"When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place."

(The Acts of the Apostles, 2:1, RSV)

"The sanctuary's not air conditioned," I reminded my mom on the phone as we discussed meeting at a Chinese restaurant for dinner before church.

Well, the folks that designed the "prayer stations" tonight really capitalized on that one...

One station had a prayer, When I'm afraid, Holy Spirit refresh me. When I'm tired, Holy Spirit refresh me. And then when you were done, you were to take a drink of cool water as a reminder of the refreshment of the Holy Spirit.

Another station was a fan positioned behind a card table. (This station was duplicated on each end of the Great Hall.) On the card table was a reminder that the Spirit is like the wind, it goes where it wishes. (John 3:8). It felt really good to stand in front of the fan, and one wonders why the fans were turned off for the rest of the service...

Another station was a table, and on it was a bowl of ice. The prayer was something like this: Our hearts are frozen, we are cold: to God, to others. To symbolize our desire to melt, to be open to God, to others, we poured hot water onto the bowl of ice. The visual, seeing the water melt even a little portion of ice, was a reminder that God does melt our hearts of stone.

I wandered from station to station and ended up sitting on the toy carpet by Alyssa's mom, chatting a bit.

And the sermon was like an old camp revival exhortation: "You are the gospel to your neighbor, your co-worker, your friend." Why do people need Jesus? Because they are sinners. Why do people need the church? Because we can't go through this life alone, as forgiven sinners. IT'S HARD!! God is a missionary God, THEREFORE, we are a missionary people. Maybe you think of a missionary as someone in Africa, or South America. When God thinks of a missionary, he sees your face.

Giving the sermon was the pastor of the Pittsburgh Presbytery. Who before he started his message, told us how much the Pittsburgh Presbytery loves and supports the Open Door, because we are trying new things.

At the end of the service, as folks were folding up tables, I approached him and said, "Thank you for coming, it was encouraging." He said something and I said, "We get discouraged." And he said, people care about this church. People are praying for you. It was good to hear. I needed to hear that.

Lilly was there, and sat by us in the beginning, and later, with a veteran, who walked in just as BJ was saying "The Holy Spirit is an eclectic person." The veteran, wizened and looking a little spaced out, held a flag, which he waved. Lilly knew him, which didn't surprise me, she knows so many people, and went and sat by him, and encouraged him. Even the pastor, as he preached, came up to the veteran and thanked him for his service to our nation.

Oh, and John presented our graduation gift to BJ: a gift certificate for a bike. (BJ graduated from seminary on Thursday, woo hoo!)

And I am encouraged. I am encouraged for having spent time with my family, having folks meet my family...and as I am listening to the PBS Memorial Day special on WQED behind me, I am encouraged. I am crying as I listen to an actress do a monologue of a mom who lost her 20 year old son, who writes a in a journal every Sunday sitting at Arlington National Cemetary.

I hope you are encouraged as we enter this season of Pentecost.* These are not easy times, these times in which we live.

As the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote, in his poem "God's Grandeur,"

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings. (1918)**

*Pente=50, so 50 days after the Passover and now in the Christian tradition, 50 days after Easter.
**First published January 1996; published July 1999 by Bartleby.com; © Copyright Bartleby.com, Inc

We admitted we were powerless...

Friday at the seminary, there was a seminar on the 12 Steps. BJ and Cameron went to the seminar and spoke a little about it during the message. (Oh, and I took a nap this afternoon, and woke up at 6:23, so I missed the first half of church...)

As I drove home, I thought, if life is going to be humiliating (and have you met life? IT IS!) these are two humble men I want on my bus. Sorry, a little Jim Collins there--I'm listening to Good to Great again and one of Jim's concepts is "First Who?" when you figure out who you want working with you. You get the right people ON the bus, the wrong people OFF the bus, and that way, if the bus ends up going to Etna instead of Millvale, you're like, who cares where we go, because, hey, I'm on the bus because of who else is on the bus.

So then I went to Whole Foods and Walgreens and spent too much money...

And came home to watch an episode of Desperate Housewives, which I haven't watched in years. It was an episode where the housewives realized that they only could be responsible for their own responses to life. There's more, of course, but I'm tired, and it's a whole desperate story...

Then I went blog hopping, as I am attempting to get my bloglist on to my blogroll--because Blogrolling has this amazing function where you can see if a blog has updated. Since Bloglines and other RSS reading schemes are crack to me (I'll read forever and never get anything done--more so than usual) this will allow me to see who has updated just by looking at my own blog, with less clicking. (Of course, I'll still go click on my regulars to see where the blogversations are going in the comments.)

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In other news, tomorrow I meet with a potential therapist in the morning (cross your fingers) and in the afternoon attend a meeting about a new group therapy concept. I'm not crazy about group therapy (as Lilly said to me when I told her about it, "my experience with group therapy is that half the folks there were crazier than me"). But my psychiatrist recommended it, and I adore the man, so I'll go get INFORMATION. Then I have to cancel the appointment I have with a potential (but not really potential for me) therapist on Thursday. Our phone conversation made it pretty clear that I don't think we'd be a match: I wasn't able to clearly say to him after he gave me one time to pick that that time is when I'm working. (Tip to any therapists reading this: you give someone at least two choices.) And more importantly I have a work meeting that afternoon. So, I'm thinking, if I just want to get the guy off the phone (which I think is why I said yes) it's probably not a therapeutic match. Ugh. Please, I just want a therapist. NOW! (But a good one!!)

Wherein we admitted we were powerless over our need to blog...Goodnight!! And in case a little bird didn't tell you, it's BJ's birthday today (March 18). So wish him a very happy (just don't say you saw it here...)

Buh-bye!

"Nice brain"

Show and tell: bumper stickers

I didn't say it had to be on your car!! This was a gift from my boss. If you can read the small print, it says, "In books we trust." Apparently I at one time mentioned that I liked hers (on her bulliten board at work) and so when she was at ALA's Midwinter Conference, she got me one.

If it weren't really cold outside and I didn't have a touch of the sniffles, I'd take a picture of my own car bumper. On it are four bumper stickers. They are: Lemonjello's, Sunoco, Union Project, and "Love Falls Church."

Lemonjello's is this coffee house in Holland, Michigan. My brother's band played there. My brother's band was called The Nixon Administration. Isn't that a cool name for a band? (Stay tuned for corrections: I may have gotten the wrong president.) Sufian Steven's best friend owns Lemonjello's, stay tuned for a Hope College post.

Sunoco? No, I do not care that they sponsor NASCAR, (sorry Paula) but they were sponsoring a contest a few years back where if they spotted a sticker on your car, you got free gas. Um, I drive at least an hour each day (to and from my workplace), so that sounded cool. You'll see some trucks with four and five Sunoco stickers.

Union Project? The building where my church, The Open Door, meets. Plus, it's a cool logo.

"Love Falls Church"? It's a play on words, sort of. Falls Church (Episcopal) is the church for which the town where my parents live was named. George Washington, our first President, was a vestryman there. The bumper sticker is vague: are you supposed to love the church or the town? Well, I love the town, I hope my parents never move, (unless they move to Pittsburgh).

My father is against bumper stickers. On your car, at least. So my brother had at least ten on the minivan that he drove in college.

My dad and I have been talking about third world debt and the IMF. I am so grateful to have him to talk to about these things. I invited him to come speak at the OD, which he had already considered...he was at a book signing yesterday for Tony Campolo ('s new book, I assume) and since there were only eight people there, he got to ask TC a question. So he asked him about the IMF. My dad is the greatest.

(IMF=International Monetary Fund. Our church recently had a speaker from Jubilee and a bunch of us are wondering if Jubilee is the best way to go in terms of social justice. From my dad's considerable research, it seems not. It seems that Jubilee would be one of the organizations rioting at the IMF meetings.)

The IMF has conditionalities (like balanced budgets) and from what my dad could see on the Jubilee website, Jubilee doesn't like that. I have more info in emails from my dad if anyone's interested. (And wouldn't it be great to have my dad speak at the OD????)

And this just in: HP #7 will be out on 7.21.07. Read up on Book Seven, thanks to Gina (who is writing again at BTS, woo hoo!)

Insomnia, thy name is "three hour nap."

So I went out Friday night. And I went out Saturday night. And I worked all of Saturday. And so my introvert sirens were on Alert! Alert! So today, when I came home from Tazza, I planned to watch "Joy Luck Club" on video. Um, I took a nap on the sofa and woke up while the credits were rolling. So maybe it was a two hour nap.

Anyways, when I woke up, I was at an EXTREMELY low point.

(If you've seen The Holiday, you might catch the reference:

Iris: Lowpoint!)

So low that I couldn't even reach out to anyone except to try to call my 'rents, who weren't home. I couldn't believe that anything good was coming of anything I'd been working on. (Of course, forgetting that the things I was most worried about are things OUT OF MY CONTROL.)

And all that sleeping did nothing to the laundry and clutter, which has of course, creeped back to haunt my every move. (Except that it IS Sunday, and my first day off in five days, so I think a little grace is allowed.)

Balance, how badly I need that. But I went to church, heavy as my heart was. And I stood up front and gave an affirmation of faith, which was a paragraph of cobbled together verses on how God looks out for the poor, and we should too.

The Beatitudes really speak to me when I'm at low points, and so does worship. The joy came back as we sang "Days of Elijah," "Oh for a thousand tongues," and one of my favorites, "Did you feel the mountains tremble?"

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Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. (Matthew 5:3-11, King James Version, Public Domain)

I feel like I am the queen of mourning, sometimes, so it thrills me to no end to know that I will be comforted. And that I am comforted. My friends buoy me up and remind me of the goodness of life. I was very discouraged when I got to church. I had to scrape my car and refill my windshield wiper fluid halfway to church (less than a mile from where I live!!). But I got hugs and got to see folks I hadn't seen in a while. And after church we went to the Sharp Edge and talked about books, and teased people and debated what had been discussed in the "Message" portion: not exactly a sermon, but an infomercial for Jubilee, a debt-forgiveness program. It was so good to know that I wasn't the only one that had questions. At 10:20, I left, as Crossing Jordan had started at 10 pm.

And so I've been trolling all y'alls blogs, and finding interesting stuff. Oh, and played a few games of Free Cell. I think I'm tired enough to attempt to go to sleep now. G'nite.

He will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love, he will exult over you with loud singing as on a day of festival. Zephaniah 3:17-18, RSV.

Cleaning out the purse (Sarah Louise's random thoughts on a Sunday night)

A new link on the right, under Bohemian Shoes: 3191. These two photobloggers live 3191 miles apart and post a morning picture daily--it is SO COOL.

Have you ever read someone's blog and thought, I want to meet this person, or this person is living the kind of life I want to live? Never? Oh, well, I guess I'm the only one...

Have started reading Reading like a writer by Francine Prose (what a great last name for a prose writer!) and it's the kind of book that makes me want to write. Also, there are two holds on it and it's due on Wednesday...I think I'll be buying a copy soon...but I wish it was in paperback...

Also, the theme for the next month-6 weeks at the OD is gifts. "Gifts" is my main love language (how I express my love to folks) so I'm thrilled! I made a cool box at BJ's beheast, and folks said they liked it. (smile...)

Gifts as in "what's your gift?" (what do you do well?)
Gifts as in "what do you have that was given to you?" (everything--it's all from God)
Gifts as in "what can I give xy and z for Christmas?" (or because they got a promotion or work, or because I saw this and thought of you...)

Eat Cake (yes, that book again!!) is a book about gifts--this book has become my I Ching. I read pieces of it daily. I will sit and read portions aloud because it is a book of wonderful dialogue with a lot of emotion and inflection needed. (An advantage to living alone!) Anyways, during BJ's sermon, I realized it's all about gifts! Ruth discovers that her gift (making cakes) can bring their family out of economic disaster. Her mother and father who have hated each other ever since Ruth can remember reconcile and start playing piano and singing together--using their gifts, AND it's a gift to Ruth to see her parents happy.

Had hot chocolate with the girls at Borders after church. Twas very nice. The Hope/Calvin game is Saturday but I just remembered I said I'd go to Sally's candle party. (I didn't go to Hope or Calvin but it's in my blood as my parents, grandparents and brother all went to Hope.) I've never been to a game, which is broadcast by satellite to bars nationwide, sponsored by alumni. Oh well, there's always next year...

Well, anyways, I spose it's time to get ready for bed...(although since I napped for who knows how long this afternoon I'm not so tired...) Tomorrow (my day OFF!) is a day of:
8:45 Chiropractor
go home, do stuff (like look at bills...)
10:30 drive to NoHills to work for lunch meeting with our Children's District person
until 1:45 pm, drive to Wexford, where I will say adieu to my therapist, a woman I've been seeing for about two years.
go home, do stuff. (like prepare for new Bible Study that starts Tuesday.)
7:15 pm go back to the chiropractor, for a "new patient orientation."

I already checked, Studio 60 isn't on this week--it's 2 more hours of Heroes. Enough already--it was 3 hours last week!!

So even though Carlos says he's done thinking about gifts (the season is over!) I will probably be blogging about it, since I already have one post started.

Upcoming: SL will be looking for a new therapist--sigh. I said to Erin that doing the box for the OD was very therapeutic and she said, maybe you should look into art therapy. Um. So I may do a lot of therapeutic crafts during the month of January.

Oh, and start getting ready to BE A FICTION WRITER.

Calgon, take me away.