Thursday, March 06, 2008

What I'm looking for...

A rough draft after watching "How to lose a man in ten days." Chick flicks can be very empowering...

I love Pittsburgh, therefore, I am looking for people who love Pittsburgh. (Or wherever it is they live.)

I love my job, therefore, I am looking for other people who love their jobs.

I know where I stand spiritually when it comes to the basics, etc.

I am not sure a man or a relationship or children will "fix" where I am right now, so I'm not looking for people who think that going out to find people "my age" to date will get me out of the dumps.

I ask for a lot, YES. But I have a lot--everyone said you can't get a library job in Pittsburgh, guess what, I got one, in six months. And I have a lot of great friends who also got library jobs in Pittsburgh, some of them AT the library where I work.

Pittsburgh is not Manhattan. If you want Manhattan, move there. Pay rent for a few days. We'll still be here, paying our medium cost of living.

Relationships are great--YES. But if a man is what I need to get me out of the doldrums, then I must be depending too much on outside stuff to nourish me.

If it's so hard to find a relationship in Pittsburgh, why did I go to five weddings this summer? (Um, they were all IN Pittsburgh.)

If I'm looking for someone to listen to me, to give me guidance on how to move about my life, then I want them to know that they solidly believe in something.

These are the ins and outs of Sarah Louise. This is what I'm looking for in a friend, any relationship, and yes, a therapist.

When I told Marian that my therapist was leaving, moving on to another job, she said, "What do you do to them?" which we laughed about later. But in the past few weeks my therapist has shown a few things that I could have ignored if we were still going to be therapist and client--she was unhappy at that particular practice, told me her pay structure and benefits. So does that make me think I want another therapist at that practice? I would want to know if that particular therapist was happy, or biding her time. I am currently in a depression, due partly (but not only) to the fact that my boyfriend dumped me a few months ago. I'm not sure I want to get married, have kids, the whole kit and caboodle, but I haven't been able to share this with my therapist because her advice to me is get out there, meet people my age, and yes, you have a challenge because you're looking for someone with similar beliefs.

I am having problems with my car. So I don't need to know (after I have been told by my therapist to face my car problems) that she, herself, is trying to figure out how she's going to handle the issue she has with the guy who sold her the car she is currently driving.

It's time to get real. It's time to cut the crap. Yes, I'm angry. But anger can be a driving force.

1 comment:

KitchenKiki said...

Hey if anger gets ya off the couch use it!
Find something that helps you vent frustrations or escape from them or what ever. (I wouldn't have made it through my past year & 1/2 without clay.)
I hope ya feel better, it's almost spring & time for new beginnings. Ya got plenty of love being sent your way, remember that!