"And if you can't commit to something big, then commit to something small." (Merle Shain)

from When Lovers are Friends.

I hate packing. You must know that by now. The thought of being away from my garret for a whole week--I don't relish it. So I procrastinate. Because the big job of packing for a week seems way too big.

I've started eating lunch and sometimes breakfast in my big black chair which resides in the front room. Two bookcases flank the chair, so inevitably I spend my meal flipping through a book. Today I'm especially "off" as I missed my bedtime meds last night. (Yesterday was a marathon day.) So I've been doing small things. And I've been procrastinating. I'lll do a load of laundry, but when I bring it upstairs, I don't fold it right away. I'll do a load of dishes...you get the idea.

So I flopped into the big black chair a bit ago and was soaking in some music on WORD-FM. And to reach my water glass, I had to peek around a large book and what did I find but Merle Shain's classic. In the passage above the quote I cited in the title, she tells the story of Sisyphus in a way that redeems him. He was banished by Zeus to an island where there was nothing to do, and was going crazy. But then,

one day he took it into his head to push a big rock up the mountain on the island, and all day he labored with the big rock, pushing it and pushing it in the hot sun, until at night, with the top of the hill almost in sight, he finally gave up and let the rock roll down the hill again.

...

...though he never reached the top of the mountain with his rock, when they finally found him he was sane, just as sane as he'd ever been.

So, though sometimes it DOES matter what you do, sometimes it just matters that you do SOMETHING. That you commit to something, and see it through. So I folded laundry. And I finally took my shower. Then Sis called and said she was almost at Breezewood. So now, I'm off, to find the next small thing to commit to.