Sunday, October 12, 2008

Where is Almanzo?

We all read the books. I think my favorite was the one where Almanzo builds a house for Laura, complete with drawers for sugar, flour...I guess our millennial example is the closet Big built for Carrie, except that there was more drama there...

So as I clean my apartment, preparing for who knows what? I tackled the silverware drawer. Out came the orange rubber silverware holder that I got at a hardware store but reminds me of Home Depot (there was no Home Depot in Pgh when I bought my silverware holder, but it is the orange color of HD signs.) I thought about Almanzo. I bet he built a drawer for Laura that had divisions for spoon, fork, knife.

As I ponder life these days, I think about how I will never be the geeky one who loves to balance her checkbook. So does that mean I have to suffer through that minutia? Or can I set up checks and balances so that I know what's going on, I'm not surprised, but that doesn't require entering every single last receipt or transaction. And how so many of my friends have already married that guy or gal. But it's just me. I'm the one that cleans the dishes, does the laundry, brings home the bacon, fries it up in a pan...

I also wonder in my mind what kind of conversations Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte would have about the upcoming election. I see Charlotte as a Republican, the rest as Democrats. (Well, maybe Samantha would be a Republican too...) I would love to see them talk about politics, the current issues. I would like to watch THAT episode. They'd talk about Cindy's dresses, Michelle's shoes. And much much more...

I also am thinking about where I want to hang my hat when I'm done with this flat. I have told my therapist I want to live closer to my family, which does mean my parents and sister in VA, but that NYC would put me closer to my extended fam, people that aren't likely to travel out to the Burgh. And since I don't have a ring on my finger or a baby in my womb, it's more likely that I'm the one who will be doing the traveling. That's okay. But I do want that connection with my second cousins. We don't have a big family, but the people that are scattered mostly in the New York area are people who I love to talk to. People that I saw a lot more of when my parents were overseas, because I couldn't go overseas for Thanksgiving. I feel that the life of my family grew when my cousin Kiki started her blog. But I want more.

Also, I'm pretty much a city girl. But I wasn't unhappy for the two years that I lived in rural Eastern Shore Maryland for college. (But I was in college...)

I want a situation where I'm driving less, not more, in terms of my daily commute. Right now all the grocery stores I go to are within 7 minutes. But I drive a half hour or more each way to work. Not that I want to move closer to my current place of work, because I'm NOT a suburban girl, and then I'd be moving away from all those great grocery stores.

I want a situation where I know the mental health services are top notch. Pittsburgh has some of the best clinicians on bipolar disorder--I don't want to move somewhere rural just to be geographically closer to the fam but have to give up my quality mental health care.

Sometimes I think, maybe I should just stay here. I know a lot of people who would applaud that. I wonder how much of a children's librarian I am if I really am only interested in reading to babies? (Huge generalization, I know.) But right now I'm working in an area where the kids are so over-programmed that library programs can't compete. It seems that all school age kids want are Webkinz and books off their AR lists.

Economics trumps all of these, but does it? Can I learn to live below my means? Pay off my debt, live on what I make?

My brain is so scattered. And I'm so sick of this cold. Where is Almanzo?

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