more dates with that person!! than to "hang out" and create a false sense of security. It's cowardly, actually. Believe me, it hurts more.

And a lot women won't outright ask for a date. They may ask you to "hang out" but as far as a meal or a movie, they'll leave that to your department.

So, for all my male readers, (all three?) go for it. Just ask her out. Even if you have a disastrous first date and discover you have nothing in common, you will be able to move on. All this analyzing with your female friends will get you nowhere. Except that you'll order more beers.

I've been on a lot of first dates. And by the end of the evening, one or both of us realized there would probably not be a second one. Totally fine. If you want a second date, go for it. If not, move on. Believe me, you'll be happier in the end.

A good library is a place, a palace where the lofty spirits of all nations and generations meet.

(Samuel Niger)

There was no fanfare, no celebratory cards, but woo hoo, yesterday was the fourth anniversary of me working at my library!! Although I worked for Fox Books, the company, for seven years, it was one, one, three and three in three different locations. So for me, this is a milestone. I didn't even go to college in the same place for four years!

Our library is huge (we have about 100 employees, counting the folks that only work weekends and/or nights). We serve five municipalities and we are blessed at the moment with a decent budget. We definately have an upstairs/downstairs culture, since I have no reason to go upstairs unless to buy pop in the library store or browse through the stacks. (Circulation used to be upstairs but now it's downstairs since the renovation.) Upstairs is Adult Services, so that's 90% Librarians except for a few folks in the computer center that are Library Assistants. Downstairs is more of a mix: Children's, Circulation, Administration, and Tech Serv (i.e. the rest of us, a hodge podge of Clerks, Library Assistants, Librarians, and what have you.)

Librarians and support staff are 98% women (we have 3 men on full time staff, one man who works nights and weekends, and some teenage boy shelvers) and so I've learned how to work with women. It's different--the bookselling world at least in Pittsburgh was male dominated. In Virginia it was more balanced, probably due to the fact that the job market is completely different! (There are real jobs for smart men in Virginia. In Pittsburgh, well, we're working on it, I guess.) (Sorry, let me rephrase that: men who graduated with a liberal arts not engineering degree.)

It's cool, though. We have women in every stage of life. When I broke my tailbone last year, everyone had their own "I broke mine too" story. We have many cancer survivors. We have moms and grandmas and five single childless women. Divorcees, widows, we have it all! Two moms have kids with special needs and we even have one mom and daughter that both work at our library.

I've been to one funeral (for a co-worker's husband). The woman that held the position in Tech Serv that I now hold died right after I took the job, and recently there was a funeral for a woman who worked at the library over four years ago. A lot of folks went. I just missed working with her--she retired right before I started.

People change departments, job descriptions--at least two librarians started as clerks in Circulation. Two librarians that now work in adult services used to work in Children's. Hiring from within is definately part of our culture. When I was having problems two years ago and Gabrielle was leaving to spend more time with her kids, my boss boss and my boss in the Children's dept thought I might like splitting my job between Kid's and Tech Serv. Me, who had never taken a cataloguing class in Library School, except for the core class which is now called "Organizing Information." I don't have the heart of a cataloguer and the detail oriented-ness sometimes drives me up a wall, but I do alright. The fact that I was basically handed the job means the world to me. My boss in Tech Serv has a heart of gold. (She is not universally well liked by all as she is rather talkative in meetings and stands up for her beliefs, but we in Tech Serv stand by her.)

Most folks live in the vicinity and laugh that I drive a half hour to get to work. But I like my commute, it gives me a chance in the morning to prepare myself and in the evening to decompress. When gas prices skyrocketed a year or so ago, everyone teased that I'd need to find a place closer to work. So far (thankfully) it hasn't come to that. My mom, as an elementary teacher, talks about not going to the same swimming pool as her students, not seeing them in the grocery store. I like that separation of work and where I live. Besides, my church is here in the city, where I live. I like that it's less than a mile away and if I wasn't a white woman and my church didn't meet at night I'd probably walk to church. But this post is about my library, so I digress.

I have never felt about a place that "This is the place I could retire from" and for me, retirement will be in 25 years or more, but I feel that about this library. It's a place that I know will support and encourage me when I go back to school and if marriage and a family become a part of the mix, I know that I'll be able to work my schedule around those events too. Plus, I have a host of women to celebrate each moment along the way.

And next year, when it's five years, I'll get a special certificate and a pin at the Staff In-Service Day! Woo hoo!

(No, I won't tell you where I work. It's a library in the North Hills of Pittsburgh but it shall remain nameless for the sake of this blog.)

Things we do around heah (new meme!)

Badger-->MsCellania-->Blackbird--->me!

• BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!
• especially Eat Cake, Dicey's Song, and Girl's Poker Night
• Audio books in the car
• Wendy's for lunch--ice tea, please!
• Drive used cars
• Buy cut flowers
• Listen to a myriad of radio stations ranging from nostalgia to "variety" and including country
• Church on Sunday evening
• Morning walks
• Taking lotsa digi pix
• Staying in touch, whether by email, cell, or telephone. (In person trumps all these, though.)
• Tea or coffee at Tazza
• Cinnabons on occasion (for Miz S)
• Movies in the theatre, reading all the credits.
• Movies at home, again and again and again.
• Friends, Sex and the City, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and Crossing Jordan (once they bring out the new season...)
• Sandcastle, at least once every summer
• Ice Skating

Sarah Louise's Traveling Tips for Air Travel

Well, the first stop is of course a google search.

I have my quart size bags, but what to do with my contact solution...which is not packaged in a 3 oz. bottle.

A few things I found:

Article from the San Diego paper

TSA Blog--the fact that they have one tells me we are not in Kansas anymore, baby. There's a new catchphrase that has to do with security: 311:

• 3 oz bottles
• 1 quart size bag
• 1 per passenger

An interesting website: nevercheckit.com, which offers free info and also sells toiletries with a free ziploc bag!

Hefty's website leads me to believe that quart size is not enough, the requirement is also zip-top.

More later....

"Well I guess if the van breaks down..."

(Michelle Trachtenburg, in Ice Princess)

Somehow, Miss "I never miss the credits" missed that the story was written by Meg Cabot aka Meggin Cabot, Chick-lit goddess. (It's because I don't read credits when I watch videos and I never saw this in the theatres.)

This is a silly chick flick but it makes me happy. I don't need to apologize for that, actually. I happen to be a silly chick.

The main elements: ice skating, two girls rebelling against their moms, Joan Cusack in a serious role, Kim Cattrall in a character role, and well, lots of ice skating. Oh, and a teeny tiny romance.

It's actually very feminist: Michelle's character wants to be an ice skater but her mom is opposed to it because it's a fantasy with girls wearing tiny costumes.

My favorite quote: "What's wrong with wanting to feel strong and graceful and beautiful for once in my life?" (Michelle Trachtenburg)

Kim Cattrall shines in this. It is such a crime that there are not more actual (as opposed to character) roles for women her age.

Well, the movie's about to end, and maybe I'll get a morning walk in. Have a great Saturday!

Update: I'm currently cataloguing a book called Zamboni: the Coolest Machines on Ice. My brother when he was 8 or 9 decreed that I would marry a Zamboni. Not the driver, mind you, but the machine itself. I think this is back when he was planning his own wedding at Pizza Hut.

What I should be doing right now...

...is preparing for tomorrow's Mother Daughter Bk Club on Charlotte's Web.

But my brain seems to have slowed down to the opposite of warp speed.

It might have something to do with the fact that this week I have been going a little too fast. And doing a little too much. (Or, actually, a lot. Let's see: a birthday party, a poster session for a conference, a major order for the cd-rom collection, plus working extra hours to get things done...) Oh and emotionally: a fight with a friend, the reemergence of another one, and the spectre of getting ready to fly to the beach. (Oh, I'm sorry, have I been rubbing that in?)

So...Light Up Night happens every single year. So do bagpipes. What I need is a quiet evening AT HOME! (Although **update** I just got a call from a friend who might be interested in going...I'll keep you posted)

Of course, it helps that Home to Big Stone Gap has come in--I can sit on the sofa and read!!!

I love the cover, but I'm not sure who that's supposed to be...It looks like a girl with her hair up, wearing a blue coat over her wedding dress and white fur covered boots.

Oh, and here's the link to the Tribune-Review article about the dahntahn Fox Books closing. Here's the Post-Gazette editorial on the same theme.

53 minutes to FREEDOM!

It's FRIDAY!!

So, I'm 99% sure that I'm going to Light Up Night. On my ride to work I chatted with Dana, a family friend, who has a gingerbread house in the gingerbread house competiton. It's a Victorian house with a turret and a two story porch.

Dana brought me up to speed on her family news and my family news (she and my cousin were best friends in high school) and her son Cameron made chatter in the background.

She has caller ID, so when she picked up the phone, she said, "Hey girlfriend" and Cameron said, "Who is it?"

I had a long walk today. I did not do the stairs. There is a house for sale by owner...I might call to see what they're asking...AFTER Thanksgiving.

Already I have way too much just in the next three days:

• Tonight: Light Up Night
• Tomorrow after work: catch up on homework for Beth Moore and Stewardship classes...
• Sunday: either go to Stewardship class or go see bagpipes at Bab's church...
• Monday: still don't know if my therapist has decided to work next week...

Plus, I have to pack for the BEACH (I have my quart size baggies--now I have to see what toiletriese are permissable for carrry-on for my flight from Pittsburgh to Myrtle Beach.)

Oh, and I have to figure out if I'm going to have my mail held at the post office while I'm gone and whether I'm driving to the airport....

But did I mention, IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For lunch, I'm doing Chinese (it means I'll have Chinese for dinner). And I need to start pushing paper on the CD-ROM order now that I have made my selections...

Oh, and I saw a very fat cardinal just as I pulled into the parking lot. I almost missed it because it was the same color as the leaves on the bush. Oh, and I saw three blue jays on my walk.

AND DID I MENTION IT'S FRIDAY?????????????

An Introverts guide to Exhaustion: or When it rains, it pours!

7:45 a.m. phone call from friend as she's driving to work. Get cut off for about ten minutes.

8:05 continued phone call. It doesn't go well. I tell her she's going to be late for work, and we hang up.

8:15 send a few emails, call dad. Refreshed and ready to face the world I prepare to...

9:15 go to grocery store. Agonize over Thanksgiving cards. Who sends these? I bought three. (I may be sending them? this year...) Oh, and I couldn't resist a magazine with Jennifer Aniston on the cover...

9:50 get home, phone rings, talk to different friend, in response to one of my emails.

10:00 cell phone rings. Put home phone down, it is Sally, wanting to know where she should park. It's not street cleaning, oh, yes, (looking at calendar) it is the 3rd Thursday...hang up cell phone.

10:01 hang up with first friend, rush down to move car.

10:05 (I had to parallel park!) Sally and I go inside.

Are you tired yet?

Fast forward: I run into guy from first floor, who wants his container back (he brought popcorn to the party Saturday). He also wants to talk, which I do not, as I have company upstairs! I discover that my landlord will be coming over soon, so I stress about the fact that the foyer still has some clutter, which landlord asked me to remove LAST week. Laundry and cleaning ensues while Sally helps me cope with my chaos.

noonish: Lunch with Sally at Chili's, where a friend from the OD is a waitress.

one-ish: Drive to work, where I work on the CD-ROM order. A few phone calls to my distributor and I discover that she DID send me a fax.

I go in search of fax, track it down where it had almost been entered as a bill even though it clearly says Quotation. (That involved two people--but it could have involved three, so I consider myself lucky.)

I call distributor back, explain that she needs to send the next fax with a cover letter. Yes, I know you circled quotation on the fax.

It is not yet 3 pm!!

Satisfied that I've done enough on the CD-ROM order, I go over to Tech Serv, where people haven't seen me for days so they want to know how went the poster session, and the party...

About 3:45 my cell phone rings. It's Marian! She needs a ride to the car shop to pick up her car. I announce that I have an errand and I'll be back in about 15 minutes.

At 4, I call the library and talk to Nan, saying I'm taking my dinner early and I'll be back at five.

Marian and I go to Wendy's for an early bird dinner.

Around 5, she and I enter the library and meet up with lots of people that haven't seen Marian in ages.

No, the day is not done yet!!!

From 5-9, I do myriad tasks, including bringing co-workers up to speed and being brought up to speed (my boss had to go out of town last weekend to take care of an ailing relative.)

At 9, I leave the library, sit in my car and call my parent's house. Nobody's home, well, except for the rodents, and they can't answer the phone. I leave a message.

I commence to drive home. At about Siebert Ave, I experience what I call the screaming mimis, which is when I just want to scratch someone's eyes out. After much agonizing, I call a friend who reminds me that eye scratching is not the best method of conflict resolution. She says she'll pray for me.

I cross the Allegheny River, finish my ride home, listening to Eric Clapton's 1999 album, Pilgrim.

At about 9:45, home at last. And now you're up to speed too.

I haven't decided yet if I'm going to Light Up Night. I love the fireworks and the whole Christmasness of it...I'll have to play it by ear, I think. Plus, I take the bus down--it's the one time I definately take the Martin Luther King Jr. Busway, which I adore. (Buses go really fast.)

Number of people talked to: At least 5 friends, 1 family member, many co-workers. (round it up to 15)
Number of topics: Myriad. Topics ranged from hair color to fax cover sheets to finding my umbrella (yes, it is still lost!).
Number of people I talked to more than once on the phone: Three.
Number of people I communicated with by more than one type of technology (phone, email, fax): At least 2
Number of people I communicated with by cell phone and then in person:Two.

Being at home, listening to the rain fall on the roof: Priceless!

Oh, and did I mention that our spam blocker at work is down again? So that I had to delete more than the usual "Hey, it's Pam, about the password" or "Meet Pittsburgh Singles!" I even had a few emails that were spam pretending to be from our Computer Administrator.

Happy Valentine's Day...

It is raining cats and dogs and "The girl from Impanema" is on the radio.

Yeah, there aren't really words. But just this: I'm learning more about my father than I am about friendship these days. And, that ain't bad.

It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both. --E.B. White

How I love the book Charlotte's Web. I had forgotten what a delight it was until I sat on the sofa this evening and polished it off.

Interlude

So as I'm puzzling through this friendship thing (I wrote pages and pages yesterday as I sat in the class on mediation) I had to continue living my life.

It happens. (Life, I mean.)

And I sat in the hotel lobby and talked on my cell phone to my dad, who is my hero of friendship and mediation but probably wouldn't understand this situation at all because it's a girl thing. But then again, he would probably have a different outlook than the two women who have actually heard the details. Nope, I'm not repeating them here. The woman who didn't hear the details but just that I was very disappointed and hurt said that I should speak the truth in love and remember grace. And that I should stand in my friend's shoes for at least a minute. Then she said she'd pray for me and that I could call her before I call my friend to talk about what happened and that she'd pray while I was talking to my friend. Wow. I didn't know I had someone that would walk that mile with me.

Tonight, I'll come home, flop on the sofa and watch the first DVD on stewardship (I missed the first class.) The guy who does the DVDs is a bit eccentric but a good teacher. I think this might finally get me on how to manage my money, especially since Sally and I are going to use this opportunity to use the forms in the book to look at my money, which is why she started helping me on Thursdays to begin with--the original concept was a barter: I'd babysit for her so she and her husband could have a date, and she'd help me untangle my money. But then she came over one day and the bigger problem, the mess of my apartment was more immediate and so she helped me with that.

I think I have a few gold ones I didn't realize I had (make new friends...some are silver and the others gold).

Marian is still not working--if you're the praying kind, say a prayer for her. She's not responding to us reaching out and we kind of don't know what else to do. (And I, of all people, should understand the isolation of depression.)

Yesterday it was very interesting riding the bus back to the hotel (the Rachel Simon talk was at Heinz Field--y'know, where the Stillers play!!). You could tell which women (we're librarians--we're 95% women) understood Rachel's message and which women hadn't had a situation where they were faced with a disability in someone they loved.

Bipolar isn't labeled a disability, it's a disorder. And I pretty much function like anyone else. I have an exuberent loud laugh, I enjoy life, and sometimes I get deep into the pit of the muck of my life. On the surface, I'm fine. And yet, those that know me, know that my life is hard. Harder because I have to take meds four times a day. Harder because I need to see my therapist every week. Harder because I have to deal with these inner mood swings. Harder because when I see someone who is hurting, I want to help them so badly because I know what it's like.

Rachel talked about "curism" and how a lot of folks in the disabled world hated Christopher Reeves before his death because he was so hooked on getting a cure. (They didn't so much hate him after he died.) But how his relentless search for a cure--well, some of us know that we are better people for the broken places. We are more sensitive to others with disabilities or disorders. We understand the human condition just a little differently than someone who doesn't have a disability or disorder. If someone could cure me of bipolar disorder, I'm not sure I'd take that cure. I have developed a social network because I am one of those lucky people that need people. When I hit my hard roads when the future is bleak, I have to look at my life and see where the patchwork has unravelled. I don't know that I would work that hard at my life if I didn't have the mood swings to manage. Rachel shared a wonderful phrase that I'll share with you: she is a woman who happens to have...as if it was one of a myriad of qualities. Which it is. I am a woman who happens to love pink. I am a woman who happens to love country music. I am a woman who happens to love the city of Pittsburgh. I am also a woman who happens to have bipolar disorder.

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

(Rascal Flatts, God Bless the Broken Road)

Sarah Louise Goes Dahntahn, Part 1

Oh my goodness! I left my house at 9 am and I only just now got home. ACK! and I have nothing for breakfast in the house...

The poster session went great. Even though I dislike the word cute, I have to agree that that it is the key word for the SAS (Stuffed Animal Sleepover) so I just agreed cheerfully as each AND EVERY person said, what a cute idea!

I think it was one of the pinacles of my professional career. I even wore lipstick, and foundation, and blush and mascara today. And matching shoes with matching stockings (both black).

THEN this evening, I got to go hear Rachel Simon speak on her book Riding the bus with my sister, which you all must have to go read, NOW. (Well, I guess it can wait til morning.) More on that when I have more than one brain cell to rub together...

Let's see, I went to the dahntahn Fox Books, which is closing on Dec 30. I got to see Matt, Joe, and Gary. How bittersweet to see them--just as they are a little more than a month from losing the store...I wandered around the store and there are so many memories...

Oh, and I got to ride public transit, one of my favorite things!! Traveling while reading--how I love mass transit! (Yes, still Little Earthquakes...loving it!)

Well, I'd be more poetic n'at but I have to get up in the morning and do Mother Goose back to back tomorrow which means I gotta go to bed, like NOW. Exhaustion, thy name is Sary Lou.

So...part of what yesterday's cryptic post was about is a friend and something that happened that could really jeopardize our continuing to be friends. So I have to talk to her later this week. Since y'all were so kind in wishing me luck on the poster session, wish me luck as I muddle throught this one. UGH. Luckily, the session I attended this morning was on mediation and active listening and having difficult conversations, either with strangers, co-workers, etc.

How's that go? When the student is ready, the teacher appears?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (oh sorry. I'll wait to sleep until after I hit publish!)

Skate at your own risk

I have lost friends, some by death...others by the sheer inability to cross the street.

--Virginia Woolf

Grateful am I to those that do cross the street to embrace me. Grateful am I to those that let me shower them with moments and flowers and time. There are many strong women in my life. May I be able to grow stronger too.

In other news, I have the new audio for the new Adriana Trigliani book, At Home in Stone Gap. It is wonderful, but only on CD, so I can't listen to it in the car. (DRAT!)

Wish me luck--tomorrow is the library conference and the poster session on the Stuffed Animal Sleepover.

Handle me with care

Been beat up and battered 'round
Been sent up, and I've been shot down
You're the best thing that I've ever found
Handle me with care

(lyrics by Roy Orbison, sung by an 80s band, the Travelling Willburys)

So...it's this whole NaBloPoMo thing. Badger's been doing lyrics, I've been procrastinating on adding the do-hickey to my blog (I know how to do it, it's just not my favorite thing to mess with, I'd rather write.) I've been getting some new visitors and new commenters (YAY for de-lurking!) and so last night I tried the NaBloPoMo randomizer. I found five blogs I'll probably return to, and I've found a new favorite blog because it has this amazing soundtrack. The Turning Point, written by Carol (another Pittsburgher) has this amazing thing where you can listen to music. I haven't figured the technical part yet (see above) but I'm listening right now.

So this is a hodge podge post as I wait for my coffee call from Babs. (Coffee, yay!)

Yesterday I mentioned the Paul McCarthy/Wings/Beatles joke. I guess my version would be, oh yeah, I loved Tom Petty's work in the TW. That's when you get blank stares from the eighties babies who know ALL about the Talking Heads and think they're SO into music. (Yes, I'm referring to my baby brother here. Although he might know of the TW's cause he IS that hip.) I mean, I was never into what is that band, the one that sings the Rhapsody song...wait for it...Queen! But my sibs (both born in 1982) are so into Queen and my cousin and I (late 60s and early 70s, respectively born) are like, we were never into them. Well, we were like YOUNG when they were in their hey-dey that's why.

Oh yeah, this is so hodge podge but hey, you'll get that.

So back to Carol. One of the songs on her playlist is Trisha Yearwood's "I would have loved you anyways" which is very much like Garth Brooks' song "The Dance," basically, even though we broke each other's heart, it was worth it. And as a woman who has broken and been broken, I wonder about this. Would I? And am I stupid enough to do it again?

I'm listening to the audio version of Good to Great. Jim Collins is my hero. And one of the things he talks about is how if a company has their ducks in a row (he calls them Hedgehog Concepts) they will ruin themselves from indigestion of good ideas rather than die of starvation. He repeats it. A great company will kill itself from indigestion of good ideas rather than die of starvation. I need to get a paper copy of this book so that I can ACTUALLY quote the guy. So I've thought about this, and how many good ideas are in my life and what would happen if I pursued them all. I would go crazy, that's what!

There is this one idea, though, that is just so tempting...I keep it in the closet of my mind, like a pretty dress that you take out every once in a while--if only you had a place to wear it. But it's too fancy for work, or coffee, or your life. But it was too pretty to leave at the store. I try to justify this idea and I can't reconcile it. I discuss it with friends and they can't justify it either. But it's such a pretty dress, so I put it back in the closet and wait for the right time to bring it out, may that day come.

(Actually, now that I've put it down on paper I see that there are at least three ideas like this in my mind right now, which makes me feel better. And it makes me so glad that I don't have to make any decisions today.)

I'm really digging Carol's playlist. Leonard Cohen is singing "Suzanne" right now and in the time that it took me to find that link now it's Bob Dylan. My brother saw BD in concert recently and said it was the best concert he'd been to. Or the best concert he'd been to in a while? Anyways, he liked it. And to boot, he ran into a girl he went to college with.

Pause...the music stopped, now it is...the Allman Brothers.

And that, dear friends, is not the music, but the tinkling of my cell phone, so I must bid you adieu!

Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again. (updated)

(Daphne du Maurier)

Last night I dreamed of death. Our library was doing a program with a woman who was dying. It bothered me greatly and I was reading her book. (It's a dream, I can't really explain it more than that.) I dreamed that my boss was related to Bobby Kennedy and he and his kids visited us and then they went on a plane that blew up. So then our library was writing a memoir for each child (he had eleven.)

So...luckily, Paula informed me a while back that dreams about death are about change, not about death. Phew!

I also dreamed about refridgerators, and going to night school, riding the bus...

I had two beers last night and some root beer and some lovely sodas from Trader Joes. (YES, we have one in Pittsburgh now.) One of my guests brought hard lemonade and Smirnoff, which was all gone by the end of the evening. I didn't try any of the sparkling apple cider, but my guests enjoyed it as it is now gone. My next to last (or my last?) guest to arrive brought me a bottle of wine. And three folks brought me flowers. Kristin brought a vase (which I normally pronounce as if it rhymes with case, but in this instance, as it is all kinds of gorgeous, it has the ahhh in the middle and rhymes with Roz.) Brie, jelly beans, mango chicken, ice cream, cake were all eaten. I have pictures which I'll post later. Other bloggers present included Eileen, with hubby, Pat and John!

I was sad to see my last guests go, but tired enough to not coax them to stay just a little bit longer. Em stayed and cleaned up and washed my dishes (though as is the case with any good party, I found a plate and a bowl this morning that had been hiding.)

And no one made an issue of my age. Tuesday, working the polls, I lamented that I didn't really want to broadcast my age, as I'm pretty sure I was the oldest person I invited (I think Katie's boyfriend is actually older, but I didn't directly invite him.) (But so glad he came!) Where did that thought go? Oh, and Jerome said, but these are your friends, isn't honesty a cornerstone of friendship? And I did the whole bit about how most of my friends are either 5-10 years younger or 5-10 years older and I don't think most people realize I'm about to be 35. It's like having that conversation (this was a joke when I was a girl) at a date about Paul McCarthy and the other person says "Paul McCarthy was in another band before the Wings?" Now, the joke would be, Paul McCartney was in a band called the Wings? I don't care how old or young my friends are! But I don't like having that part of the conversation where a person tells me they were three when I was in seventh grade. (Yes, I've been in this conversation.)

As I was preparing for my party and I called Sally (not the one I went to the urban craft sale with) and told her I'd just washed four loads of dishes and that I needed to get ice and a cake and beer and she said, can't you call someone and ask them to pick those things up?

And here's the thing. The folks I invited to my party...are pre-friends. [Or, as in the song, make new friends, keep the old, some are silver, others gold--these are silver ones.] We're still in the "getting to know you phase" (even though I've known some of them for five years) and I invited them because I want them to be closer friends. So I didn't feel comfortable calling anyone and saying, can you pick up a cake? Can you pick up some ice? So I called Em, who had said, call me if you need anything. And when I reached her, she was having a DAY. So I got in the car, got the ice, the cake, the ice cream, and the beer. (Did I mention it was raining and I couldn't find my umbrella?)

After I'd bought these, Em called, as I was bringing the beer from the trunk (I got a box of beer bottles--it was my first time buying beer at the distributor--a new milestone!) and said, "Isn't the weather crappy?" and I dropped the beer. Yes, you read that right, I bought a box of beer bottles. The sidewalk got a nice drink and I rescued the bottles that didn't break (I think only four or five did) from the sidewalk broken box as the rain came down.

But I had fun. When Em finally arrived, she said, is there anything else that needs to happen and I said, a lobotomy? because at the point when she arrived I'd just been cramming every last thing that was out into a drawer, or a closet and I was going loony!

Then her cell phone rang and I thought, I just want my mommy and she wasn't home and the other person I call when I have a crisis IS Em, so I wanted to cry. But Em was tidying whilst she talked to her friend about her horrific day so I just chilled. I think I might have poured myself a drink of water at that point. Oh, I know, I made a quick microwave quesadilla (two slices of cheese and two tortillas for about a minute) just in case no one brought dinner food. And the first guest was Kristin, who arrived promptly at seven.

Okay, I have to go eat some breakfast--I'm joining Sally at Sunday School at Bellefield--it's a class on stewardship (read=how to be good with your money).

An East End Experience...

Sally (the one who used to live downstairs from me, not the one who has been helping me clean ze apartment) and I have established a new "birthday" tradition. She started it. In August, on her birthday, we had lunch on Ellesworth at the Elbow Room and then window shopped in all the cute shops there. The shops are gallery-like and though the prices are out of our range, the items there are tons of fun to just look at.

So for my birthday, since she couldn't come to the party (her husband runs a games night every month and it just so happens tonight is that night) she and I made a "girl date." We went to the Handmade Arcade which has been running for three years now--it's an urban craft show. So, imagine the craft shows you go to with grannies and tea cozies and then put it in a warehouse in Pittsburgh, with young (cute!) men and women as the vendors, selling everything handmade from greeting cards, bracelets, skeins of yarn, hats...it was wonderfully exhausting.

I also ran into some people I knew, which is always fun. I ran into a guy I haven't seen in probably nine years, who worked at Fox Books in Squirrel Hill in the back room. I almost didn't recognize him. It was fun catching up. He was able to fill me in on where some folks we used to work with are these days.

To complete the East End experience, we went to the co-op for lunch, which was perfect, as it was buffet (I was at that point STARVING) and salad bar-ish, good for Sally as she is one of those unusual food needs types. Sally is I guess now my oldest friend. I told her my memory of eating lunch at the co-op almost ten years ago, when I was crushing on a French Horn player who later moved to Texas.

It was all kinds of fun, and I am beat! So I'm spending the rest of this rainy day (how nice to be at home on one of those) puttering around the garret. Right now the next task is the mountain of dishes.

We both agreed that the experience was so...Pittsburgh. An urban craft fair, at Construction Junction. Exactly why we both love living in the city so much.

A Hello Kitty hat--I couldn't resist.

It's 10:50, do you know where your brains are?

Okay, you know I RARELY if ever mention Britney on this blog, but this headline had me cackling: Britney's First Husband Calls Kevin an Idiot. First husband? Y'mean the one she was married to for 2 days?

Oh, and at the grocery store...Did Katie Couric get fired? And aren't the Witherspoon-Phillips getting mudslingy? The cover of one magazine: Reese, my story. The cover of some other magazine: Ryan, my story. Egads. Can we go back to worrying about Tom Cruise's baby and whether or not Jen and Vince are engaged, PLEASE????

In order so's to not have to TOUCH the poster until Monday, I stayed at work until the library closed at nine. (I had dinner at Taco Bell around 6:45, continuing to read Little Earthquakes, which I quite like.) I still wanted to clock certain people on sight, but I was able to control these impulses and drive safely to Walgreens in East Lib to purchase contact solution and lots of pop for ze part-ay!

Oh, also at Walgreens, I bought quart size bags (dude--you gotta have them if you're going to fly!) and orange nail polish that I'm pretty sure matches these lovely shoes....





Fun, no? I can't wait for summer (and you almost never hear ME say that!)

party central update--the vinyl is spinning...

The sound is not the best, but I can play records...

(yes, I'm home, remember I had to drive home for the pills?)

Okay, gotta eat ze lunch and motor back to the No. Hills....

NaBloPoMo...all the coolest bloggers are doin' it!

So what is NaBlo...

It's this cool thing that's getting me visitors from all over, that's what! Basically, instead of writing a novel in November (that's NaWriMo) we are all saying we will either post every day or de-lurk every day. How's that de-lurking workin for you? Well, I have had three new folks this week, so I can't really complain (but I'd love to, because I'm in a choice mood...)

Since I already have 401 posts for 2006 and there are only 365 days in the year, it's pretty obvious that I didn't need this to keep me blogging. But I do feel a little more responsible, esp. since this has been the BUSIEST week ever!!

I'll try to post the NaBloPoMo participant thing-y later, when I'm at home. Yes, I'm blogging on library time, but I'm watching the desk at the moment and the most strenuous question I had so far was, "Can you confirm that this is the #4 Harry Potter book?" which I did.

Procrastinating? You betcha!

Let's see, do I want to procrastinate searching for reviews for CD-ROMs or do I want to procrastinate prepping for the poster session at PALA (Pennsylvania Library Association Conference) on Tuesday? Neither. I just want to be. For one minute, if that is possible.

I woke up in time to have a lovely walk, I ran into a woman that I haven't seen in person for at least a year, but who has networked me to find my writing coach for when I prep for the Carlow M.F.A application. Belinda is a great gal who has a business helping businesses with their writing and she used to go to Bellefield. Her daughter is now 12! Which is amazing, since I remember knowing her before she had a child!!

But then I got stuck in the foyer cleaning up the mess of mail and then it was 9 when my lovely Mary Kay consultant was due to bring my stuff. So I ran upstairs, changed my shirt and shoes, and proceeded to wash my face and yes, apply foundation and powder! Jordan showed up at 9:20 because she had forgotten which block I lived on and I gave her a hug and showed her the rejected photos. But in the chaos of her being late, I forgot to pack my pills and give her the box of Rena Tarbet tapes (VHS and audio). Which means I'll
a) have to drive home for lunch (30 min each way, yum) and
b) contact Jordan to get the box of tapes to her. I do NOT want to take the box back to the basement, as my landlord suggested yesterday when he said the foyer is getting junky again.

(lalalala, I can't hear you!!!)

Last night instead of taking a half hour lunch (linner, since it was 5:30 pm) I took about an hour or more because I detoured--I dropped off stuff at Goodwill and then went in. I know. It's counterintuitive but I was so stressed I NEEDED some retail therapy. I got the best orange sandals which I'll photograph and show you later, lovely internets. They are SO CUTE!

I mean, I am like Oscar Junior--I want to bite EVERYONE's head off. I feel like I'm in this vice and I can't get out. Yuk. Maybe actually starting some work instead of procrastinating will help. One hopes.

Later, dudes and dudettes (I know, so five years ago!)

In which Sarah Louise figures out one more thing on Blogger...

...how to have my yahoo! email on my profile not my gmail account. I rarely read my gmail accounts (I now have two.) So ALWAYS if you want me to read it (and I check email pretty regularly as I work on them all day) make sure the address is a yahoo! one!

THANKS!

(btw, this was not an intuitive thing to fix.)

This, on the day when my work email gave me a message on Monday, Tuesday and today saying "Your email is closed." And I had three people: my immediate boss (wrote a note), my boss boss (library director, stopped by to tell me), and my district representative (called me on the phone) tell me my email was closed. Thanks, I knew that, and am working on it right now. Oh, internets, I need food. Otherwise I may bite someone's head off!!

My hissy fit is over now...

Thanks guys. Actually it's those 363 readers that lurk every week that I was mad at. Whatever. Although I've had at least two nice de-lurks this week--grace and gratefulness are clearly things I need to work on...

Also, now that I have a gmail account for my blog different from my gmail account for work list servs, today I found 3 emails--ack! So if you want to email me, don't just randomly click. Go to my profile where my YAHOO! mail address is listed. (Sorry V, I didn't get those emails from October!) Update: crap, my profile email is the gmail--I'll fiddle with that later--egads!!

And my apartment now has places for folks to sit and put down their drinks. The closets will be full with doors closed and the bathtub might have a few items (Sally said, no one will be looking in your bathtub--well, unless they read it here...)

All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well (Dame Julian of Norwich)

Oh, and Sally (another one--I collect them, remember?) and I are going to the Handmade Arcade Saturday since I'm not working on a Saturday, woo hoo!!

Buh-bye, gotta go sit in a CYAS meeting (that would be Children and Young Adult Services...)

Yer pal, SL

The only next thing worse...

...than being rejected is writing a post on rejection and not getting any comments! "Hmm, don't sit there in that tone of voice like that ain't never happened to you!"

A little lesson in commenting.

Acceptable comments:

Wow, that sucks.

Gosh, I don't know what to say (yes! you can say it!)

That happened to me once, and it sucks.

I like your pictures, SL.

I realize that what I'm looking for is a little bit of group therapy, but c'mon, isn't that what these non-political blogs are?

Don't mind me, I'm having a bad day and it's only 9:15--wouldn't you be crabby if you had a dream where you'd been accused of a crime (probably murder) and the only evidence was that you had purchased 600 pairs of nylons (in a bulk pack) and now you only had twenty? Oh, and I wasn't Sarah Louise in the dream, I was some guy.

In scenarios like this (when I'm having a nasty day--today is the last "big clean" before the party) (which means, it's inevitable, the world is going to find out, one way or another, that I'm turning 35 on November 28) I resort to a trick I learned from Paul Zindel. If you know which book, let me know. It's the I hate/I love list. You start out with all the things you hate...well, it goes like this:

1. I hate no comments
2. I hate waking up with my arm behind my back (sore!)
3. I hate not having the courage at 7 am to get up and take my morning walk.
4. I hate that all I got done with my extra two hours yesterday was picking up a prescription and my beach plane tickets.
5. I hate the mess of my apartment
6. I hate that I don't know anyone else that is 35 and that I won't be getting a birthday call from Susan. Seventeen years is a hard habit to break...
7. I hate hating.

So...

1. I love getting calls on my birthday.
   
2. I love going out for dinner on my birthday which means I get calls on my answering machine and I can play them over and over again.
3. I love flowers.
4. I love comments, even the ones that say, "just to let you know I'm still reading."
5. I love my Mary Kay consultant. She is great. More on this tomorrow...
6. I love all the silly quotes that are taped on my desk so I can see them whilst blogging.
7. I love ice skating.
8. I love the Book of Isaiah and especially this verse: "I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight." (45:2)
9. I love people calling me on my cell phone even though it's a long distance call.
10. I love hats. Remember I thought I lost my perfect Target hat? Um, I slept on it Sunday night, it was inside the sleeve of my jacket. So now I have TWO perfect Target hats.
11. I love taking pictures. Here's one...
12. 
    It's at Washington's Landing, where my friend Kelly got baptised. I went cloud watching there one Monday back in the early fall.
    

I submit all my plays to the National Theatre for rejection to assure myself I am seeing clearly.

(Howard Barker, British playwright)

Someday I hope to have this attitude. The humility that what you are sending someone, though you have worked so hard on it, may not be what they want right now, or whatever else they say in the nice form letter that starts with Dear You and ends with Sincerely (don't they know it's gramatically incorrect to omit the Yours?!?), Name.

Yes, they did not want my photos for the UP Unwrapped event. Of course, when I opened the letter, the pictures they mailed back to me looked so amateur, since they'd just been rejected. But hey, now I don't have to sweat framing the photos, or deciding which is better, a matte or glossy finish.

I've been getting other rejections this week--evites are a great way to invite folks to your party, but inevitably folks will hit the "won't be attending" button.

Then there's the answering machine. I know it's not an actual rejection, it's just that the person is not there to answer, but sometimes the machine is so robotic that you want to throw up or throw the phone across the room.

On the way back from picking up my plane tickets from FedEx (yes, the ones for the beach at Thanksgiving, shoop, shoop) I picked up a beer. So now I am going to sit here, listening to jazz and finishing The Joy of Doing things Badly, which is a great book to read any day, but especially on a day when you've your work has been rejected.

Bottoms up!

From the Minority Inspector at Ward 11-1: WOO HOO it's over!

So after all was said and done, I am now addicted to the democratic process. We were a team, the four of us, Minority Inspector (me), Minority Clerk (Ann), Judge (Sheila) and Jerome, I forget what his "title" was. We all agreed we wanted to be a team next election.

It wasn't until we found the pay slips that we found the "Plain English" translation of the referendum, which boiled down to, do you agree that Pennsylvania should borrow money so they can pay folks that fought in the Persian Gulf War.

As the Minority Inspector, I got a huge envelope to take home which has general election results. I have to keep it for a year in case something happens (hanging chads?).

This was the first big election with the new electronic machines, which are basically touch screen and very easy but folks were pretty intimidated at first.

We had visits from poll watchers from the Green Party and the League of Women Voters, as well as technicians and rovers, everyone making sure the system was working. Which it was. We had great voter turnout and only a few people with bad attitudes.

I got to see a few folks from Bellefield and the OD and got to place names to faces of folks from the Highland Park list-serv.

Adrenaline and coffee is what me got through a day that started at 6:30 am and ended at 8:55 pm. I took two breaks: one in the morning, to get coffee and vote, and one in the evening to eat at home, watch Friends and call Bird. She voted this morning, as did my mom. I don't know about Dad, since he's in Michigan--I assume he took care of it by absentee.

Most used phrases by me today:

"What street do you live on?"
"Oh, you're at the other table" (We had two polls in our one very small school vestibule.) (And their table had a bigger turnout.)
"Spell that for me" (There were a lot of C names that sounded like S names.)

If you keep your stub, you can get a cookie at Tazza's and a cup of coffee at Eat and Park.

Overheard at a Mary Kay Open House...

First woman: Have you met X? He's so cute!
Second woman: So date him!
First woman: no, he's too young.
Second woman: So?
First woman: Well, I've actually decided that since I've been through so much crap, I need a guy who has been through some crap in his life too.
Second woman: So you want a man with baggage?
First woman: No, I want a man who HAD baggage, and got rid of it.
Second woman: Ah...

Oh my pretties, I bought the cutest stuff--pictures, later, when it's actually DAYLIGHT or something. Off I go to be a poll worker--woo hoo! (I am getting paid well, you understand, or I would not be awake at 5:58...)

okay, this is for the birds...

and I don't mean you, Sis.

We changed the levels on one of my meds as I was feeling better yesterday and today was just blech!!

However, in an effort to find a cheery something, I'll tell you the good things:

• I was able to put Babs and my coffees on my tab at Tazza!
  
• I was able to spend time with her and limpet (I mean Terzo) which was really nice.
• By the grace of God (so not kidding) I saved $700 when the officer gave me a warning. Let's see, missed a stop sign, hadn't signed my registration--go check yours, I'll wait, expired insurance card in the car (that is worth $382 right there!) Oh, and I was going 45 on a residential 25 mph road. Do you think it was the tears that got him?
  
• Watched Prairie Home Companion the movie: if you are not feeling tip top, I would not recommend this flick--it is not a barrel of laughs, and like all Bob Altman pictures, it moved slower than molasses. Which I can do some days, but not today. I did finish watching it though, and it does not (as most DVDs do) go through the stupid menu music until you finally shut the DVD player off. So there's that going for it.
• Lost my hat last night, bought a new copy at Target this afternoon, along with Jen Weiner's Little Earthquakes. Have no idea what tomorrow will be like--the only other time I worked the polls was the primaries a few years ago and primaries don't really bring in the crowds if you know what I mean.
  
• People keep RSVPing for the birthday bonanza coming up--dear internets, I wish you could come too...
• Ugh.
  
• Ugh.
• Ugh.
• In other news, Ugh.
• ....UGH.

Oh, but my tickets to go to Myrtle Beach are here! Here's me, thinking they're e-tickets and when I came home there was a door tag from FedEx. Since I won't be home all week, I get to drive dahn to the Strip (yes, sir, that's what it's called) to pick them up. So I guess that's a silver lining in all this...ugh.

Oh, and another good thing: Studio 60 is on tonight!!

Guess I'll go see what's for dinner...

Dinner is mac and cheese--yum. And while my mom just got a call from Bill Clinton, all I got was Ed Rendell (our current gov'ner, up for re-election)--thank goodness for Caller ID. Hillary called a few weeks ago when I was sick.

words that look like other words AND make sure you vote tomorrow Nov 7 if you live in the United States of America!!

McRib, for instance. McD's just has uppercase letters for their outside advertising, so it looks like this: MCRIB. And I see M Crib. It cracks me up.

Also, VOTESPA. It's the website for Votes Pennsylvania (Votes PA) but whenever I see it, I giggle as I think about how voting at the polls could be like a spa.

A few websites to learn about candidates in your area:

don't vote.com: it's run by AARP, with the tagline: don't vote until you know where the candidates stand on the issues. It has a map so you can target your state and then you can find your state district by entering your address in a pop-up. (I say this because my pop-up blocker blocked it the first time.) It has articles from local newspapers about the candidates running in your town or city.

votespa: if you live in Pennsylvania, this gives information about the new voting machines. It doesn't give info on the candidates. And there's nothing about spas either. Darn!

Reader's Digest: Get Vote-Ready! Their tagline is, "Fed up with partisan battles and crooked deals in Washington? Then get off your duff on Election Day." They have links to the websites for the Congress, the Senate, and Citizens for Government Waste. You also can read articles on voting and our government.

Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh Voter and Election Information: granted, most of this information is for folks living in Allegheny County, but scroll down for the national stuff.

Congress.org: This is run by Capital Advantage, with information on the U.S. Congress.

National Environmental Scorecard: This site eventually gets you to seeing how folks are voting for cleaner air, etc. in your state. It's a lot of clicking, but if you're diligent, you'll get there. You can do it!!

Project Vote Smart: Enter your 9 digit zip code and find out exactly who will be on your ballot.

I'm sure there are tons of other sites, but these are the ones I found. I don't care who you vote for (since I don't know who you are--lurkers!) but go out and make your voice heard.

Remember, it's a free country, which means you can vote for whoever you like and you don't have to tell anyone who you voted for!

JUST DO IT!

I am that girl that gets an ice cream cone in the dead of winter and stands in front of Jay's BookStall and eats it while reading the titles.

I am that girl...

...that asks for iced tea in November and drinks it, through a bendy straw as she walks the streets back home from Tazza...

...that says to a man walking his dog, "It's nice that it got warmer," when the temperature is 42 degrees...

(hey, my windshield wiper fluid lines were FROZEN yesterday--that has never happened before, yo!)

...that looks at the mom and child in Tazzo and while everyone is fawning over the child, I'm thinking, COOL COAT (on the mom). It was like tweed and embroidery and like a patchwork, but elegant...

...that shuffles her feet through the piles of leaves...the sound is like music. I remember building "leaf houses" with my mom as a girl and jumping, "ba-ba-boom" into the piles of leaves with my dad...

...that snaps one perfect picture of the gingko leaves on the sidewalk...

Brothers and sisters I'm telling ya about a televangelist!

I dare you to read this. Cause there are some good funny sentences in there--I promise! And isn't part of NoBloMo (whatever it is...posting every day in the month of November) de-lurking??? I gotcha!

Oh my oh my. When I fall asleep with the television on, there is no accounting for my dreams! I dreamt about the Little Giant, which 24 ladders in one (or something like that). In my dream it was 8.99, but in reality it's 4 payments of 89.99. But in my dream, I was going to buy one for my Daddy for Christmas and I was trying to show it off to my Mom. Jimminy Christmas! Let's see--I had dreams of success on the stock market, and I swear, there was a soap opera on in the wee hours. Not like the OC--this was like Days of Our Lives or One Life to Live only it was on FOX! I rolled over. Did I turn the TV off? No, I rolled over. What got me started was MADtv, which I started watching back when I lived in Virginia--my sister would watch it. Last night, it was so funny--they used John Kerry as the running gag--it was funny. (Note that I stopped there, because I know some of you like him and you just go ahead.)

But oh my, did I wake up when the TV told me this was a paid religious program and not necessarily the views of the station or its staff. Cause I figured it was going to be...well, anyways. It was Kenneth Copeland. Who I've watched before and I couldn't remember if I liked him or not. But he was dealing with thoughts and how we have to bring them captive and we can supernaturally forget and as a writer I thought, hmm, do I want to forget EVERYTHING because then what will I write about? I mean, I do not want to be writing Christian romances that sell for 75 cents used at the library bookstore because they have no backbone! I have lived some stuff that would sell for full price at Barnes and Noble!

And somehow, I slept with my glasses on but at some point I took them off and so I was worrying about where are my glasses and wasn't paying attention to Brother Copeland...who was doing a rally. And was dressed in denim and his podium was like the front of a motorcycle. The entire stage was full up with motorcycles. And the man was reading from a text that seemed older than the King James. I mean, the thees and the thous were just coming out. I thought, doesn't he know there are modern translations?

But he was precious. He truly was. And I will not say that about very many televangelists, yo.

I mean, a guy who is wearing a denim jacket with no sleeves and the back says "Tribe of Judah" with a big yellow cross and then underneath "Jesus is LORD"-- and he says something and reaches down for his water bottle which has fallen over under his motorcycle podium and he says, "I'll drink to that!" and takes a swig of water. This was drama at its best, folks!

So he said a bunch of great stuff and then he said, "write this down, if you're taking notes." Like he understands that half the congregation (or whatever they were, the gathered) is like with their jaws down to their chins but maybe some geek has their pencil ready (that would be me). And he gives 3 points. I'll share them with you. Oh, and his main text was from 2 Corinthians 10:3-6.

1. Our sin is Jesus' business. Which means if the Devil comes along reminding you of your sin, as much as he might try to sound like Jesus, it's not Jesus, because Jesus wouldn't do that. Your sin is not the Devil's business!
2. Jesus is faithful and just (or righteous) 1 John 1:7-9. Basically here he was saying that Jesus forgave your sins, so he would be unrighteous to NOT forgive your sins if you confess and believe (not if you only confess but don't believe). He said, Jesus is not going to sin for the likes of little ol' you!
3. Purge the memory. Begin to speak the Word.
   

Then he went into some story about how he was riding his motorcycle and a thought came by that he would be hit by a semi and and how then he started rehearsing it in his mind...and he came up with a gem:

"Don't sit there in that tone of voice like that ain't ever happened to you." Which is exactly what I thought last week when Beth Moore was sharing some stuff. I mean, I was with her, but everyone else at WBS was sitting there like they were ghosts and they had no idea WHAT she was talking about. Right.

Then I have some side notes: Psalm 103, Are you hearing me, what do your feelings have to do with anything? which he expanded to "Your feelings come from the same place as those thoughts!" (like the one with the semi braining him or his children.)

Then he talked about talking and walking around your house until you feel in your voice that you have some blessing or victory.

This man was CRAZY! But in a good way.

And then at the end, he was actually selling something. Not, if you give to our ministry we'll give you a DVD, but this is good stuff, you want it, it's $20. I was so impressed! Then you could buy this week's message for $4 on CD! And there was no nonsense about how our ministry needs your money. WOW!

So I have this little pink piece of paper, a mending slip if you'll know the truth (it's from the library and you tick off if there are torn pages, loose pages, a worn spine, etc.) that has these crazy notes. And I'm starved, so it's time to walk to Tazza. I have to go to work at 1 (which I hate, working on Sunday) but I have the morning at least, so I'm going to get my oil changed in my car, Hallelujah!

And my blogging self is thinking: if you keep writing stuff like this, you're never going to get any comments! So I dare you. (Watch I'll get some splogger trying to sell me something sunshine.) (Which really happened!!)

Oh, and the last thing Brotha Kenneth had to say was "VOTE! I'm not gonna tell you who to vote for, God will tell you that, but vote! Don't go staying home and wasting your seed." Yes, your vote is your seed. I'm telling you, this guy was precious!

Talking to my brother is more exciting than writing the checks, now that I've figured out I DO have enough money until payday......

Armadillo facts:

my brother has seen one. It was roadkill.

Armadillos are nocturnal.

Trends say that the 19 banded Armadillo? is increasing its territory, perhaps as far as New York City, which would make sense if you consider the following photo. (Friends, the One with the Holiday Armadillo.)

Okay, time to write some checks...

Someday......

I will have either an accountant or a husband, and that person will pay my bills for me. It will take them 5 minutes, because they understand how much money is in the bank and when the bills need to be paid.

Unlike myself, who has spent an hour and a half piecing together check registers and on-line banking websites. Have I written even one check? NO!

But even I have my limits. I've done all the hard work--I have to take a break!!

Even when I have money, I hate paying my bills, because I know too well what it is to have more month than money. Right now I have $200 caught in an insurance misunderstanding that won't resolve for another month (OR SO!).

At the OD retreat we talked about how private Americans are about money. We don't talk about how much we make or how much we spend. Our check register is PRIVATE. We talked about how Jesus mentioned money in the New Testament more than anything else, even love. We talked about how our lives might be freer if we opened our check register to someone we trusted, who could look at where our money goes and see what we treasure. Right now, since most of my money is transferred electronically, you'll see two checks go out every week: one for my tithe at the Open Door, and one for my therapist. Yes, these are things I treasure. My God and my sanity.

Ugh. I know I will go to bed feeling better if I actually write the checks, but I am so tired because for me, money is so emotional. I had to call my friend Kelly and whine before I paid my bills. "You're getting ready to pay your bills?" said she. "Ye-es..."

Her advice: put on some good music. Pray about it. Contemplate the blessing that I have a full time job and the blessing that the Grandma money has kicked out most of my debt.

So I'm listening to WORD-FM, where they play Christian music only on Saturday and Sunday afternoon and evenings. But I am TIRED. Time to go look in the fridge for juice or something...

All the cool bloggers are doing it...

Self portrait Saturday...

Paula and MsCell did it, so I copycatted them:


Ya like my new haircut? (It's a trim--the bangs were below my eyebrows!! This is not me first thing in the morning--this is me at 10:30 pm as I contemplate getting in bed so I can get up and work at 9 am tomorrow. Fer sure! (Oh, and since we're being honest n'at, I'll be 35 in less than 30 days...)

But I'll post it Saturday morning so that it will count as Saturday's post.

So much for that. Okay, g'nite.

**please note the return of my site meter, a major coup!

And who was I kidding that Novemeber would be better?

• I have to order $1800 worth of CD-ROMs by the end of November
  
• I have to pull together a poster session by Nov 13
• I have to pull together my apartment for a party by Nov 10 and finish the evite by TODAY so people will know to come...
  
• I may have to (if they like my pics) frame and mat 4 photos and piece together 20 prints into greeting cards by Nov 16?
• I have to teach Laura how to do Mother Goose today since I'm going to learn about Law for Librarians on Wednesday

Thankfully, the beach happens after all of these, so I'll be able to relax.

Oh, and I have to decide (and quick) if I'm driving or flying home for Christmas. Probably driving, since I am flying for Thanksgiving.

HELP! I need a little HELP! Oh, and I have to be at work in an hour. I suppose I should eat something....

Oh, and I need to get my oil changed and my radiator fluid flushed for winter. No problem. Because I have a 36 hour day and a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you...

BUT, I am getting my hair trimmed this evening. TRIMMED. Don't go bonkers on me. I like the legnth, but the hair, it's getting unruly.

Posting once a day? When you live in angst world like moi, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Get used to it now, you'll miss me come Thanksgiving when I'm at the BEACH!

She awoke to the hum of the furnace and could feel the warmth in the air. Clank clank went the radiators. Her heart sang. IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Perhaps my "not liking blogging" is due in part to the fact that it has been a point of connection for me and right now I do not feel very connected. I feel like the neverending loop in my head is, "Was it me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Tell me, so I can make it better! Break the silence, I can't stand this anymore!"

Relationships are the most important thing in my life. When Em and I talk about where we would want to get married, she thinks about the qualities of a building and I think about Bellefield, where I have so many relationships--I couldn't imagine getting married anywhere else. I don't use this as a "singleness" moment but just as an illustration of HOW relational I am.

The piece I'll start re-working come January, the piece that will be submitted as portfolio for the Carlow MFA in writing program, is all about relationships. What happens when best friends get other friends, and/or boyfriends and what happens when things fall apart.

So, I was intrigued by the following book, the Myth of You & Me by Leah Stewart. I wanted so much to love it. It has a photo on the cover of two hands holding, one gloved in red, one not. The premise is this: Cameron lives with her employer, a literary critic who is dying. One day she gets a letter from her estranged best friend from high school and college, Sonia, who is getting married. Cameron does not want to deal with the letter, much less respond to it. (Play some dramatic music here.) Eventually, Oliver dies, and his bequest to Cameron is a package that must be delivered in person to Sonia as a wedding gift.

So in what turns out to be a wild goose chase, Cameron leaves Oliver's house in search of Sonia. This is where it gets a little too convoluted. We meet Sonia's co-workers, ex-boyfriends, Cameron's ex-boyfriends...it's a little too much. When Cameron does finally find Sonia, Sonia says, "I wondered if you would really come," as if Sonia meant for the goose chase, which (my supposition based only on the text) she probably did not.

The gift, once opened (I know, spoilers, but the CONCEPT of this book is better than the book, trust me on this one) is a letter to Cameron (yes, not a wedding gift for Sonia, as we had been led to believe) telling Cameron that he, Oliver, is a imposter. He had the same birthday as a guy he met in the army? and (I care so little that I'm not going to go back and re-read it) and so when that guy died, that guy's aunt took fake Oliver in and said, "Do you want to be Oliver?" Which meant he had to eschew everything from his old life, including Billie, his once amour (who was barely mentioned in the beginning, but Cameron has been carrying around a photo of this woman). It was so anti-climactic--like Oliver was the most selfish bastard, I'm dead, my wedding gift to your friend is really for you, it is my true identity.

Here I'm hoping to read insight into the reunion of these friends who have crossed each other in the worst ways possible (sleeping with almost fiances and leaving the other in the middle of Texas at a gas station) that love does conquer all. I get that, but Oliver's story is distracting. I felt cheated.

***********

I had a friend. I chose the wrong airport, I didn't pay her back right away, and seventeen years are gone. (Of course, it is never that simple.) I had a friend. We met every week for coffee. Now there is a silence I don't know how to broach. I had a friend. I cut it off because I realized I was getting too close in an unhealthy manner. Relationships are HARD work. But for me they are the most important work I'll have this side of glory. I want to do the work. I had a friend. She stopped coming to work. We used to eat lunch every week. I don't know how she is. I had a friend. She got engaged and then he dumped her. We usually talk every other day on our cell phones. I haven't talked to her since Friday night. She called last night and I just did the uh huh, uh huh, even when she was talking about my birthday party.

There is a line from About A Boy (the book, not the movie) that sums this up for me: in the opening sequence, Fiona, Marcus's mother has just broken up with her current boyfriend, just before the pizza was delivered. Marcus ponders,

"He didn't think he'd ever get used to this business. He had quite liked Roger, and the three of them had been out a few times; now apparently, he'd never see him again. He didn't mind, but it was weird when you thought about it. He'd once shared a toilet with Roger, when they were both busting for a pee after a car journey. You'd think that if you'd peed with someone you ought to keep in touch with them somehow." (Nick Hornby: About a Boy, p. 1-2)

I guess that's the way I feel about it, in a litany of moments shared with different friends: I borrowed eggs to bake a cake. I borrowed your hairdryer the morning mine broke. I was there the day your child was born. I talked you through chemo. We walked your dogs in Frick Park. I listened night after night as you told me about your fiance. And today, if I called you on the phone, what would we talk about? We live our lives next to each other and then one day we change and we forget to tell each other.

I miss you. Not you, one person, but the plural you, all of you. I do. I realize I may never see you again, it will never be the same again, but I wish that it could be. I wish that it could be different, if that would make it possible for us to live our lives together again.

Go hug someone. Don't drive home alone in the rain singing along with Cyndi Lauper. Pull over, use that cell phone, and call someone you miss, someone that may very well be missing you. Go! I'll be here (and all of a sudden I burst into song) "when the day is new, and I'll be dah duh and you'll have things you'll want to talk about, I will too." (Lyrics courtesy Fred Rogers.)

And I just visited BTS where BB is not only perking along with her novel but dazzling us all with perfect posts. She's gonna be famous--wait, she already is!

*********

Oh and in other news, I really gotta do laundry, pay the bills, and do the dishes. None of which will move me forward in the relationship arena...if I think that all my relationships are outside this drafty garett. But if I remember that the most important relationships ARE right here, I'd think that taking care of me is pretty darn important. Darn, how could I have forgotten that, so quickly?

Check it out!!

BJ's on the radio!! (He's my pastor at the Open Door)

If it's still in the 5 o'clock hour on Thursday, turn your radio to 101.5 WORD-FM in Pittsburgh.

Very cool!!

It's very low tech, not at all like all these pod-casts (I don't have a pod yet...) I'm sitting here in Catalouguing with headphones on the CD-boom box that belongs to Children's.

Blogging...

...is this thing I used to love. And now I find it kind of abhorent. I thought it was a way to make connections, and I have and make friends, and I have. But I have lost them, too. This has been a hard year, 2006. I will be glad to greet the new year.

My favorite movie used to be You've Got Mail, until I had a friendship with a man via email that ultimately was unhealthy for me.

This morning my stomach is still sour.

Strength and dignity clothe her and she laughs at the time to come. --Proverbs 31:25

Book I'm reading right now: Blue Like Jazz

Music I'm listening to: Dave Crowder Band

is this really my life?

I do back to back Mother Goose, I work like a dog, I go to Denny's for dinner and read Blue Like Jazz (pretty good) and then my stomach goes looney. So at 9:39, I'm snuggling under the covers with Thirteen going on Thirty and hoping sleep comes soon.

Ugh. Wake me up when it's Nov 2.

(See I posted!!)

I forgot what today is!!!

It's the last day of this vile vile month!! WOO HOO!

So, just for you, dear internets, top ten reasons why I am not sad to say goodbye to October:

1. All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray...
2. My grandfather and everyone's grandfather died in October the year I was a college senior.
3. No major holidays/birthdays (I don't count Columbus Day or Hallowe'en)
4. How sad is it that I can't come up with more than four?

Reasons I'm glad tomorrow will be November:

1. My cousin's birthday, inagurating the birthday/Christmas season, woo hoo!
2. Thanksgiving!!
3. My birthday!! (and I'll be 35!!)
4. Did I mention how much I LOVE CHRISTMAS??? I'm one of those crazy people that LIKED working Retail Christmas--I loved helping grandmas pick out books for their grandchildren especially.

Okay, is this like the lamest list posting? Don't answer that.

And here's a Hallowe'en joke...

What does a ghoul go shopping for? Grosseries!

This is where the post about how great Studio 60 was would be....

...except that I fell asleep before nine pm on the sofa. See, I was waiting until nine to call Em (when her cell minutes start)...

Whateve. It's that week, so all bets on sleeping, alcohol consumption and actual work done are off. Although, I have got to majorly boogy when it comes to the apartment redd-up for the party--oh, and the heater man didn't come. Fortunately it's not so cold.

Oh, and Happy Hallowe'en! I don't think I've really celebrated/dressed up for like three years (when I dressed up as...wait for it...the color pink!) Marian dressed up as a road--she wore black and had yellow stripes down her middle--it was classic!

Well, off for my walk.

Oh, and the dentist was fine. I mean, as fine as it could be. I get to go back for the right side of my mouth on Thursday--yum!