Wednesday, December 06, 2006

You can dance, go and carry on, till the night is gone...

...but don't forget who's taking you home
so, darlin' save the last dance for me. (Ben E. King)

This will be played at my wedding. No, you haven't missed a news flash, but I do have a few things planned because I know it will be a great day, someday.

A few days ago I spoke about dancing and how I don't like dancing with strangers. I've been to swing nights where I loved the music and I danced with men twice my age who wanted to talk while dancing and I just didn't want to. I understand intimacy, and it's hard for me to give that away. I know myself to be very vulnerable in male/female situations because I've been hurt, badly. But I have also healed, and I want the prize, so I keep putting myself out there.

It's interesting for me, because this blog venture allows me to read your lives too: which of you love your husbands, which of you would shove them under a bus, which of you tolerate the man. So I know that sometimes I must seem like the most naive of the bunch, a dew eyed teenager with puppy love. (Although if I have puppy love, you'll probably not know 'til it's a little more established because I have a pretty wide readership and some things just have to coalesce in private.)

I have accepted fear as a part of life--specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. (Erica Jong.)

Writer's note: I wrote this about a week ago and this morning I thought I'd have to edit and stuff, but it pretty much stands alone.

Oh, and Happy St. Nicholas Day! Did you get charcoal or oranges in your shoes this morning?

5 comments:

Eileen said...

aww MAN!!! I forgot about St. Nicholas day!!! Sheesh - I guess that's what happens when you don't live w/ your parents anymore (b/c my parents TOTALLY did that for us all throughout high school too!)

Katy said...

I found my feet in my shoes this morning.

Amy A. said...

We went to a Christmas dinner on Monday and were told stories about St. Nicolas. He was fascinating. Made me want to do some research.

Sarah Louise said...

We lived in Germany when I was in 1st and 2nd grade and my dad's dad's family is German, so we put our shoes out.

Lauren said...

I was a day late posting, but you can read about my fam's St. Nick's Day traditions! It's a big deal in my family too - I don't know if it stems from my German or my Catholic heritage. Growing up, "St. Nick" would visit the church and we would all set out our shoes before mass and get some candy. What a wonderful tradition!