Friday, December 19, 2008

and now for something completely odd...

So there's this guy. (You knew there was, right?) And for a while I had a monstrous (a little out of control) (well, let's call it way out of control) crush on him. He went away for about two years. He returned, sort of, and I felt sort of like, hmmm, yes. But not like oh wow.

Right now I have the opportunity to see him on a regular basis and all of a sudden, he is just a guy who isn't paying that much attention to me. He is not the guy I am obsessed with that isn't paying attention to me. It's sort of like I figured it out, okay, he's not into me, I'm not into him. I mean, I'd like to get to know him better, but how does that work? Chemistry? And we like people that like us? There is NOTHING. I feel NOTHING. Well, not nothing, because obviously I'm confused enough to come blog about it.

It's very bizarre, at least to me. Cuz I thought I was really into him. And now, I'm not.

(This SL is a little crazy, no? First she tells us to twitter about water, then she tells us stories about water, and then she goes all crazy over the fact that she's NO LONGER crazy about some fella.)

(I live in my head, folks. And all my girlfriends are busy or out of town, and I needed to process this. Lucky you, right?)

But the thing is, I love the thing that I'm going to where he's hanging out, and so now I'll be seeing him twice a month for the next whenever.

And part of me is like, um, God, is this really what you had in mind? But then again, it's a good thing to not be obsessed with someone who hardly notices you. I spent way too much of my teens obsessed with guys that I gave code names like Green Jacket, Green Car, and well, there was the guy whose last name really was Greenfield. I analyzed every little look they sent my way, and it was meant to be if they wore a sweater the same color as the one I was wearing. (I know, right?) So maybe this is like, yay, look, SL can be involved in a group where a fairly cute really smart guy is in charge and that's not the reason she's going.

Of course, my monkey mind goes like this: maybe I'm supposed to invite a friend, and then they'll fall in love and then I'll watch one more perfectly good Christian man get married to someone else, NOT ME.

Or maybe I'll just get ready for bed and figure that this is something I don't understand or need to.

Yeah, that sounds like a really good idea.


Katy said...

Just saying hi!

Sarah Louise said...


Thanks for saying hi! Hi back!