Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Open letters

To Verizon:

I paid my bill a few weeks ago. I forgot I'd paid ahead, so when I got your "reminder email" I tried to sign into the online bill paying thing I've been using since 2003. You told me I had to sign into Verizon first. I forgot my password, so yesterday b4 work I tried the "no time, just want to pay?" option and I needed my "account number" which is my phone number plus some alpha-numeric that I would know if I got my bill on paper. All of yesterday I had no time to double check this. This morning, the day the bill was due (I know...) I got up EARLY to make sure I'd be able to figure it out. I almost had a cow when you told me you had no such account but realized I had entered the wrong email. When I FINALLY got to the payment page, the payment due today was $0.00. GAH!!

Sarah Louise, who is contemplating returning to paper billing...

My dear 2nd floor neighbors:

How old are you? I could hear through the bathroom running and giggling and "there are people in this house that want to sleep" at 11:00 pm. I don't want to be a RA or something, but I hope we can still be friends after I had to come downstairs at 11:45 and rap on your door.

Sarah Louise, who has been living here 13 years, and don't you forget it!!

Dear country radio station:

Here are the songs I'm tired of listening to:

"Stay" by that band.
"Blink" by that guy (the one about turning 102).
"Letter to me" by that other guy.

If you have to play old stuff, try some Johnny Cash!

Sarah Louise, who doesn't have a CD player in this car.

Dear Lucy,

Darlin', I have no idea if I'll be keeping you. Your broken engine mount and rusted out rocker panel and cracked steering rack make you pretty unattractive to me. I understand more now about your name.

Sarah Louise, who named the car after the author of the song, Passionate Kisses, (Lucinda Williams) which goes like this:

Is it too much to ask
I want a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back
Food to fill me up
And warm clothes and all that stuff
Shouldn't I have all of this, and

Passionate kisses from you

Is it too much to demand
I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
Shouldn't I have all of this, and

(refrain)

4 comments:

KitchenKiki said...

Dear Sarah Louise,
I'm sorry. I wanted to be honest with you, but the mean man told me you wouldn't love me if I was. I just wanted a home, now you resent me.
I'm truly sorry-I never meant to hurt you.
Love Lucy

daysgoby said...

Better Business Bureau 'em, baby!

AND I would call your local newspaper and see if anyone else has complained. Publicity sucks for those who prey upon Sarah Louise!

elena jane said...

ugh, verizon!! :(


i happen to love "don't blink" (kenny chesney sings it btw). reminds me of my nan who will be 100 this may.

and "stay" sung by sugarland is a very emotional song.

btw, i never hear these songs on our local country station :( see the videos all the time tho...

Sarah Louise said...

EJ,

I loved Blink the first 100 times I heard it. It is a great song. And yes, Kenny, of course!

and "Stay," well, I'm my mother's daughter--not really crazy about songs that have to do with affairs.

DGB,

I know. I just don't have the oomph at the moment to tackle that job.

KK,

I know. She is a sweet car.

SL