This is going to be one of THOSE posts

Which could mean it stays in "draft" for all eternity. We'll see. The problem, as I just tweeted, about being less depressed is that you actually care about things and start doing more and then when your heightened expectations collide with the reality that there is too much to do because you've been doing nothing while you were more depressed and you can't find the ~n on charmap.exe to wish a friend happy birthday in Spanish and and and...sobs ensue. It's not pretty.

I was just asked if I wanted in for "Powerball." I don't do the lottery, sorry.

Apparently, according to my hormone horoscope, I'm at the weepy stage of my cycle too. GREAT.

So I pretty much cried all the way to work. (I cried before work, and screamed expletives when I figured out I didn't have time for a shower because I hadn't put together my pills for the day.)

I'm reminded of an old Family Circle cartoon. Now, hang on, I don't go much for that comic, it's a little too "precious" for me, but this one stayed with me. Little Bill got up really early, thought he had all the time in the world, did all sorts of things, and ended up LATE for the bus.

I've also realized that I am very much affected by the lives around me. For instance, it feels like years since I've talked to my boss in Children's, a woman who is so wonderful and really my mentor in so many ways. And Marian (the Librarian) has been recovering from surgery, so it's been years since we've had lunch.

And as much as I am adoring reading "Home" (Marilynne Robinson's companion to Gilead), it is a melancholy reminder of my own life. Glory is the protagonist here, and boy do I relate to her character. I won't say more, (no spoilers) and besides, I need to write something cheery before we all collapse into a need for a case of pink Kleenex.

So, I don't have pictures. But I'll paint one for you. Months ago, Kiki (my dear cousin, who has a super-fun blog) issued me a challenge. If you wash all your dishes, I'll send you one. Now, this is no ordinary dish. It's made by Kiki, especially for me. It's pinkish with a warm yellowy glow. It is heart shaped, and at the crook of the heart, there is a rose (on I think a handle) (I told you, I don't have pictures yet.) On the bottom, she inscribed lyrics from a famous song, a song more famous than the show it is in, which is my favorite musical, Carnival. No, not Carousel. Carnival is about a naive girl who comes into the circus world, and the song you probably know is "Love makes the world go round." She also inscribed it Kiki, even though IRL that's not my cousin's name. But it adds to the wonderfulness of it.

The dish is microwave, dishwasher, and oven safe, and it comes with a little purple paper that says so. Since my kitchen looks once again like a hurricane (Ike, is that you?) took over, the beautiful dish from Kiki stays in the box for now.

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So the latest--have I told yins this yet? Now that I have twitter and Facebook to keep up with AND the blog, I lose where I have told people what. So the latest is that the ear infection isn't an ear infection, it's an inflammation of the jaw bone (the jaw bone is connected to the ear bone the ear bone is connected to...). So I'm to take Tylenol and eat soft foods (read: foods you can gum) for two weeks. A delicious discovery: biscotti, when dipped in coffee, is gummable. We're going to Kelly O's for lunch, as eggs are also gummable. I had yogurt with no granola for breakfast, at red lights along Rte. 8, on the way to work.

With my coffee (decaf) and biscotti, I also have a Hershey's special dark bar, because on a weepy Wednesday, this girl needs CHOCOLATE.

Somehow I thought I had hit publish. So I'll do that now.

and if you don't have time to write content, post someone else's list...

[Note: I am playing by the NaMoPoBlo rules. I worked on this last night, so that's why I also posted something written this morning. --ed.]


From: The Oprah Winfrey Show: "What Should I Do with My Life?"

The one big question most of us ask ourselves is "What should I do with my life?" For most people, it's very difficult to answer. Use these simple suggestions from people who have successfully answered this question and are now living the life of their dreams. Be inspired to pursue your dreams and discover the impact you are meant to have on the world!

Ten Steps to Discovering Your Passion

1. Listen to your inner voice. It takes practice to hear your true desires. Your passion will often come as a whisper or serendipitous event that reminds you of what's important and what makes you happy. (My inner voice says I want coffee and a chocolate covered biscotti.)

2. Recognize crisis. Does your job feel like a grind? Are you spending your free time on something you love? Take an opportunity to appraise your happiness. One of the keys to living a purposeful life is seeing that you feel unfulfilled. (Eating chocolate in my free time is fulfulling...)

3. Dwell in possibilities. Your passions could lead you in a lot of different directions to find fulfillment. Explore your life and unearth all of the things that bring you joy. (My consuming passion for chocolate should take me to farflung places like...Hershey, PA.)

4. Tune out the voice of the world. Make the strongest voice in your life your own. Finding your purpose could mean going against the advice of close friends and family. Take a leap of faith and trust in your dreams. (Does that mean I should take a leap of faith and take the next week off work and go to Hershey, PA?)

5. Decide what kind of person you want to be. Rather than concentrating on what you want to do, think in terms of what kind of person you want to be. Let that guide your choices. (I want to be a person who eats dark chocolate and truffle Hershey kisses.)

6. Bring your heart to your work. It takes passion and courage to find a profession that you love. Spending the time to discover that job is time well spent—it could make all the difference in your life! (I like books. I read books to children. I help people find books. I catalog books so people can find them...I think my heart is pretty near to where I work--the only thing missing is DARK CHOCOLATE and truffle Hershey kisses--but my co-workers are pretty good at providing chocolate for special occasions...)

7. Trust transformation. Hard times are a natural part of life. Don't be afraid to change because of your experiences. Instead, let them shape and steer your course. (I am not afraid of transforming into a person who considers chocolate a priority and Hershey my personal Mecca.)

8. Have no regrets. According to the experts, it's easy to regret the time you've spent being unhappy or unfulfilled. Realize that during that time, you developed the skills you need to succeed! (I have no regrets concerning chocolate.)

9. Take the first step. Destiny can't help you until you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. Get prepared to make changes in your life … and start making them! (Changes I need to make in my life--planning a trip to Hershey, PA.)

10. Be patient. Finding your life purpose won't happen overnight. In every life, there's a fast road and a slow road. Most of us take the slow road! Keep your commitment and take small steps to make it happen. (Patience might mean I have to wait, since next week includes a family holiday and I probably should stay in Pittsburgh since my family is planning to visit me here. If I went to Hershey, they'd be pretty confused. Plus, I have no vacation time left over for the year 2007.)

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Now, I am not REALLY this chocolate obsessed, but it was fun to pretend. That's what I love about blogging. I can pretend to be someone else, if only for 10 paragraphs...