trying to get past the bitter to sweet...

So, if you notice these things, my tagline (under the blog name) has changed. It's sort of a take off from Paula's which is "Life is sweet..."

I'm not there yet.

My disposition is generally sweet, I love to laugh, I am a fun person and a good friend. But lately, I have noticed that my theme song is "Before he cheats" (Carrie Underwood).

I don't like it.

Why did I love The Upside of Anger? Because I think it is a perfect metaphor for my life right now. I feel like God has cheated me. SPOILER ALERT!!!

So the gist of The Upside of Anger is this woman who thinks her husband has run off with his Swedish secretary. Only to find that (three years later) he had fallen in an open well on his evening walk, on their property. WOW. You wonder how things would have played out differently if the wife had known her husband was dead.

This is not going to be a well crafted post. It's going to be messy, like my life is right now.

Reasons I have for being bitter:

1. I have had at least three friendships fall apart in the past 365 days and I see no repair in sight.
   
2. I thought by now I'd have found a cute Pittsburgh boy and have settled down, starting our own dynasty complete with mini-van.
3. If I move South (closer to fam) do I forgo the MFA at Carlow???
4. I have been at my church for over 2 years and I am jaded and bitter, for lack of community. Yes, and people have started to notice. I have been called "bitter" to my face, when I was listing the challenges that face a women's ministry at the OD. I also have been asked why I'm not at Bellefield, if I like it so much. It sounded like one of those first grade questions (If you love ice cream so much, why don't you marry it?) My dear friend Lily is pretty bitter, and has been for awhile. I figure if if I'm on her wavelength, I'm in dangerous territory.
5. I've actually considered doing a Bible study on Jeremiah (you know, the guy who authored a book called Lamentations...)

Things I can celebrate, however:

1. I love my job more every day. I love my co-workers, I love my work, I love my bosses, I love the flexibility...I love my Mother Goose crowd. I love that I can leave my job and come home and not worry about it.
   
2. I have a great family.
   
3. I have another gorgeous $14 manicure.
4. I pay a mere pittance for rent for my lovely garret.
5. I have a darling car (which is paid for!!)
   
6. Books like SisterChicks Down Under that are light reading but remind me that life is good.
7. Breakfast with friends like Julianne, who are truth tellers in my life.
   
8. Breakfast or afternoon tea with friends like Pete (who will I'm sure have lots of great stories about Russia, when he returns!!)
9. Dinner with friends like Eileen, who soaks her own beans, cans her own roasted peppers and lives in the inner city of Pgh. Who initiated dinner and then picked me up and drove!
10. Friends like Kelly, who say, as she drove me to the Greyhound station, "That's what friends are for."
11. Friends like Sally, who say, "Am I going to regret inviting you to that Jubilee dinner?" (Since sitting next to the guy from Annapolis did sort of start this thought of moving South)
12. My dad, who believes in peace.
    
13. My mom, who reads stuff outloud, just like me.
14. My sister, whose rabbit makes me sneeze, but I love her anyways
15. My brother, who is getting his Master's at the School of Hard Knocks (Been there, done that--I think I might actually have two Masters from that school)
16. Gilead, the best book I've encountered in twenty years. Yes, you have not heard the end of my love for M. Robinson's tome.

Well, my dad is over there cleaning the Foreman Grill, most likely jonesing to get online to send an email, so I'll leave it here. We're not finished here, though...