Saturday, September 23, 2006

I've been in hiding....

("Deliver Me," David Crowder Band)

Okay, I've been reading enough blogs this morning to see that it's time for one of "those" posts.

It's just easier to pretend that I'm not a single, going on 35 year old woman with Bipolar II.

I want people to think I'm normal (which I am!) but I forget that normal means BROKEN.

We all are.

Right now, I'm the healthy one. I tease Marian that right now it sucks to be my friend. Case in point:

  • Relationships are breaking left and right. It's BAD. There are shipwrecks and we need a whole new shipyard!!
  • und so wieta (and so on, in German.)
I'm doing fine, thanks! But since I know what it's like to be on the floor, crying for no reason, I feel a need to reach out to my friends. Yes, my name is Sarah Louise, and I'm a fixer.

These are the things I've been doing. (If you have friends that are going through tough times, take notes!!) And by the way, if you don't have friends that are going through tough times, you probably don't have friends. (I mean that in the best way possible, but us depressives are really good at acting.)

  • Showing up. I call Marian and say, I'll be near your house, do you want me to stop by? Or more forceful: I have something for you (see next bullet), I can drop it off or come by with it on my dinner break at 4:30.
  • Buying little gifts. This week I've purchased little books, a stuffed pig, and a pink magnet board (they didn't have anything with flamingos)
  • Buying milk and OJ. Marian's car is broken and for a few days, so was her fridge. I brought her a can of cold ginger ale each time I visited.
  • Sharing meals. This week I've driven 45 minutes to meet someone for dinner (meet halfway!), I've taken my dinner to Marian's, I've taken her to lunch. (Well, she paid, but I drove.)
  • Commenting on blogs.
  • Posting fun stuff. (We ALL need distractions.)
  • Being honest with my dad. It's taken 15 years for me to stand up to him and say, "Hello, I am doing my best over here, and I'd like you to look at where I was 15 years ago and remember that, not recent history" (15 years ago: I was a straight A college freshman who wrote down every penny she spent and reported back to her investors, I mean parents, quarterly.)
  • NOT BURNING OUT. This is key. For about three weeks, both Marian and I were down, and it was not pretty. Besides, we are two of the best young librarians at the darn place.
  • Keeping in touch with bosses: especially my boss in Children's, who knows all about depression and sometimes I just flop on her chair and tell her all about Marian. I also keep Marian's boss updated, either by email or in person. This is key, because Jenny hasn't a clue on how to handle Marian. I'm teaching her.
  • Watching movies. With Marian, by myself. Laughter is key. Laughter is one of the best medicines out there. And it's free!! And you don't need a prescription!!
  • Going on walks. Which now that it is light enough outside, I'm going to do.
Go, and do likewise. Be well. Do good. And DON'T spill my coffee.

And, as I always say to my dad, Happy Valentine's Day!


PJ said...

You are a good friend SL.

Vickie said...

Yes, you are a good friend. And I'm really glad to see that you are being a good friend to yourself.

Sarah Louise said...

Aw shucks, gonna make me blush...