Tuesday, September 14, 2021

It's always darkest before the dawn (Thomas Fuller, theologian)

I am forever learning about myself. Some things I have to re-learn, somethings I learn in pieces until it hits me, WHAM.

Recently I put together this about myself: when I get a low-grade something (common cold, depression) it seems to last forever. When I get it hard, it usually corrects quickly. 

(I am not a doctor or scientist. This is just what I have observed about me, by living in my body.)

This happened recently with some depression. I was seesawing up and down for a couple of weeks and then boom, the twentieth anniversary of 9/11 happened and I was a MESS.

Don't want to get out of bed, don't want to shower, don't want to eat MESS. I made it to work, I made it to church on Sunday (albeit late). And I was real with people. People asked me how are you doing and I told them. 

And then last night, I decided to just go to bed. At 8. I did brush my teeth, and I did fall asleep quickly. I woke up at 5:38 a.m. feeling decent!! I lollygagged in bed until my alarm went off at 7, and I WANTED to take a shower! Which I did. 

But like any illness, it's like getting your sea legs back. You feel that burst of health but you've been sick so long that some things have atrophied, so you forget your laptop at home, and you forget you were going to install a StoryWalk® in the front windows and the short dress you decided to wear is not an "installing" kind of dress. Fortunately, I always remember what an old boss at Fox Books said, "There is no such thing as a book emergency." I'll wear pants on Thursday (I'm out of the building tomorrow) and install it then. 

I had a "Defend Yourself" training today and WHOA was that a bit overwhelming. But I made it through the two hours of Zoom. Trainings like this are not Zoom friendly, but whatever, it's the world we live in right now. Fortunately I am home for the second training tomorrow (still on Zoom). This will give me a bit of a break. 

One of my blogging friends used to sign off every time with mtc, so I might start doing it too!

MTC! (which means "More to come.")