So. The last item I have that I tangibly associate with my grandpa is gone.
His Nescafé cup, which was made of plain glass and had the world and Nescafé etched on. I can still see him sitting there at the breakfast table. We had those bowls that were huge for breakfast and well, I can see it, but the words to describe it aren't coming quick and I don't really have time to write this.
I can tell that I'm past the depression, maybe at a "zero" in the plus five, negative five scale, which means I'm normal, woo hoo! as I didn't cry. I picked up the pieces, put them in an empty Kleenex box, and took the kitchen rug downstairs to beat out the shards that I couldn't see. I thought about taking a picture, but I'm too tired.
I'm still tempted, and I don't know if that's cuz I'm overly sentimental or that it really was the last Grandpa thing I had.
Grandma was the one who wrote cards, typed on greeting cards with her ancient typewriter, so I have stuff from her, and even a card with a magnet on the fridge. And she's only been gone three or four years--I can't remember exactly. Crap. But Grandpa has been gone since my senior year in college. And no one lives in Washington, NJ anymore, my aunt and uncle sold their house even before Grandma died.
So now I'm all awash in family memories and I have no dates to match up anything. My uncle died in 2001, I remember that b/c I was in grad school and it was a few months after 9/11. The last time we saw him alive was the weekend after 9/11. Imagine being in an airport in NY (I think it was JFK, but it could have been LaGuardia) that weekend. Everyone getting used to all the new security...there was an editorial in the NYT that day that I would love to retrieve.
Welll, time to go to work. I'm wearing my "pink is the new black" t-shirt.
1 week ago