Transparency and Thanksgiving (as in giving thanks)

Driving to work today, I mulled over a few things. From the outside, my life may look charmed to some (or not, to others). But I value transparency and so I thought there were a few things I'd share.

Were it not for many things, I would not be the positive, creative person who writes this blog.

• Many milligrams of psychotropic drugs that I take to manage my diagnosis of Bipolar II. I was diagonosed in 1998 and it has been a journey of ups and downs--my last bad dip was summer of 2004 through winter of 2005. I've had minor ups and downs since then but for the past month have been fairly normal---YAY!
• My parents, who are often enigmas to me, and yet they love me and show it. (Though they drive me crazy, they also drove me from Pittsburgh to Virginia for Thanksgiving and home again) Yesterday on my birthday, they each called within 10 minutes of my "birth moment" which was 4:40 pm.
• My friends: Babelbabe, Susan Fry, countless others that are named and unnamed on this blog--talking to them, spending time with them makes each day worthwhile.
• My siblings: they are insanely crazy but I adore them to pieces. When I was 10, my life was turned upside down by the entrance of my sister. When I was 11, it was turned upside down again by the entrance of my bro. Life has never been the same and I am grateful.
• I have a college degree and a master's degree.
• I just paid off my car!! (Inheritance money from my grandmother has made my life have more "give.")
• Beth Moore, Anne Lamott, Oswald Chambers and many other writers, who inform my spiritual life.
• Elinor Lipman, any number of Chick Lit authors, who make me laugh.
• music music music
• restaurant food
• home cooked food
• frozen meals
• My two therapists: one is a crazy Christian woman who has a dog in her office, the other is a quiet woman with black hair, and my psychiatrist, who is from Northern Italy and speaks with a great accent. He is brilliant.
• The Open Door, a wonderful church that is well, just great. More on that later.
• My Visa card, which has saved me countless times when my paycheck showed up late.
• my cell phone
• my internet access and email
• THIS BLOG!!
• God, of course, who informs all of the above mentioned items and people and relationships.
• The women of Bellefield Presbyterian Church, who have taken me into their hearts and been like second moms.
• My two bosses, who are equally crazy on opposite spectrums: put them together and you might have one person who is really sane or really insane.

When I was in college, a friend of mine and I would make thankfulness lists, or "I love" lists. An item that showed up often was pumpkin pie and milk (as a combination). Counting my blessings always informs me that I am lavished with love, even in my lonliest nights of tears.

I visited a favorite blog of mine tonight while trying to stay awake at work (I later went and took a 1 hr nap) and found this verse, which I promptly printed and taped to my desk. It's from Romans 5 in the Message translation.

1By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us--set us right with him, make us fit for him--we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. 2And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand--out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.

I would not exist nor would this blog without the support of so many tiny fibers that keep me knit together--thank you for your contribution, even if it is only in reading the words across the screen.