Monday, December 08, 2008

If I thought I used up all my words, I was mistaken

It's 11:30 a.m. I have been sitting here since 9:30 more or less, doing the 2.0 thing. Email, a letter to the neighborhood list-serv about salting those sidewalks, please, Facebook, Twitter, commenting, etc. etc. etc.

It seems like I've gotten "nothing" done, but I have. I just haven't retrieved clothing from the dryer, done dishes, or taken my morning shower.

There's a line from Jerry Maguire with the ladies in the living room, and one of the ladies says, "I've finally gotten in touch with my anger!" (For film buffs, that woman is the screenwriter/director's mom, who apparently gets a cameo in many of his movies.)

Well, I've been getting in touch with my emotions lately. It's not just hormones that have made me write a letter last Monday to the person who flamed me on Facebook (and late last week, un-friend him). This morning I opened an email from a friend and smiled. As I started to reply, I thought of how I want a big party when I'm 50, whether or not I get married. And then I started to tear up. So I deleted that part of the email response. Then I went to a friend's video of she and her dad dancing at her wedding (sort of) and I was all teary until the music kicked up a notch.

I'm learning that it's okay to get grumpy, and angry, and express that anger. What a relief! After years of laughing it off, or saying it doesn't matter, I am faced with real things to be upset about (unsalted sidewalks in a neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic), real things to be wistful about (friends dancing with their dads at their weddings), real things to laugh at (BJ's sermons always have something that make my signature laugh come out), and my goodness, I'm cold.

I need to get my apartment in enough shape that my landlord can take the window a/c units out and I can cover the windows with plastic. It won't do a ton, because this house has no insulation and as the garret apartment, all my walls are outside walls, but every little bit helps.

I need quarters so I can do more laundry.

Which means I need to get started on this day.

I heart the fact that this qualifies as a blog post, this stream of words that gets somewhere, even if that somewhere is the warm shower.

Peace out,
Sarah Louise

1 comment:

Gingers Mom said...

Sounds like your head is swimming Me too. I like the way your words ramble. And YES it is ok to get angry...and wistful...and whatever else emotion you have.