"Add a little pain every day"

 (Libby Mosier)

So...this writing thing. I want to keep doing it. So I have to build endurance. And the only way to build endurance is through practice and adding a little more pain every day. So here I am, second day in a row, with only a small inkling of what to write.

Doors and labyrinths. These were the two themes in my session with my spiritual director yesterday. She read me part of a Jan Richards poem that had doors, and while I was waiting for her to get some water, I did the finger labyrinth that sits on a table in her office. 

There was a movie, years ago, where there were doors all over New York and the thing was to find them to get to the other world. If you know that movie, message me, I really want to watch it again. 

The first thing in my notes from my session yesterday is "I don't know." That that is a healthy posture and one that is open, like a door, to a new place. The next note is "What feels ok?" This is a big question in dating. Do I need to talk to this person before seeing them in person, or do I feel safe? What feels ok is a corollary to "what feels good?" another BIG question in dating. 

The next thing in my notes is "look @ thriving." My director talked a lot about thriving, that the kind of talk I was talking was about thriving. That felt good. 

Let go

Step into

Thriving. 

Because you have to let go of things (old junk mail, old magazines, old trash in your car) to step into thriving. Case in point: yesterday I spent hours just going through old mail, filling the recycling bin. Yesterday I went through my car and found many treasures among the fast food wrappers. Socks, books I bought on my last trip to Pittsburgh...I have 4 days off at MLK weekend. I was thinking to go to Pittsburgh (where else?), and I invited my SIL, but if she can't go, maybe I'll go to Philly!! And visit Libby! Writing literally takes you places!

Faith --> thriving

Just notice. 

Noticing is big. I noticed yesterday that I was able to stay quiet longer, lingering in the quiet, which is something I find very difficult. 

The first time I did a labyrinth was in the basement of Bellefield. I have a poem I wrote about the basement of Bellefield, I wonder where it is. Anyways, now I know of many labyrinths, the herb garden at the Garfield Farm, the cloth labyrinth at East Liberty Presbyterian, the one outside the Lutheran church on Arlington Ridge Rd, and there's one on the land of the church where I go for Spiritual direction. Oh, and the finger labyrinth, which I found a little disappointing because it wasn't a real labyrinth, it didn't go all the way through back to the beginning point. Which I think is the magic of labyrinths. It doesn't look possible that you will get to the middle that way or that you will get back to where you started. 

                                            Photo by Fabrício Severo on Unsplash

We talked about Stephen Sondheim's death and "Being Alive," and how neither of us had seen "Company," the musical that song comes from. 

I think I'll end here. I've run out of things to say. Please go to the link for the lyrics of "Being Alive" if you don't know the song, they are exquisite.